Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
Some days we walk tall, some days we sit, quietly, or
curl into a ball.
If today is a curling day, just curl.
The walking days will come again.
I will be so relieved to be at the end of this living out of a suitcase phase! It doesn't matter where I am I wake up wondering where I am, what do I have to do today, what freaking day is this? To make matters worse my weekly schedule of being remote is a bit different this week. 👽👽👻👻😏😏😏😏
October 31st, 2022 is a Monday.
It is Halloween.
And escrow will be closing.
No matter what bed you wake up in, no matter where you are, you always have us on AgingCare.
If I change my bed around, now, at my age, I have experienced needing to re-acclimate myself to my surroundings. So I put my bed back.
Write yourself a sticky note before bed. You just have way too much going on, so some confusion is normal. And you were recently home sick? Do you need to replace some vitamins, like B-12, magnesium, vit. D?
Take good care of yourself. When was the last time you had a visit from your adult children?
The full moon effects are ending today, a Monday, the 10th of October. A holiday in the USA-Columbus Day-and Indigenious Peoples Day-banks could be closed?
Everyone, let's have some tea in the afternoon. How about 2 p.m.?
My daughter is.coming this next weekend. Then my son, again, I think my last weekend here. He has been a great help this weekend, I am actually feeling somewhat organized for the move. Still a long way to go, but getting a handle on it. I can't wait for the same bed in the same place, my place, every night!
Funny! I closed on this house on October 31 four years ago.
Because it's a federal holiday, agencies or institutions operated by the government, such as libraries, federal offices, and DMVs, are all closed. But how can you check if stores in your area will be open on the national holiday?
Here is what you need to know about what is open and closed on Columbus Day & the new federal holiday, Indigenous Peoples' Day.
Will post offices be open? What about FedEx, UPS?
Post offices will be closed on Monday, and the U.S. Postal Service will not deliver mail or packages.
FedEx offices, on the other hand, will be fully operational with ground, delivery and express all same as usual. The only modification modified service for FedEx ground economy. UPS store locations will also be all open, offering pickup or delivery services.
Will banks be open?
Many, but not all banks will be closed on Oct. 10th, and ATMs and bank mobile apps may be available for some services. Federal Reserve Banks will also be closed on Monday.
Will schools be open?
Many public and private schools are closed but if you’re curious about your child’s school, check their individual school calendars on their websites.
Will stock market be open?
The New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) and Nasdaq are open.
Will grocery stores and pharmacies be open? What about Target, Starbucks and other chains?
While locally owned businesses are up to the owner, supermarkets and most drug stores are open.
Same goes for Target, Starbucks and other chain restaurants.
National parks are also open.
It is a holiday in Canada-their Thanksgiving Day.
My sister has already sent out her Christmas invitation and I immediately feel my self tense up. It will be three years this Christmas since I've seen anyone in my family, partly due to covid, but I still don't want to see them.
I consider myself a Christian woman and so I know I should try to meet people half way but I just don't want to even try with my family anymore. I wish them the best and all that but feel I'm better staying away from them. But the way I feel inside because of this is awful. I feel like I'm in the wrong.
How does one shake off these feelings? How can I still consider myself a good person and still have all this resentment inside of me? How can I be around people who I feel have done me wrong and pretend that it's all okay? Especially when if you were to ask them they'd say I was crazy and overly sensitive for feeling this way. How can I be right with God while having these harsh feelings towards others?
I think you have to mourn the relationships you thought you had or wanted to have; then decide what YOU are willing to do for the relationships being offered. Fill your time with people who are worth the effort.
I really do not miss the family much when I am hosting the people in my community who have been left behind: the elderly couple who kids moved away and just cannot get back for the holidays, the widower who has no close family left, and as many of the kids as can come around the arrangements made necessary be divorces. Being together with the people who want to be there makes a fun day without all the tension.
It really does require 1 person to be the instigator or leader on the family togetherness front.
And I'm more than willing to host family events but since I live a little off the beaten track my efforts have been met as if I live in Siberia... I'm just the old auntie after all and when the kids need to travel to visit family they are heading to their parents, not me.
My attitude and mood has changed, and you will never find me sitting at a table with everyone's face in their cell phones.
I think it's me, not everyone else.
I welcome the loneliness, after working out the alternatives in my head.
I don't need to be exposed to the tension in the room anymore.
And I sure cannot help clean-up after.
She has fallen many times, and was hospitalized recently for possible heat stroke. But she's made up her mind, she's not budging. She is mentally sharp as a tack so she gets the call the shot till the end.
This whole thing reminds me of a former forum member Elaine and her mom and how the mom met her end. Like my elderly friend, she also refused to leave her hoard packed home and ended up falling and not be discovered for days, then died in the hospital days later. I know my elderly friend knows this risk and she chooses it by staying in her home. As much as I worry for her, I will respect her choice.
Oh, and the copious amount of alcohol that my family consumes. Probably the only way we tolerate each other. I personally nurse a glass of wine all night. And that brings up another thing with my family. The "let's get (fill in name) drunk." I've never understood the appeal of deliberating trying to get someone drunk. Not to mention letting said person get behind the wheel of a car after you've "gotten them drunk" Another form of ridiculing someone. My family has always enjoyed that.
I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they've changed. But I'm still waiting. Hasn't happened yet. Maybe this year?
She decided one year to book a cheap package holiday. Cheap because while it was a lovely tropical place at other times, December had awful humidity & hardly any tourists or activities - but she enjoyed her alone time (safe from family & ex-family). The next year her adult kid wanted to come & a new tradition was born.
Send, clean-up at our events now come with risk of incontinence care clean-ups.
I am also weighing things up - if the past fond memories + FOG outweigh the known + potential problems.
What scenario would be the least worst.. 🤯
The older I get the less easy it is for me to handle toxic people. So maybe people aren't getting worse, I'm just less tolerant. So I suppose that's on me.
How about my sister's fav tactic *the stall* : That date looks good at the moment - I'll let you know if anything de-rails us.
A 'soft' commitment while you file it under *later* for a week or two. Give yourself time for your boundaries to message you.
🙃
I think being less tolerant of toxic people is healthy, Setting boundaries with toxic people is healthy. Who on earth wants to go to dinner with people who put them down - again and again and again. Your sister who stays apart may be onto something. Maybe she doesn't enjoy those get togethers either and has established the necessary boundaries.
My mother wanted me and my sister to keep in touch. Well, it not happening. My sister is toxic to me and I have had enough of that for a lifetime.
Something I read recently in a devotional by Lysa Terkeurst.
"Love can be unconditional … but relational access never should be. And boundaries help us protect this. Boundaries help us keep ourselves together so we can be the people God has called us to be."
We need to set our relational access as appropriate to the behaviours of others. You don't have to go anywhere where you are made to feel uncomfortable. You have established that with your husband's family. You can set the same boundaries with your own family. There's nothing wrong with that. God says "Guard your heart".
Further quote by Lysa T
"We aren’t trying to protect ourselves FROM love. If we love, we will risk being hurt. But we are trying to protect ourselves FOR love. We don’t want to get so consumed with the pain and chaos of unhealthy relationship patterns that we become a carrier of human hurt rather than a conduit of God’s love."
All these many years, I just now realized....
It's Puss In Boots,
Not Puss and Boots!
The last time I invited my sister, she said "I will pencil you in".
Ha ha ha, the very last time, ever!
The best answer could be: "We've made other plans".
I grapple with these feelings on an almost daily basis. It isn't just with my family either. My in-law's are impossible too. Everything is always on their terms. I learned this very early and avoid them.