I need to accept that's the way it's going to be from now on as Mom's Lewy Body Dementia gets worse.The response I got last night was, 'it's always something' when I told my Aunt about some things that are happening now, I thought she should be aware of. I don't know if I should even say anything else to them. They both have their families they are taking care of, I get that.But it seems like the one Aunt is set on helping the other sister while ignoring my Mom. I am looking at a lonely road here.
It is always somethlng with elderly , it’s a fact . Maybe that was her way of commiserating….like saying ‘ yeah , same here’ . The woman probably doesn’t know what else to say . She is caregiving for her sister , while you are caregiving for your Mom .
She probably thinks it’s all covered as best as possible with each of you taking care of one person . She like you is weary and most likely even an older caregiver than you are, and she’s maxed out . Maybe she’s tired at night . I myself usually end night time calls more quickly .
You are correct caregiving often is a lonely road . Try to keep in touch with friends and socialize and have normal conversations that are not about caregiving . Take a break , put it out of your mind sometimes . I think both you and aunt are very weary . Chalk it up to that , move forward . This conversation wasn’t terrible . Cut both of you slack .
You have been dealing with your mom and her issues for a long time, it is always something and unfortunately, it makes us weary as the ear recipients of these situations, not nearly as weary as the boots on ground (you) but, weary nonetheless.
I would encourage you to just be breezy and uplifting when talking with your Aunts, this will help you step away from moms stuff and give you some time for normal conversation with people you love.
There is really nothing anyone, including you, can do to change your moms situation, she apparently likes to be and make life difficult, it burns people out, so YOU need to remember to step away from mom and take care of you.
YOU MATTER TOO! (((HUGS)))
Caregiving is lonely. I had no help because my brothers don't live nearby. Both 7 to 11 yrs younger than me. Don't expect and you won't be disappointed. Except that your it. Mom will get worse and maybe aggressive. You may need to make the decision to place her.
You mention below wanting to remove this post and I suppose you could try contacting one of the moderators. But I don’t think there’s anything unusual or embarrassing about what you stated in your question. It’s part of the caregiving experience, and like Amxietynacy said, it’s normal.
Thinking of you!
I'm sure you feel very alone. And you just wanted to talk to someone in your family that gets it but there too involved in other ills in your family. What your feeling is completely normal. That's why this support group is so needed for many.
Thinking of you, and hugs to you
Tbh I can not blame her for choosing who or what she prioritizes.
Is there any way I can get this post removed?