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Is the site navigation once again incredibly slow for anyone else?
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Extremely slow since Sunday night
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goodnight from here :).

and thanks — i’m so glad this website exists. i learn A LOT of practical things. i learn A LOT of emotional advice.

just great.

and amaaazing, all the loving things people do for their LOs.

hug!!!!
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glad: Congratulations on your new home.🏠
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"Never Simple" by Liz Scheier is a first person account of growing up with a mentally ill parent and attempting to manage when dementia is added to that parent's other challenges with facing reality. It's a really good read.
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Barb: That sounds like an interesting read. Must put it in my phone notes.
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hugs from here!! :)

this comment is just to point out something nice that happened :).

today my LO (91) needed to do a procedure at the hospital (it’s standard, but there’s always a small risk).

here i was worrying, silently, while my LO was with the doctor in another room.

all went well!
and i was informed that my LO was singing the whole time! :)

my LO is always in a good mood.

amazing.
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Spent yesterday afternoon watching middle school.baseball. The weather started out nice for March 1, in the low 60s when the game started @4:30 but dropped into the upper 40s before it was over. After spending years taking my mother to these events and then missing them for the last 3 years after Mom couldn't go, it feels strange to be attending again. There is a feeling of grief/guilt/regret that I can attend again because I no longer need to care for Mom. I wonder when that feeling will go away?
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Website is slowing, have to wait to get on this thread to complain.
But then I see others have already mentioned it.
Aw, sad, because I am running out of time at the first of every month.

See you all soon!

Finding recipes online by entering the ingredients is amazing. Dh and I are cooking cooperatively together-and he makes the rice! Last night was Turkey, rice, bell peppers, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, and a sesame dressing sauce cooked in.
Lots of spices to perk up what would have been bland. It was gourmet excellent, one pan. Key was not to over-stir the ingredients together.

Fun at home!
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TNtechie,
Turn the grief/guilt/regret into gratefulness.
When the thought comes on, say to yourself, miss you Mom, wish you were here. I will enjoy this for us both now.

Maybe something like that, using your own words.

I am happy for you that you get to experience those games! I loved seeing my grandchildren play soccer and basketball. And baseball when my son was growing up-All Stars! Those were happy times!

Again, sorry for your loss. 🌹
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I've been in the NH and can offer a couple of observations. I am well treated and receive the care and therapies I need. My dialysis is good. I get weary hearing the people complaining about everything and everyone. The food is okay. But it's extremely boring. I'm used to more. On the upside my stepson and his girls are her visiting for a couple of days. I wouldn't mind if I hadto be here permanently.
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The food at my mom's nursing home was mostly quite good, but the menus were an endless repetition right down to the type of vegetables served with each entree so I can imagine that getting old pretty fast. You have been lucky enough to have family that brings in food Becky, some (most?) don't have that option. And I honestly can't see how my small town NH could cope if anyone ever needs a special menu (vegan, kosher, halal, celiac or gluten intolerance, IBS etc), their meal choices would be whittled down to a handful of items.
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CW, I am lucky with food. My son and granddaughter both love to cook and bring m things.. I'm a diabetic and have CKD so my diet is always somewhat restricted. But the NH is not nearly as bad as some of the hospital food I've had.
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Solar storms and Coronal mass ejections could be responsible for a slowed internet or website.
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LOL!!!!!I

Hunting boxes. I thought I had saved them from the last moves, but gave many/all to DD1 with her last move. My son is coming to help and will pickup what I think I need at HD. Not even boxes, at a reasonable price, in this city.

I have probably packed close to 15 boxes at this point. I feel like there is still lots to go. I have taken eight boxes of books to donate. Two big bags of clothes and shoes to goodwill. So much to do. Will be in my new office in three weeks! Excited to get out of here.

Only two showings on the house so far, that is discouraging. One of them is, supposedly, working on financing.
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:) just wishing us all a great day!! and courage!! :)

for many of us, it’s a very stressful rollercoaster:

emergency/calm/emergency…etc.

(i’m in the lucky calm phase. my LOs are doing well!)
:)

hugs to everyone!
be careful of your own health.

by health i mean many things:
…the food you eat (stress eating)
…social health (more isolated, not spending time with kind, uplifting friends, because all your energy is going into your LOs)
…love health (for example, maybe unconsciously avoiding to fall in love, because again, all your energy is going into your LOs)
…dreams/goals health
…etc.

the side-effects of being altruistic sort of creep up on us. and time passes.

somehow one must be careful:
actively love others and ACTIVELY love yourself too.

hug!!
:)
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The denouement of the Arizona grandfather's trip to NY (wanted 5 year old granddaughter for the day without any "interference" from us--hasn't seen her since she was a baby, will be here with his elderly, frail, wheelchair bound father--what could go wrong, right?) is that he is refusing to see her at all, has cut off all communication with his son and "will let the kid decide when she grows up who was wrong". Lots of blustering about "you'll have to answer to God".

Too sad.
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UHH???

Barb, I've only just caught up with this.

Arizona Gpa is as daft as a brush. Everyone realised that when he proposed that a five year old would be content, nay delighted, to spend her birthday with two old men she doesn't know from Adam, right?

Silly old sod. I don't think you or SIL need have any worries about what the Almighty will have to say about it.
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Ample evidence, if more was needed, that it wasn't a good idea.

Barb- he sounds unwell.
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Golden, CM, I'm starting to wonder about his mental health, as you point out. Such an extreme reaction.

Oh, and I'm told he wrote the kids an email saying that he knows why we all hate him.

It's because he's Catholic.

His argument was a bit deflated when my SIL pointed out that my whole family is Catholic and we get along with THEM just fine.

Sad.
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Who would be the family member to contact about your concerns? His doctor should be informed. Paranoia can be a sign of developing dementia. I think he needs a full geri-psych evaluation, not that that will be easy to arrange in his state of mind. Is he the one responsible for his frail father? If he is, I would be concerned about that too and looking for alternatives. To me it looks like a train wreck waiting to happen. It is sad when aging produces issues which isolate people.

Thanks for updating us.
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Barb,
Parents had best keep a close eye on the kiddos for awhile. Has he come to New York? And now says he doesn't want to see anyone? Something is definitely off.

Such a strange, off-the-wall reaction, he should definitely see a doc for a complete exam.
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Dear Glad; Oy.

You're absolutely right. I just checked with my daughter and indeed, he is coming to NY. DD has alerted the preschool that NO ONE other than the folks on the list are to be allowed to take her.

I am not going to sleep well.
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My nephew's former BIL (first wife's brother and uncle to two of my grand-nephews) has been murdered. He walked a life bordering the drug trade from his early teens; mostly as a user, often as a dealer and in recent years as a meth manufacturer. Over the past couple of years he has had 2-4 month long periods where he "gets clean" then returns to the drug life. His body was found in the home of another meth dealer, mutilated, more than a week after his death. Two lives are over: the 23 year old murderer and his 34 year old victim.
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So sad, TN! I'm so sorry for your family's troubles.
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TN - my deepest sympathies. Addictions are horrible.
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TN, so sorry, very difficult for all involved.
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Barb, may be daughter and family should go cruising with you. The whole scenario is something very suspicious.
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Glad I can always find boxes at the liquor store!! And the wine boxes have dividers in them for glasswear and such.
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Barb: I understand why you wouldn't sleep well. Odd story for sure. Hugs.
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