I am the only caregiver nearby and she must go when we go, but will be angry and wanting to move in with us. We are new empty nesters and are not ready for a third person in our home, particularly since our relationship has never been good. When we mentioned moving last year, she was agitated and angry for months, so the topic was dropped. She doesn't know yet that our house is for sale and we intend to move in the next six months. How can I help the transition be as painless as possible for all concerned?
I also want to emphasize to please don't allow your mother to manipulate you with any negative ( or frightening) emotions on her part. Yelling and getting angry can be very effective, and my husband and I have found that we need to ignore such outbursts on my father's part, when we're doing something that is clearly in his best interest.
I needed to see my own doctor for support during the period when we moved my father, and I needed to be given an emergency supply of the medication Xanax, to calm me in those highly stressful situations where I was trapped with my father and couldn't get away for relief. ( ie---the days we were packing him up and riding in the car with him to his new home. My Dad nearly became unglued on those day.) I only needed to take the Xanax on three occasions, but it was a Godsend.
Good Luck and God Bless!
Good luck,
Carol