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Becky: home sweet home! 😊
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Home sweet home got me thinking.. sometimes we have to assess what & where that sweet home should be. Does it still suit & soothe us?

Met an adventurous older lady today. Said she left for a holiday a few years ago... Left her hot, dry, boring state of abode, found a place with mountains, beaches, rivers. She loved it so much she just never went back!

Sigh.. maybe sometimes being wildly impulsive instead of always being sensible & practical pays off?

I too am happy to be merely at home today 😊. But I AM on the lookout for that magic mountain, beach, river land!
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Having traveled much of the USA during my working career, I truly believe I live in one of the most beautiful spots in our land: mountains and hills with dense forest areas and the cleanest lake in the country. I often enjoy the scenery just driving back home. Myrtle Beach and Charleston are just a few hours away for beach vacations. There are places I still hope to visit: the Arizona memorial and the Grand Canyon are on my list. But the people are the strongest bonds I have to this place. There are younger family members I can still help (mostly in minor ways) and now my foster sons. Travel during the school year is difficult (except for short trips) and even the summer is challenging around camps and football practices. I recently built a camp on some lake property with my nephew because we can usually get there, even after Friday night games. I have a trip to Pidgeon Forge planned for fall break: staying in a hotel with indoor swimming pool and visiting attractions like NASCAR go-carts and magic shows. I have lived here all my life (with work residencies in Knoxville, Charlotte, DC, Macon, Philadelphia, New York, Chicago, Tampa, and St Louis) and I am quite happy to know I will most likely live the rest of my life here too. My adventure is living.
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Hi, How to you learn to let go when you father 88, is totally vile to you, I know tomorrow is a different day and he will hopefully be better, but when he attacks me verbally like this it tears me apart, thanks Lynne x
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Lynne, my father with vascular dementia was also vile to me. I was able to see most of his rantings as his disease talking and not really "my dad". The rantings were still disturbing, but they came to lack the pain I experienced previously. I hope you can gain a similar prospective.
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Does anyone know whatever happened to Ahmijoy? Is she OK?
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Cwillie I often wonder about past members,, many of who's name I cant remember.
Except for Captain of course! The lady from probably Guam who worked at a travel agents and took care of her dad.. with the family in the US. And the lady who lost her hubs right after she moved to Maryland near her DD who was a vet. And the lady with the very, very long posts who took care of her mother until her moms death. I think it's likely that no family thinks to to update us when something happens. Or they just go on with thier lives! As they should
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Bookluvr, I think about her too! She seemed to be doing OK after her caregiving ended, it seemed as though the family was doing right by her (at least she wasn't homeless).
Are you thinking of Veronica?
And the originator of the very popular What's for Dinner thread (BoniChak) is another one who had health problems and then disappeared. I do get that people move on but you can't help but imagine the worst.
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cwillie it was Book,, and Captains son's murder has still not been solved! and yes it was Veronica! You have a better memory than I do~
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Veronica's husband died I think and she was having her own health concerns after that.

Remember Sharadale from Florida? I think it was sharadale? I used to talk to her a lot. And Stacey who had her F I L living with her. I think she and her husband went into assisted living just before she stopped posting.

I wish the admin. could make arrangements so that they could e-mail past members and then let us know. But I guess that might be considered an invasion of privacy.
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Windyridge was another I liked a lot. He used to say amusing things.
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Actually if you go into search on here and type in names of people who used to post their posts come up and then you can scroll down and see other names of old members.

I just did that with Sharadale's name and scrolled down and saw other names from the past.
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I so appreciate those who've been friends and supportive here and shared their wisdom and journeys in caregiving. Veronica was kind to me. Most everyone is a kind soul around here, but she reached out to me a few times when she read I was floundering. Stuff like that makes you remember someone forever in a special way. 💙

CW, I also get concerned when someone reports they have a new Dx or are ill, and then they stop posting completely soon after.

There is another one whose name I can't come up with, who was here every day. She was hands-on daily caring for her mom for years, a funny and sweet person, and then she reported her own illness, and very soon after, she stopped posting -- leaves you with a somber feeling.

*I pulled up "the caregiving... how are YOU doing" and the "grossed out need to vent" threads. I'll take a trip down memory lane. 💜
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JessieBelle. That's the username I was trying to come up with.

There have been many who went from posting daily/regularly to suddenly stopping or slowly drifting away. I wish all the previous "regulars" the very best, always. ❤️️🧡💛💚💙💜
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People come and go. I am happy to be here sharing time and thoughts with those of you who I came/come/will come in contact with.

🎵🎵🎵🎵 To all the caregivers I've met
Who travelled in and out of AC
I'm glad you came along
I dedicate this song
To all the caregivers I've met

To all the caregivers I've met
And may I say you're the best
For helping me to grow
I owe a lot I know
To all the caregivers I've met

The winds of change are always blowing
And every time I try to stay
The winds of change continue blowing
And they just carry me away
🎵🎵🎵🎵
(Thank you Julio Iglesia for the beautiful lyrics)
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(((((GROUP HUG!!))))) 😁 Seriously, where would I be without this forum..? Thank you for sharing and caring. I'll stop gushing now.

While here, I'll share that I finished my B.S. with a 4.0. Who knew I was capable of that? I had no clue, but then it kept happening, class after class, all A's. I think my profs are easy graders or grade on a curve, though I did work hard and submitted everything according to the rubrics. I received full points on both final projects/papers. It's given me confidence in my academic ability, and I've never had that. I had the highest SATs in my H.S. graduating class but was in the bottom 50% in grades. My college transcripts from the '90s show a lot of Withdrawals. I didn't know how to do the work.

Caregiving took an immense toll on me, but I think it also made me more driven once I could get my head above water. Who knows. I'm just happy to be at this place in my life. And this forum played a big part in my getting here. Thank you.
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Congrats Ali! Your professors are not easy markers. Don't belittle yourself. You did great. End of story.
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Ali, wonderful! You did a great job! My first college years out of high school were just plain, well a waste. Some of us just need to experience more of life before we can develop the determination and fortitude to complete a college degree and do it well, as you did. I did too, once I made up my mind to get it done.
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I still see windyridge, though very infrequently.

StaceyB and hubs moved to a 55+ manufactured home community and were living it last I knew.

I still think of Hope. She took a beating from some here shortly before her mom passed over tooth extractions! I felt so badly for her.

Who was it that lived in NO, daughter moved to Denver at the start of covid. Then all of the sudden she was gone.

Another one, had to start a positive thread. "What's for Dinner" BoniChak.

I wish there was a way to look at our very old posts. We would see how far we have come. After all I have been here about ten years.

Always remember we have no idea what people are going through and it you can't say something nice and supportive, just walk away.

Guam was bookluvr

Ahmijoy had another username, something about big mom or something? Can't remember exactly what it was.
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Ali: Congratulations on your stellar achievement of a 4.0 GPA! That's spectacular!💚
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glad: The poster from New Orleans, LA was NotGoodEnough (I think). I believe that her DH had health problems. One of her daughtets did move to Denver. I, too, wish there was a way to reach these people before they go silent. What about NobodyGetsIt? She lived in AZ. I agree, glad, about saying something supportive. Those in active caregiving may be on their last ounce of stamina.
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Lynnegf: I sent you a private message.
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It was NeedHelpWithMom. Her husband got cancer and was receiving treatments. Her daughter got COVID. That was the last I heard from her. She used to post a lot. and replied to almost everyone’s post.
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PB: Yes - my error. You are correct. It was NeedHelpWithMom. Thank you for the correction.
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I miss NeedHelpWithMom :(

There was another big storm in New Orleans just before she disappeared from the forum. I assumed she had family priorities - always hoped she & hers were OK.
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That's right NHWM. Thanks Beatty.
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Hi all. I’m still kicking. Both my parents have passed now. I had moved dad to a nursing home in northern Michigan near me right before covid hit and had a few good months with him before he died. Brother and sis died a few years ago so I’m the last survivor of our family. They’re all buried together in WV

I rarely post these days but I do check the site every now and then just to see how folks are doing. Good to see many of my old friends still doing well.

My wife and I are doing fine, still have the horses and now a crazy puppy that keeps us on our toes. I’m the Senior Vice President in charge of horse poop management, dog park clean up and barn maintenance. Pretty low stress gig. Not much money in it but I’m allowed to sleep in the house and the food ain’t bad.
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Dorker was the Florida poster. PamStegma from upstate NY. Ferris from Arizona who was both a nurse and a social worker. And Jeanne Gibbs from Minnesota, who recently had a stroke. I'm in touch with one of her dilemma on FB.
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Jessebelles posts used to crack me up. I miss her posts
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It's fun conversing with people from different places and learning about their life beyond caregiving. JesseBelle is the one who taught me about Southern "meat and three" restaurants - I'm still jealous that we don't have that here!
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