Follow
Share

After being in Memory Care since June of 2019, and after taking 55 falls due to advanced dementia, my mother is now transitioning and taking the final leg of her journey on earth. It came unexpectedly, although she's been declining for the past 6 months. I believe she had a TIA about 12 days ago b/c her upper lip was droopy and she was slumping over more than usual in her wheelchair. The hospice nurse advised that TIA are oftentimes precursors to bigger events down the road. On Sunday of this week, she could no longer sit up in her wheelchair & had to be moved into her easy chair in her apartment. On Tuesday she went to bed and has been there ever since. I feel like she may have had a real stroke, but we'll never know for sure.


She's now developed a fever and is short of breath; the nurse feels heart failure is at play. She's being kept comfortable by hospice, who's been marvelous since they accepted her in late December. I've been visiting her every day & listening to her whisper to someone she's having a conversation with that I can't see. It's probably one of her beloved late sister's she's been talking about incessantly for months now. :)


We are scheduled to leave for AZ next Friday for my DH to have a liver transplant at the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix. We can postpone the trip if necessary, by about a week or so. I don't feel like my mother is going to last too much longer in this condition, though, but only God knows her future.


Please keep us in your prayers if you are so inclined, as this is a particularly difficult time with mom's transition and an impending liver transplant coming up. I fluctuate between feeling relieved that her pain & suffering is coming to an end, and incredibly sad at the same time for having to bury my mother. I'm sure you can relate to that mixed bag of emotions.


Thanks in advance to all who read this and send their prayers/good vibes/well wishes. You are appreciated.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Lealonnie,
I'm very sorry for your loss and prayers for you and your family.
(2)
Report

Lealonnie - prayers and blessings to you, your husband, and mother. Thinking of you.
(2)
Report

My condolences to you upon the loss of your mother. She wasn’t an easy person to love but you did love her, and well! Blessings and comfort to you and your family.
(1)
Report

Lea, I am very sorry to hear about your mom's passing. I hope time will heal the wounds that you are bearing now and bring you peace.

I also fervently pray that your husband gets his transplant and recovers fully and well, so you can have many more happy years together without the specter of caregiving hanging over your head.

(((hugs)))
(3)
Report

dear lea,

my deepest condolences to you. and wishing everything good for your husband, and for you.
(2)
Report

Prayers Lealonnie for your mom, your husband's upcoming surgery and yourself as you navigate this difficult time! (((Hugs)))
(2)
Report

Lea
I’m so sorry for your loss. Safe journey and much success on the surgery for your DH.
(1)
Report

May you receive peace in your heart at the loss of your mom and for your hubby's upcoming transplant. I have a lot of faith in the Mayo... I will pray his procedure is a success. Blessings to you and (((hugs)))
(1)
Report

Lealonnie, I am so relieved for your Mom being at peace now. You never have to fear for her again. I travel with you and your hubby in support; you are going to one amazing amazing place. My best wishes out to you, dear heart. You KNOW how very LOVED you are on this Forum. You know how many thoughts, wishes, and prayers will be with you. You know you have our love. Best to/for you and your hubby.
(4)
Report

Isn't it amazing how the Good Lord works out all things for good for those who love Him? He knew how important it was and is that your husband not delay his transplant, so He took your mother Home before you may have had to delay things. He is so good like that!
I pray now that you can concentrate fully on your husband(and yourself too)and that everything goes well with his transplant. Your mother will now be his angel looking out for him from above.
God bless you and your husband as you now take this next step in his journey.
(4)
Report

Hope that the surgery is successful. I am glad your mom was comfortable and at peace.
(3)
Report

I am sorry for your loss. Peace and prayers. all thebest to your husband as he goes for his surgery.
(3)
Report

Lealonnie,
My condolences for your loss.
Many prayers for your comfort at this difficult time.
May God protect you, and keep you, and give you peace. 🕯
(3)
Report

Dear lealonnie, I am sorry for your loss and no time to grieve. May your mother be watching over you and your husband on your way to Mayo clinic and when husband has his surgery.
(3)
Report

Lea, (((((hugs)))))) and Hodspeed to you and DH.

I'm so glad that you'll be able to remember your mom with peace and that she had a positive impact upon the folks who cared for her.
(3)
Report

Dear lea
I’m so sorry for your loss. sending biggest love to you and your family. I hope your husband surgery goes well.
take care
xxx
(4)
Report

((((((hugs))))) lea This long journey is over. You have done so well. Prayers for you and your hub for the coming surgery and time of recovery. Take care of you!
(4)
Report

LL I am so sorry for your loss. Now, safe travels and best wishes to hubs on his upcoming surgery.
(4)
Report

This timing. has finally worked to help you move forward and concentrate on your husband. I am glad this very long journey has its closure. I know how much you gave towards her care. I wish you peace and strength in dealing with her passing and providing all you need for your husband's future.
(4)
Report

Mom passed tonight at 9:33 pm. We spent all day with her, all week actually. I knew she'd take her final breath tonight, after we left and she was alone. She lived a long life and died with a peaceful look on her face. Hospice was phenomenal and kept her comfortable the entire week. She got to see her great grandson again and she woke up when she heard him cry. She saw her grandchildren and all the caregivers were in and out of her room the entire week paying their respects. One young and particularly lovely girl named Angelica said she was honored to meet mom at the end of her life when she was beginning hers, so she could carry her memory with her forever. That touched me tremendously.

We can leave for AZ soon without the worry of mom's declining health hanging over us, thank God. We're waiting for a call from thr Mayo clinic tomorrow to see about driving down there.

Thank you to all who have reached out with kindness at this difficult time. I appreciate it,
(18)
Report

What a lovely farewell note you've written. Comfort to you all.
(2)
Report

I think about your situation alot. I hope there is a power overseeing this difficult time. I hope you don't have to delay your trip unless all could still go smoothly a week later. I also wish your mother can find peace and comfort and not suffering at this likely final stage. You have been such a strong support to her as well as to so many here on this site.
(1)
Report

I'm sorry to see this, I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.
(1)
Report

That’s so much to deal with. Stay strong and take it one day at a time.
(2)
Report

Keeping you in my prayers Lea.
(2)
Report

Lea
So sorry to read this post. No more falls for your sweet mom. Know that we are keeping watch with you.
(2)
Report

So sorry, sending prayers.
(2)
Report

dear Lealonnie
sending much love and thinking of you all xxx
(2)
Report

lealonnie - I am sorry for you impending loss. I am praying that your mom will pass peacefully and quickly. The waiting and watching are so nerve racking.

And the best wishes for your husband's upcoming operation.
(4)
Report

Big hugs.

Ohmygoodness that really is too much to keep calm about all at once. Take care to take some care of you, won't you x
(2)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter