Countrymouse Posted November 2018
On My Mind
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Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
I had a feeling it was going to be preemptively shut down, after the recent rhymes-with-moles unpleasantness.
you’re doing more than enough, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
don’t let others influence your emotions.
be like a tree, let the dead leaves drop.
do more of what you love.
🙂🙂
I've never had anyone get upset before when I've looked at their previous posts. Do you guys thinks that's something one shouldn't do?
We should look at a person's profile to better help that person. If their profile is set at private, entering their screen name into the search icon is a good idea so we can view their previous posts.
I just would not tell them, especially a new poster. And I would stop posting to someone who appears to be a bit wonky from the get-go.
Still, we are all challenged more now to protect ourselves from insincere posters and those who just want to get mad at us.
This is a public social media platform, correct?
People often mistake kindness for weakness, and choose you to get mad at for some reason.
Maybe they think you are a safe person to criticize because you show no malice when you post real, thought out answers.
Or maybe because you are often the first to post an answer or a query of the new poster, giving them the benefit of the doubt.
I am glad that you are still here, helping others.
Why do posters have to take on new usernames? I think it is very deceptive and dishonest especially when so many tragedies and unfortunate events seem to befall them, so many, it is completely unbelievable. I, for one, am completely appalled and sickened by it! And it has been going on for years.
slowly climbing my way back up from problems here. this means, i'll continue to be gone from the internet. wishing us all a great thanksgiving soon! :)
Beyond that, I now try to tolerate them instead of exposing their lies. Even though that person still comes after me with harsh criticisms, tolerance is not my strong suit.
This is not a happy topic, but I understand how frustrated we all feel at the betrayal and deceit.
Letting it go.
And I had notified several forum members of my name change. My old profile is still up and my old comments can be seen. They are not deleted when you close your account. Closing your account makes it impossible to post, receive messages, etc.
I am a 66 year old female living in Maine and sometimes for extended periods in WV. I have a variety of serious health problems. I am on dialysis, peripheral artery disease, other cardiac issues, multiple falls resulting in being in a wheelchair and a long time type 1 insulin-dependent diabetic. I am a widow.
I have a shortened life expectancy. On the upside. I have a large caring family who help me greatly.
You know, you're exactly right. Personally, I don't like using multiple names, but people do for other reasons besides trolling and looking for trouble. You clearly state valid reasons for a screename change.
Me, I started out as BurntCaregiver and that's the only handle I'll ever use on this forum.
For the most part you can pretty much tell by the writing style who's who and if they're serious or just out for a bit of trolling.
I will always call these people out. This forum is a good group and a valuable resource for people that are actual caregivers. It's not for bored, lonely, mentally ill, or just no good jack-o**s who have nothing better to do with their time other than try to get a rise out of people or tear down the people on this site who truly can offer support because they're going through the same things or have a wealth of experience in it (been there, done that).
PrettyWitty was here before under a different name. I remember what it was though. I recognize the writing style. That style is contemporary troll.
Not all of us get along all the time and we don’t have to reply to those we don’t like. But taking time to send PMs to accuse and attack is very troubling.
As to our getting PM messages? I was told recently that someone on our Forum received emails claiming that I claimed this or said that or some such, and trying to cause division between us, and this person assured me that she has no beef with me. I so appreciated that.
I will not discuss other people with anyone who PMs me. EVER. If anyone asked anything of me I would tell them to go to the source they are asking information about. If someone told me someone said this or that about me A) I couldn't care less and don't need to know that and B) I wouldn't trust someone who spred gossip to me.
So just saying. If someone writes you and claims "Alva said this or that about you" or "Alva told me blah and blah, "I would ask that you come to me personally so I can reassure you that I almost certainly said nothing whatsoever about you. I think we should ALL fact check when we hear what sounds like gossip and nonsense.
As to names, I honestly don't care. Good advice is good advice and I don't care about the name used to give it. I feel the same about BAD advice--no matter what the name is, it is bad advice.
I DO appreciate if a user comes back just knowing they didn't disappear altogether as that always makes me sad and there are many that I still miss. The Captain and Ahmijoy come to mind. Haven't seen WindyRidge in a month of Sundays. Many more. Not to say I don't like a lot of our new members, because I DO.
from the "contact us" form at the bottom of the page.
They just take care of it, and no need to write back.
I have seen posts attacking me and removed by the admins almost immediately at times. I am not special, I just have followed their directions.
Discussing it here feels like gossip. It does not do anyone any good, and continues to divide caregivers. Take it up with the admins is my advice.
There is an internet thing called spoofing screen names. The screen name can look like (for example): Sendhelp. But in fact can say (for example): Sendhelp82. [Not saying that a possible hacker has done this to my account],
but spoofing is a real thing. Just be aware. I don't know what can be done about it except to report it to the admins. The admins are the only ones with the ability to discover who is trying to disrupt the forum here.
Be calm, Carry on everyone. Your time is invaluable, so use it to help others.
No one has as rich a resource as a caregiver who has experienced caring for someone. Don't allow a very few malcontents distract you from your goals.
I have just bought online a kitchen pedal bin, a dispensing pack of liners for it, and an underlay for my ironing board cover. I can hardly wait for their delivery.
I think those algorithms have a very strange idea of fun.
oooh! living the dream!!!
When I first came on the forum, I asked advice about (1) which recliner to buy. And (2) ways to help my elderly uncle cook (he loves cooking and is amazing at it. Whatever you’re imagining, it’s even tastier than that). Many of you gave me great advice. I wanted to update my original post, but it’s been closed, since a lot of time passed.
So I’ll update here. Things are going well:
(1) The recliner is great. My uncle uses it all the time. He especially likes getting massages while lying almost horizontal.
(2) I changed caregivers in January, and they’re very willing to follow my uncle’s cooking instructions. So now he gets to eat his favorite dishes, scrumptious, nutritious. The caregivers eat with him too.
I can only speak for myself. I was brought up in a dysfunctional family where deceit, gaslighting, and outright lies were part of the fabric of the family. It was not a safe place. Because of those experiences I am perhaps particularly sensitive to people who deceive, who lie and I want to have nothing to do with them. That deceit and misrepresentation are tolerated here and practiced regularly makes this not as safe a place for me as it would be otherwise.
However, this forum is not unique is tolerating duplicity. It exists throughout society. I wonder about the problems. the insecurities, the experiences of people who need to lie about themselves. Why not be open and share who you are? Most of us do and know we are imperfect people and, for the most part, are Ok with ourselves and one another. I find it sad that anyone has to hide behind a fantasy rather than have honest interaction with other people, for the fantasy and the lies serve as a barrier to what everyone really needs - connection with others.