The whole story would take a book but basically - mom illegally had my husband revoked as a dpoa as the attny she took him to did not perform a compentcy exam and his diagnosis was senile dementia......he would have signed the dec of independance........created huge mess.....Dad wwii vet, should at very least be on the nursing home list for veterans.......mom now the dpoa.........Dad is on HOney thickened diet.....mom has huge paper taped to the wall saying insert joes hearing aides and dentures evry morning.......dentures I have no clue.......all the pureed food just collects on his teeth through out the day......Dad has poor vision since stroke but only has reading glasses........the va had given him hearing aides but the nurses station claims Mom took them for repair........I do not think it takes 7 weeks to repair.....what I do have is a signed release from Dad before he had his stroke allowing third party medical info from Va........can I get new hearing aides for him - and I get some sort of eye dr in there to give him an eye test or does Mom have sole control over this.......he lies awake looking at the ceiling or at the blank wall because all he can see is the outline of the tv and dim movement and he cannot hear it all......he hears us when we talk to him up close so I am sure he would be able to hear footbal games with hearingaides in.........I just don't know who to go to for help.......also he is on honey thickened liquids........his water is drinkable, his juice is drinkable but his "milk" looks and smells like vanilla pudding - you can flip the glass and nothing will come out.........I purchased thickening agent at drug store and made him honey thickened milk which he drank tonight..........aide did not like the fact that I made a comment on his food sheet that he received NO MILK when it was listed , that he hated honey ice tea (his food paper claimed he should hve had cranberry juice) and she took to head nurse who told us not to bring him anything to drink............unless they have a search your tote bag policy, I am not going to allow Dad to waste away without bringing him some whole milk or vanilla ensure but at the same time do not want to get kicked out of the place........should I contact the owner of this nursing home LaVie (they own over 500 nursing homes across the US and when Mom tried to have me banned using her dpoa, I had to contact them and cite the 1987 OBRA legislation and the fact that they accepted medicare/medicaid they were not private and therefore could not ban my visitation.........treading on thin water but to put it mildly Dad's quality of life sucks and you can tell he wants to die........at this point, I know how to puree foods just as well as the nursing home and thicken liquids to honey consistency - two nurses on my husbands side........I feel that they cannot possibley have a "you can't bring anything Policy" or they would make you leave your large purse outside of the room........should I try calling Va.......any ideas would be appreciated..........
Are you totally estranged from Mother? What does she say about the hearing aids? If you know where she would have sent them for repair, contact them. Otherwise contact the VA regarding hearing aids and glasses.
For listening to tv, a wireless headset may be very useful. He can have the volume as loud as he needs it, right in his ears.
Without POA you may run into some barriers. Do the best you can. Your dad sure needs an advocate!