Feeling good this minute. Slept a good stretch of 5 hrs. Shocking. Hasn't happened in a year or so. Caught an hour and a half, then up, then back asleep. Pressure on my chest seems to have lifted?! 5 days since my Mom passed. 5 days of plethora of emotions. Will miss the good, but not the negativity/criticism. I am free to move forward thru the days supporting my Kids best I can with love & light. I thank God + Universe for this better sleep, last night. I need protection during these times.
Have to largely purge/organize my Parents' home, solo. Some good help but mostly on me to sort. I am fine with this. Gives me something to do. Surely will have emotional moments, but maybe will help toward healing moving forward. Who knows.
Sweet "AlvaDeer" wrote that I could stay on the forum. Loved that. I enjoy reading so many posts & still feel I want to extend <3 & encouragement... And I will appreciate comments should I post re: the months ahead... You know I will ;-)
I tell you; so many of you are Angels & selfless. I did so much but many more are in the thick of it, the trenches.
Happy New Year! You are in my thoughts & prayers.
I'm grateful that you're staying and still want to give understanding, encouragement, advice and plain, simple friendship to a caregiver in pain who needs to vent and talk about it.
E-P-L, I'm grateful to have come across your post today. I didn't see it before. I needed to know that someone understands what we go through and cares. That they always have a kind word or a message of support.
Yesterday my abusive, narcissistic mother was able to crush me with her bullying. That hasn't happened in a long time, but she was successful yesterday. I was up all night in tears because of her and there was no one here for me. I saw your post here this morning.
Thank-you for being here for all of us. We are here for you too.
I love that you are feeling good and looking forward to light moments - it does remind me that there really is life after caregiving.
My mom died in 2018 when I was her live-caregiver for 13 months and was her financial POA before that. Things were so horrific for so many reasons. I was so alone. Then I found this forum and I have no doubt the people here saved my life.
Because of that I think I have of experience and perspective that might help someone else who's struggling. I'll wager you can contribute greatly on this forum. *big hug*
I am sure that your experience will be valuable to those who are still in the throes of caregiving.
As you know, many of us came here desperate and wondering just what was going to happen to our sanity.
We reached out, and the generous support we received made us able to breathe again.
We wondered what in the heck was going on with our Loved Ones, and the precious angels here helped us to recognize what was happening.
Your experiences will surely help newcomers, and the rest of us who are still walking this road.
So sorry for your loss and I went thru pretty much the same feelings you have. That first good nights sleep with no worries of being either woke up by Mom or later a phone call from the facility telling me she fell out of bed at 3am was so nice. And that weight lifting from my body. My Mom was easy to care for it was just having to be there all the time for one person. Being their every thing. Yes, I too had to clean out a 4 bedroom old farmhouse and its out building. I did better on my own with some help from DH. Most of it went to a thrift shop or Church yardsales or trashed. The selling was an Albatross around my neck. It finally sold because the buyer wanted the 7 acres. The old house is gone. Finalizing probate was done by a lawyer as was the accting. Mom only had the house. That also was a big relief when it was when it finally sold.
As you see, there are alot of us where the caring is over for us.
By all means stay, and use your experiences to help others.
For myself, my parents passed 5-6 years ago, my gosh it feels only like last year or so. I know more people here from my generation than I do in person :)
I'm glad you are sleeping better and feeling a bit lighter in general. I had SO much stress before my mother died in February, that the main emotion I felt when she did pass was relief. For her that she was out of pain & suffering, and for myself and my DH that our 10+ years of watching my parents decline had come to an end. They're both at perfect peace now, and we're free to live our retirement years in peace as well, thank God.
Wishing you peace and healing as time goes by, dear Susan.
Love & Peace.
I think I wrote you recently too. I'm hoping you find more inner peace in the coming days, years.
It's still all very recent. I think of many people in need through the year, regardless of it's the turn of a New Year. So you and eat-pray-love are included in this.
Love & Peace.
I remember when I father passed, took me a long time. I coped pretty much alone, at the time, I didn't know about forum's, didn't even think of using something online, plus on top of this, I had to contend with terrible behavior from a sibling on top of the sadness.
I ditto your good sentiments about this forum. I hope you can continue to use this forum for support and help as needed through the coming days, month & years. I know even sharing your experiences as you go through your mom's personal things will help someone else.
Really pleased you had the courage to post soon after your mom passing. If I see more posts of how your are getting on. I'll be sure to reply.
I imagine there will be various emotions brought on by various memories. Bless you, wish you peace in coming days, months...
My mom died on Aug. 28th. It was a kind of difficult Christmas, but I am sleeping better (even though I didn't get midnight panic calls)..just the stress of always being a little on edge was constant.
I'm feeling better, most days, then I will have a bad day and I feel like it's a 3 steps forward 2 steps back kind of healing.
Good thoughts to you.
My mom died back in 2018, I think that there is still a place here for those of us who have wisdom to share from having "been there, done that".