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Part of me is afraid to contact the ombudsman, attorney general, based on my mother trying to report abuse to the NH and they twisted her words and did this to her. Since she is still in the same NH what would they do to her if I report?
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NeedingHelp, While I understand your fear about what the nursing home MIGHT do to your Mom if you contact the ombudsman or attorney general about your Mom's situation. What I do NOT understand is WHY you are letting someone else dictate your Mom's care.

It seems that you are PARALYZED with FEAR and are SO AFRAID of the Nursing Home staff that you can't even protect your own Mom. YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO FIGHT for your Mom's rights and apparently you refuse to or are unable to do so. You talk more about getting a phone number list then what you are planning to do to get your Mom better care.

All I can say is "CONTACT the Ombudsman and attorney general ASAP!"
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Your saying Mom was at another facility and then sent back to the same nursing home? You could have asked at that time to transfer her to another facility. You better hope that the state doesn't give the home guardianship then ur up the creek without a paddle.
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Had to reread all your responses. You need to realize your Mother has rights that are being violated. I have never heard of anything like this. You MUST call the Ombudsman and request that Mom be transferred out of that home immediately because you are afraid of retaliation. I would ask that she be taken to a hospital for evaluation.
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WHY did you LET her go BACK to the old nursing home???????????

Dear Heavens, you were complaining about it being such a horrible place. When she was discharged from the mental hospital would have been a PERFECT time to change nursing homes.

I suggest you get a sibling or trusted family friend to either help you with this or have them do it all. You are not handling this correctly and (according to you), you mother is the one that's suffering.

Call the people we've suggested or get someone to do it for you. But DO something!
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The nursing home had her checkbooks? Did I read that correctly? Is this a nursing home or a AL?
Who is paying for her stay?
How did this drag on for 3 years?
Why oh why did she go back to the same NH?
When was the last time you saw your mother? Do you live far from her? 
Did you by chance keep a log or diary of who you spoke with and when? 
Sexually assaulted at that NH? It should have been shut down. 
NH affiliated with a realty company to sell her house? Who is living in her home now? 
I am totally confused. 
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Shane, we all are. Neither the AL or the NH had my Moms check book or able to sell her house. I think the OP maybe confused about how Medicaid works and thinks its the home. Seems to me they weren't that involved with Moms admission. Not aware that Moms rights are being violated from the beginning. Sounds like a horror story.
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Something's wrong here. Maybe with the poster? IDK, way to bizaar  (spelling?) to be reality. Imho
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Dear NeedingHelp - Please move your mother to a different ALF. Google a search for a new place, and make arrangements today. You are not going to fix this current house of horrors any time soon, and to keep here there makes me question if you are the one responsible for allowing her abuse to continue. File your complaints while your mom is elsewhere. The most immediate concern "should be" your mom's safety. I am aghast just reading how your mother is at this place 3 years, being kept in a small dark room when she is claustrophobic and afraid of the dark, was sexually abused at least once, and shows up with bruises. I am shuddering. Please post to let us know you got her somewhere safe.
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Needing help has not posted for 6 days. Do you think we have been duped? Reading GingerMays response made me think this is so unreal.
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Had a meeting at nursing home with APS after they took her back to the same nursing home. If you read the posts we were unable to have contact with my mother because of APS. Please do not comment unless you read the entire thing. We had no control over where my mother went to because we were not allowed contact. At second meeting 7/10. They are still saying the doctors have not release her current mental status and that we cant do anything because her mental health is in question. They are telling us we have to wait to see if she is able to make decisions for her self or not.
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If you read the entire thing you would see my mothers sisters took her there and she signed herself in for her foot. Everything was fine until about a year ago. Please read all before responding. I appreciate the people who are trying to help with good advice! Thank you!
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My question at this time is the NH is her payee. How did they get Payee without my mothers consent? Also, since the NH is her Payee. Will they pay for the new NH? How does that work? How do we change the payee?
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Please give your opinion and why? Should I report to the Ombudsman before getting my mother into another NH? Or should I wait to report?
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Needing, I think you should have seen the Ombudsman (and the police) after she said she was raped.

I think YOU should sit down, undisturbed, and reread this entire post, starting from YOUR FIRST WORD. I won't speak for everyone, but I'll tell you what I think, since you asked for "opinion and why".

Your OP is extremely upsetting! If your Mom has really gone through just half of what she/you claimed, that NH should be shut down. A publicized investigation done, the responsible parties brought to justice, tried and convicted!

How in the world can you sit and type repeated questions on a random website, asking anonymous people what to do?!
Hmmm I think not. I was born in the morning....but NOT this morning!!
Either....
this is a lie, or
Your only 12 y/o,
or you've got your own issues of your own.

Dude, (you claim) your mother was RAPED, thrown across a bed by a male aide, communication cut off, denied personal property, checkbook stolen, income rerouting, lied about, house stolen, NH own realty, sold her house, locked in a small dark room, reported to APS as a threat, locked in a pshyc ward, family sign in sheets hidden from APS, cut off from family, family denied info etc.....????

Then you twiddle your thumbs, continue to ask for advice, yet take NONE of it! You were told weeks ago to see the Ombudsman, and here you are today, acting insulted and indignant, because your story, and lack of action is unbelievable.

If that was our Mom, we would have stormed that place long ago! Wild horses wouldn't have stopped us! RAPED!! My brothers would have ...... Forget it. I'm done.
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I never said raped I said sexually assaulted and I never said house was sold yet. I said they are making her sell it, medicaid. I said the nursing home has a realty company. I did not even know there was an ombudsman until I posted here. Every one is telling me different things. Some people say report before and others say report after we get her moved.
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Hired lawyer to try and get guardianship and they said they are waiting on doctor paperwork to determine mental health. NH says they have never received anything from doctors at meeting with APS, said they only had 1 sheet. Took a picture because they didnt let us have it and noticed it said 1 of 17 on bottom when looking at it at home. Meeting 7/10 requested the rest and noticed they had a fax run time of 6/22. the day she was released. NH lied about not having those papers at APS meeting. Lied to APS and the lawyer.
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Good for the lawyer. I'd also ask about suing the home. They were so wrong in how they handled this whole thing. Moms rights were violated big time. Get her to a different home. Now you know how it all works, can be on top of the new one. Good Luck.
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This is so scary... I would go to the police, or even a tv show to share the story and get help. Remember, you must be determined and get media attention to get your mom out. Hugs...
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This is so sad. It seems you let too much time pass, and things escalated while you missed action. This is so horrible...
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I'm trying not to be or sound judgmental, however, APS would NOT be going in and taking "emergency guardianship" of her IF ANYONE WAS INVOLVED.

You wrote that the staff said only 2 family members came to see her. Must not have been very often if APS took control of things. When (what year in the NH) did they have authority over her?

My question is; How many times did YOU see your mother during those 3 years? It sounds like you were not in the picture (MIA-maybe for good reason (?))
Where is your aunt right now?

Usually, when someone signs themselves into a facility or program, they have the power to sign themselves out. She could not have been kept against her will. It must have been that her behavior changed dramatically (dementia?), during the years in the NH, for them to place her for observation/eval yo in a psych facility.

When she was "sexually assaulted" ("after 2 years") why didn't you take her OUT of there the next day? Or did APS have control of her then?

This situation sounds as if it evolved without any family members being around.

It's good (albeit too late) that you hired a lawyer to help straighten it out.

Take your concerns NOW to the Ombudsman and the CEO of the NH.

I guess we can't figure out HOW it got to this point. It SOUNDS like her family abandoned her and the powers that be had to get involved. You can't blame them IF she had no family involvement. Somebody's got to watch out for her.

Are you just coming into this situation now?

Do you WANT to be the guardian for your mother? You post seems awfully "removed" from the situation. What ARE you trying to accomplish?
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You should hire professional Eldercare for this purpose.
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I am Agree with SueC1957.
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Admins,you time to shut this thread down, please.
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Dear Website Administrators;
The original poster has not posted any comments since  July 15, 2018 and he/she rejected all and any suggestions made.  Please shut down this thread as it is no longer current.
If the original poster has any updates regarding the situation or if they have other questions or concerns that they want to "VENT" about without receiving any advice or suggestions, then they can start a NEW Thread.
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Call your state obsbusman that’s what they are there for to help anyone that is in this situation they will go in and do an investigation. Look on the internet for you state obsbusman . Good luck.
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