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Most of the younger ones seem to me to be less about truly being a caregiver and more about the kind of family dynamic where the child has been trained to serve the parent and put aside their own needs and independence. I don't even want to go there.
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How about "editing" those long posts, putting it in our own words might be fun. Or NOT.


We could say:
"In other words, you won't be caught dead changing your Dad's diapers, ever!"

"In other words, when you escaped from home, it was hard enough the first time.
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We could start our own support group of caregivers who have been on here awhile.
I am thinking, yes, to being exclusionary to new OP's, no matter how old.

It could be called: The Wisdum of the Ages
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Cwillie,
Hang on, we will need your advice on techniques how to ambulate to the bathroom without coughing or sneezing.
Some of us are getting older than you.
And even Teepa Snow will be aging out soon enough.
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I agree with CWillie,, sometimes i just have nothing to say to some of these posts,, or at least nothing nice.. LOL. They get sort of boring and repetitive and just.. BLAH. Several are really soap operaish.. is that a word? It is now! Yet I still get on every night around 5 or 6,, in the hopes that something will catch my interest.
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I'm hesitant to respond sometimes because they're so strange.I would like to see the admins take that little bar off at the beginning of the responses that says Most Helpful-Newest-Oldest. Go back to putting the newest post first. I think it may cause someone to miss an answer that may be better for them than what the admins consider the best response. It's exclusionary. And some responses are simply too long winded.
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I only get the most helpful answers listed first when I haven't signed in, and anyone who makes a post has to have signed in to do so. The admins don't pick the best/most helpful answers, that's determined by the number of likes.
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Good to know.
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Why is it when I turn on the kitchen sink water, within seconds I need to make a mad dash to the bathroom? Never fails. Maybe it is mind over matter.
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FF, maybe it's mind over bladder:-)
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I always try not to offend. That's why I often start off with, "In my humble opinion." You can't please everyone across the board.
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Lots and lots of long winded answers. I usually use the KISS principle when posting here.
But
Admins do not determine what is most helpful. The algorithm built into the site counts likes. . Basically it is the number of people that decide to click helpful or like.
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I agree things have changed. I am more cautious about answering as some seem to be attention getters, and some dual posters who, as Alva wrote, have different names but very similar posting styles.

And then there are the posters who have good comments or questions and lots of answers who never come back so you wonder if they were real.

Busy today deconstructing part of my pantry so it can be hauled away. The company I bought my new mattress from does not remove old ones. My mistake. So I have to get someone to take it to the dump and decided I may as well make it worth while as I have other stuff that needs to go. Clearing out drawers, l think I have enough plastic storage containers for 3 households lol.

I bought a new mattress and dishwasher and need a new microwave. Once I get a new one I can get the dump run organized, and the old microwave can go too. Going to feel good getting rid of all that stuff!
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Well at least we are all in agreement here. Maybe we should start a new site. We could name it "Been There. Done That"

I find lately when I read the newer questions that I'm at a complete loss. The questions aren't ever just simple questions but sometimes a whole life story and the OP is never satisfied with the responses they get.
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Golden, I tossed all of my plastic storage containers. I could never find the right top! For health reasons it is recommended to replace them after a few years anyway. They cannot be sanitized.

Gershun, sometimes I think our knowledge of elder care has run out of usefulness. The next generation seems to be more protective of their time and lives. Something that many of us could have done better at; taking care of ourselves.
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Gershun should we call it "Past Caring"?
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Countrymouse yes! I can always count on you with your great wit and insight. 👏
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Glad, protective of their time and possibly a wee bit of selfishness? Just a bit.

The age old debate I guess. I suppose there's a fine line everyone has to draw between caring enough and knowing when to pack her in and let the professionals take over. Always makes for a good debate though.

I wish I knew then what I know now.
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Gershun what are you doing up, isn't it the middle of the night there?
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G, yes, some of that too.I

The way we raised our children was much different than the way out parents raised us. Many of us came from homes where stay-at-home moms were the standard. My dad would not allow my mom to work. She had a college degree and loved her profession of teaching home ec. They divorced over that, and other things I am sure. Mom earned a master's degree to better provide for her three girls. Dad committed suicide weeks after the divorce was final, I as 12.

So I grew up in a home where mom was independent and the bread earner. Now it takes both to be able to afford the things families want. Life is not as simple as when we were young and it is much more expensive.
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Interesting.
My post on this thread got removed.
Until Golden mentioned what I said about a poster who posts under two different names I actually thought that I myself failed to press the "post comment" button. Can't find it on the thread anymore.
Can't find it under my activities.
I certainly must have offended SOMEone by mentioning how "changed" I find the Forum to be. Or it is here somewhere on the thread and I can't find it as I cannot find so much else in life (hee hee).
Perhaps it's my step one on the 12 steps needed to break this addiction of mine.
Out to freqflyer: There's actually a medical reason why we have to pee so bad when water runs and when we are nearing being close to the bathroom when we did a whole shopping trip needing to go, but not urgently. Has to do with the two systems responsible for the release of urine. Our bodies are somewhat miraculous.
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For Freqflyer and others wondering about "urge incontinence".

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fphys.2020.00658/full

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fphys.2020.00658/full
It's a brain thing. Gets worse with age, brain changes. But it is the same reason we can shop for 1/2 hour having to pee, but when we are coming up the steps to our own home the urge is almost unbearable. If we can just STOP THINKING how close we are to a bathroom we can sometimes beat back this urge. But, if not....................
It is an interesting phenomenon how close we are, and how much closer as we age, to not being able to wait until, as the article says, we are somewhere where it's socially acceptable to go.
Nurses know, after childbirth, other surgeries, it is often difficult for a patient to "go", so the often run water, or have them place wrists in warm water. Difficult to relax enough after removal of a catheter as well, so deep breath in and let it out out out all the way, sometimes helps. Tricks of the trade.
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I've sometimes thought I lost a post but usually when I click my activity tab it is still there, just not where I thought it was.
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The mind over matter thing about the need to pee is true, if I start to worry about having had that large coffee before my walk I definitely feel as though I have to go before I get home. But if I can distract myself and think of something else I can make the urge go away (sometimes🤣)
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cwillie, I went straight to activity. Not there. It was at that point I thought I forgot to post, pressed too lightly, whatever. It was not until I read Golden's post today and realized that she saw it that I know it was not posted. You were mentioned. I said I agreed with how you felt about changes in Forum.
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I've never been able to figure out why they remove some posts yet leave others that (in my mind at least) are clearly over the line and even against stated policy. I guess you can say pretty much anything as long as there isn't any implied criticism of AgingCare.
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How can you post under two different names? I thought most forums only allowed one poster from one IP address. And who has that much time on their hands?
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Besides staying alive, dialysis has a big benefit, you rarely if ever have to go pee.
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Chillier, the agingcare mods could be so much more unreasonable on forum, but they’ve set it up for self help, not just for families won’t to avail themselves of Karen the advisor to your right who probably helps as much as the friendly realtors.
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When I posted My favorite things: The movie 'You've Got Mail',
the movie quotes were deleted, even though they were not exact quotes.

Now my feelings are hurt.
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