It's not fair not getting paid. I should even though we have an aide helper that comes over, but I do most of the house work. We live in a small house so it's pretty easy. My dad is very very cheap thinking I would do everything. I had to watch mom while he had surgery last weekend our helper had to leave early before surgery him and his brother was living it up while I had to be stuck with mom. I say something I get yelled at. It was very stressful that weekend I should of gotten paid for the whole weekend not even a thank you it's all ways about him. (But last week I did go out shopping) How should I get paid cause I don't have a lot help? I have no help from friends or friends I do everything my self. Very limited going out and do things like I used to I just want to get paid. My dad doesn't realize I gave up a lot. I gave up my life I used to have a job, life friends. If you want to be a caregiver think twice it sucks the life right out of you you have no life cause it's all about them.
+1 you will need to find another job and get a place of your own.
+1 Tothill's well laid out advice.
4 1/2 yrs later. It put a major strain on my relationship with long term Boyfriend who i was living with prior to moving back home. I could never get away to go up to see him. and the sad thing is he passed last Christmas, Anyway back to the point at hand. I have my mom pay me $500 a month. I get free rent but not food. I was forced to get government help for that. It's a very degrading feeling from once having a thriving career a convertible a home to going thru my retirement to selling my car, losing my friends, now i'm lonely, broke and depressed as hell. But I love my mom and I know this is gonna screw me all up once shes gone. But i cant turn my back on her.
So, Its a commitment and there are consequences either way for the choices you will make. So take every thing into consideration and carefully weigh out the pros and cons. Try to find a happy medium.
It sounds like you clean a very small house and you get a place to live and food for that.
I agree with dad, you get enough, if you need money go get a job. Which you should be doing anyway, you will be to old to work before you realize it and you won't have any social security benefits because you didn't work. Not a good position to be in.
More often there is no arrangement to pay relatives who do the care taking for a family member, especially if that family member is living in the home. It is part of being family--when something is needed, you just do it.
Start with counseling. Generally there are free services available in most communities and also through churches.
Carve out time each and every day, where you are away from the house. Use this time for self development, meeting friends, exercise program etc.
Develop some job skills. It is good that you have some pin money coming in from looking after the dog, but that is not a career option. If you do not have much work experience, volunteer to gain some.
How can you work on your own financial future if you are being a free caregiver for your parents? What is their financial situation? There are a lot of years left that they could live, if they are only 67 and 72. What's the plan?
Maybe he'll find out how much care costs. Or not.
But in any event, you will have your life and independence back. And you can visit mom as a loving child, not as a resentful, unpaid drudge.