Mom passed away this Monday evening. It was peaceful and I was with her. She had been eating very little ( a few bites of food, or some soup, then I'm full) in the past couple of months, but still her usual level of cognition and up and about in her wheelchair. My kids were going to be at their inlaws for Christmas this year, so we all got together the Sunday before to have a meal and exchange gifts. My sister and family, my 2 adult kids and their families. I brought mom from her MC facility and she enjoyed it, especially the great grand baby hugs. We took lots of pictures.
Then the next day on Monday, she decided that she just wanted to sleep, they couldn't get her out of bed; I thought she probably was just tired out from the long day before, but it continued on Tues, just able to get her a few bites of pudding with her meds, and a little water. Then Wed, back to normal,, sitting up,ate, having a nice visit with her cousin. So, I thought ok, just needed some downtime.
Then Christmas eve, it all changed. Back to bed, not eating, sleeping, not able to rouse at all, would mumble and shift in bed, hold your hand but not open eyes. Hospice doctor decided to hold meds, since she had lost weight, maybe that was making her too drowsy, that they might be building up in system and need adjusting. But it just didn't do anything.
So I had to make a call whether to accept this was the end, that maybe she had had a brain event, did I want to take her off hospice and hospitalization for feeding and hydration etc. Based on her weight loss from before and her changes in cognition in the last few months ( more trouble with words, difficulty eating) I said no.
But it was difficult. They kept saying she was a strong lady, because it's probably only a " couple of days" was 10. They had oxygen on hand for comfort, if she needed, but the morning she died her oxygen sat was 91. She just slept, and held our hands, until the last day. They administerd a low dose of morphine only a couple of times over those days when they bathed and changed her as she exhibited some distress then. And again once on the last day as her breathing was more rapid.
I'm going to miss her, but there is relief in there too, because these last few years was not how she wanted her life to go and was hard. But she lived independently until age 89, and was loved and respected by many,
Take care of yourself during the grieving process. Hugs!
And that sometimes can be a hard combination for us left behind to deal with. But you did a great job looking after your mom, and in that you should find great peace.
I pray that you will feel God's love, peace and comfort in the days, weeks and months ahead.
I'm both fearing and looking forward to when my Mom says goodbye.
May The Lord give you grieving mercies and comfort during this new season in life.
It sounds like your mom was very blessed with a peaceful passing.