Many of you know that Dad was facing his last and perhaps most difficult challenges, declining from complications of dysphagia, losing either, strength and/or agility, yet still battling his way to reach 100. He almost made it. Dad lost his battle with life yesterday evening, about 40 - 45 minutes after I had left him at the SNF where he was getting hospice services. That's also the time it generally took me to get home when I left his house. He would call to make sure I got home safely. There will be no more calls now. I find it hard to even convey the depth of the bonds we had, the admiration I had for his stamina, his self taught knowledge, his adventurous spirit, and his insight into human behavior. Suddenly that's gone, but the benefit is that he's no longer struggling just to swallow water. He's no longer struggling to urge his compromised body to help him just turn in bed. I brought him to the SNF for post-hospitalization rehab, with the expectation that once again he could summon that tremendous spirit he has and overcome obstacles. But he was unable to do - the ravages of aging were winning. Gradually I saw the deterioration, my attitude changed and my hope diminished, and I began to look to the support of first palliative care, then hospice, to ease his suffering. I will miss him more than I can express; it's hard to articulate the meaning of a parent who was so strong and so inspiring, even in the face of so many obstacles, including intervention of others. But he's at peace. Goodbye Dad, and thank you for everything you've given me.
GA, I read your post here a couple of days ago, and I was feeling too emotional with my OWN emotional response to your description of this relationship you had with your father... that I didn't post at the time. I thought I would wait a day or two and then offer condolences. If that's how *I'm* feeling about your loss, I can only imagine that you are feeling very raw indeed.
I'm so very happy for you that you had such a friend in your father. I can only imagine what it would be like to have such a wonderful friend, a lifelong friend, taken away, the incredible loss you must feel... even while you celebrate his life and your special bond with him.
I think a journal is a great idea. You could "talk to him" when you're missing him.
I wish you growing peace in coming months. Many (((((hugs)))))) to you.
My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful and loving tribute you wrote to your beloved dad. We are the lucky ones to have a good dad. Thinking of you during this sad time. Sending hugs.
Much love and prayers for you and your family.
The hournal is an excellent and beautiful idea
I immediately thought "I need to call Dad to tell him I saw a nesting swan", then the reality hit me. So I've decided to start a diary/log of what I would have told him were he still alive. It'll be a sort of journal of the things we shared together. I hope it helps me get past that abrupt shock of no longer being able to share events and sights.
I may even add some art work, as that always relaxes me.
And again, thanks to everyone for your condolences and suggestions. I hope to spend more time responding to them after getting some more arrangements made now.
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened"
You were blessed to have such a wonderful bond! Biggest hugs to you (((((Garden)))))
May you have comfort in the difficult days ahead.
Blessings
Veronica
Take extra care of yourself, wishing you peace.
Take good care of yourself in the days ahead.
Many {{{hugs}}},Lu
We are here for you if you have any questions. Please keep being a regular on this forum, as you add so much professional information.