On My Mind

cw,

Are they expecting you to be there at church or is it a more casual arrangement?

I enjoy sewing but haven’t made any quilts. My dad’s mom made them. My mom occasionally did too. Quilts are so beautiful.

I am sure they will understand if you miss it.

Taking a taxi or Uber works if you really want to go to church.

Being in a walkable area helps a lot.

Nah, it's just whoever shows up. There are a couple of women that bring their sewing machines and a few more of us that cut the fabric and do the ironing. It would not be worth the effort if we didn't have a huge stash of donated material, but it appeals to me because it's about doing instead of praying.

The thing is, if there is access to a vehicle, it can sit for 2 weeks without a concern.
The minute you cannot use it, there could be panic and early onset of cabin fever.

cw,

I have donated remnants of fabric and thread to churches for quilting. Donations help enormously.

I have two sewing machines. Mine. a newer modern machine, which I use from time to time and my grandmother’s which is the one that I learned on. She bought it from a door to door salesman! LOL

It used to be a ‘knee’ pedal operated machine but my mother converted it to the ‘foot’ pedal. Mom was very handy and could fix a lot of things. She hated if my dad asked my uncle to fix something. Oh my gosh, he meant well but things would end up backwards. I remember the light switches going in the opposite direction and so on.

My brother has my mom’s machine and he uses it occasionally for hemming things.

My daughters don’t have an interest in sewing. I think I will donate my machine at some point in time.

I don’t know if anyone would be interested in grandma’s machine. I don’t think they have any monetary value. Maybe a museum or antique shop, or possibly my neighborhood thrift shop.

I have my grandmother's "manual" sewing machine (you pump with your foot to supply power - a real antique) and my mother's phaff machine, a 70 year old electric machine that does everything including lots of embroidery stitching. Mom used to make drapes on it but the layers of heavy material messed up the stitching adjustments so I started buying the new drapes when I began working about 40 years ago. I'm not a big sewer like Mom and Grandma were but they made sure I know how and I still "amaze" the younger generation by adding some embroidery or a button hole or even an extra strip of elastic to a waistband. Grandma's machine is in my living room with a sheet of plexiglass across the top and serves as a entry table until I show it off (it still works). When I move out of this house, I plan to donate them to the local college's museum of Appalachia along with some articles made and modified with them. My grandfather was a mason and Grandma always took fabric from the back legs of older pants and sewed it onto the front of his work pants, making a double layer where he would lay bricks or blocks across his legs to "cut" them with a trowel.

TN,

What a cool story! I think you should donate it because it is in it’s original condition. That is fabulous!

My grandmother’s machine is not in the original condition. It does work though. They were stylish looking machines.

I have always thought the old decorative cash registers were beautiful! Of course none of the beautiful artistic pieces are practical to use now.

What about the fancy telephones from long ago? Children have to go to museums or look at photos of old pieces because everyone uses cell phones today!

Do you remember when you wore your first watch? I loved mine! I never wear a watch now. I look at my cell for the time.

When my grandmother died I wanted her treadle sewing machine because she had taught me to sew on it, but it was decided that the fairest option was to put everything up for auction and let everyone buy what they wanted - that wasn't very fair to those of us who were the youngest and least able to afford anything. Just as well I suppose, it would only have been another heirloom I have no place for.

And sorry Techie but I'm coming back to be pedantic, I can't help myself. Its Pfaff

cw,

It’s the memories that are attached to those pieces that make them so special. That wasn’t a fair way to divide things.

Grandma asked me if I wanted her machine. I said yes and I did use it for a long time.

I still have her ‘how to’ crochet and knitting books too. She crocheted and knitted beautifully. I have tablecloths, doilies and bedspreads that she made.

Grandma was German and she knitted in the German method. She taught my mom to knit that way too. Mom taught me but I forgot how.

Mom made beautiful baby items. I have some that she made for my daughters.

My MIL did all these things too, plus beautiful embroidery and cross stitching. Her mom did too. Her mom did tatting and smocking.

Not as many people do these things now. Some do. I hope it will continue.

What is the most unusual item that you saw or purchased in an antique store?

I learned to sew on my mother's treadle Singer. They were pretty amazing machines Mother sewed all kind of things on it including a woolen tailored suit for herself which looked like it came from a fashion house. I kept the machine oiled and working. She did smocking too. When we were young we had smocked dresses she had made. Mother knit up into her late 80s making Norwegian style sweatwers with silver buttons, and wonderful warm colourful long scarves. Dd has inherited these skills and also embroiders beautifully, but she hasn't for a few years. I used to sew quite a few of my own clothes when I was young and knit, embroider and crochet too, but not for quite a while. I am bringing my collection of crochet hooks with me, and still thinking about the knitting needles. I used to do baby blankets and shawls etc and give them to the thrift shop for something new for babies whose mothers shopped there.

Yes, it is Pfaff! ;)

I learned to sew when in the 5th grade on my Mom's circa, probably about 1940's Pfaff, not a treadle but very antique looking. I sewed nearly everything I wore through junior high and high school. Then lots for a my daughters when they were in elementary school. By junior high, they were much too cool to wear something mom made other than homecoming/prom dresses in high school. Mom taught me how to knit when I was in the hospital for a few days when in about 2nd grade. But, mom wasn't a knitter, my grandma was! Beautiful sweaters. I never knit much of anything other than hot pads that weren't very effective. I have embroidered samplers and smocked a couple of dresses for my girls when they were young.

Now trying to figure out what to do with about 50 bolts of wool fabric, about 70 yards each to continue with my mom's business that exploded in about 1995. Beautiful fabrics! And I probably have a couple hundred cones of yarn that were used for sewing garments together! Any ideas, anyone?

NHWM, I now own three watches I almost never wear because I have clocks available on phone, computer, kindle, microwave, stove, etc. The first is a timex I purchased for myself but traded to Mom after she had her hip replacement surgery because she could read my watch without her glasses. The second is her watch I started wearing and the third is one of my Dad's watches he gave me when he purchased his last gold wrist watch. My dad was a small man and I have large hands so my wrist is almost the same size as Dad's. They sit in my jewellery box until I go to court; since cell phones are not allowed, the watch is useful again!

Need: Back in the day, DD and I purchased a huge 8 foot tall stuffed flamingo for my sister in law. Got a discount, too, from the antique shop owner. DD kept in the stairway of her townhouse. It was huge!

Llama,

Wow! Do you know the history of the flamingo?

I love watching Antiques Roadshow. The stories behind the items are so interesting.

I love when they interview people who have gone to a garage sale or a thrift shop and bought a painting that ends up being worth thousands of dollars.

Some people truly don’t know the value of items that they have stored in their attics, basements or closets.

Need: No, there was no history of the flamingo. We were surprised to find it! My SIL loves flamingos. I like AR as well and the interesting stories contained therein.

I sewed all of my clothing and DD's clothing when I was age 17 to 27. Also made my homegoods, did crewel work, embroidery, cross stitch and others. I have just located a piece that was stored in my attic which was unfinished and I am picking it back up again. My grandmother was my muse.

I think my 5 HTP supplement is CAUSING insomnia 🤔

Cwillie, I seriously thought your comment was on the jokes thread when I saw it on my news feed. LOL.

llama - great stuff. Love crewel. What a good idea to continue the work you found. Some years ago I found an unfinished tablecloth I was working on with Richelieu embroidery (cutwork) but never got back into it. My eyes weren't up to it. I did a couple of trapunto pieces. I think that's my favourite.

cw - sometimes these things can backfire. Have you or anyone else tried Passionflower? I had my first cup of passion flower tea last night. I always wake up after 3-5 hours sleep and have trouble getting back to sleep. I had about 1/2 a cup before I slept, woke up after about 4 hrs sleep as usual and drank the rest and was awake for a while, but then I could feel the sedative effects and went back to sleep heavily for another 5 hrs. That was more than I have slept in a long time. There is some research on it's benefits for anxiety and insomnia. I hope it continues to work. It doesn't taste great but you can get capsules.

Aging is such a double edged sword. I mean, it beats the alternative all out but, when you start losing yourself it is so very sad.

I use to say that I wanted, if I had to, go out like my grandmother, she was no longer home, like her soul left and her body didn't die and didn't know anything that was happening. My grandfather on the other hand, knew everything up until he closed his eyes for the final time, every surgery, every ailment, every fall, etc. I thought that was so scary and he must be very scared.

My 91 year old precious friend of many decades is losing her mind and she knows it. She doesn't say she is scared, she calls herself dumb and that just breaks my heart. She is not dumb in any sense of the word. She can't find words and memories are changing for her, the 1st makes her mad and she says she's dumb, the second never even hits her radar.

I guess I am just feeling very sad after spending the day with her and seeing so much decline. I see her often, I know she is being checked for UTIs and this is her brain, I hate that she calls herself dumb because I know where it comes from and I wonder if she is mentally back dealing with the abuse she suffered as a young lady. I always knew (believed) she would go out of this world knowing how strong, smart, capable, inspiring and loving she is and that seems like it isn't going to happen and that is so sad. I pray she doesn't decend into that reality entirely before The Lord takes her home.

I wish I was joking ITRR.

Golden - I tried a very small morning dose of 5HTP a couple of years ago and thought my mood was brighter, but for some reason I couldn't find any low dose tablets this year so I went with a 200 mg extended release one once a day. I'm finally figuring out that when I take it I'm lucky to log 4 or 5 hours of sleep, crashing with 8 or 9 hours if I don't. Yeah, my mood is pretty shitty after poor sleep too 🙄

Isthisreallyreal,

My dream of dying would be to drift off in my sleep.

I know what you are talking about when someone you love feels like they are dumb. Your story instantly brought back memories of my father. I was very close to my dad.

My father had heart surgery and he came through it okay but while he was recovering from surgery in the hospital he had a stroke.

He went from the hospital to rehab in a skilled nursing facility and then back to his home.

He needed speech therapy and since my mom couldn’t drive due to seizures and Parkinson’s disease, I drove him there and back home. He had to go three times a week. He and mom appreciated that I offered to help them.

One time on the way back to his house he asked me to stop by the store to get my mom a gallon of paint. I was puzzled. I said, “Paint? What kind of paint? What is mom painting?”

I called mom to figure out what daddy was talking about. My mom said, “No, I don’t need any paint. I told your father that I needed a gallon of milk.”

So, when I hung up the phone I told daddy that mom didn’t need paint but she needs us to stop and pick up a gallon of milk. Well, daddy says to me, “I’m stupid.” I had to hold back my tears while I was driving. I told him, “Daddy, you’re not stupid. You are mixing up your words because you had a stroke. It has affected your speech.”

I am sorry that your friend is struggling and I know that it hurts to see this occurring in her life.

My father improved some after his stroke but he was never quite the same man. He died many years before my mom did.

It broke my heart that my mom always blamed herself for his death. She said that she should have told him not to have heart surgery. I reminded her that daddy’s heart surgeon said that if he didn’t have the surgery that he would surely die.

It was shocking to mom that he had a stroke so soon after his heart surgery. I told her that having a stroke is one of the risks of surgery and that daddy knew the risks and opted to have surgery anyway because he definitely would have died without the surgery.

They were married over 50 years. She missed him terribly but managed to work through her grief.

I have a friend that lost her husband in 2009 and she is still wallowing in grief. It’s very sad. I have suggested therapy so many times but her answer is always the same, “They can’t do anything for me.” So I stopped telling her anything because she has proven that she isn’t interested in going.

My friend is troubled by more than grief. She had a tough life in her younger years. One thing that is bothersome is that whenever I mention a good memory that I had with my dad, she continuously says, “You were lucky. My dad died in a fire going back inside my house to get my doll because I was crying for it.”

She was only five years old when her house burned down. Of course, it’s tragic and I have told her repeatedly how sorry I am that she lost her dad so tragically, but I don’t know how to respond to her saying, “You were so lucky.” over and over, so I stopped sharing happy memories of my dad with her because it makes her sad and her comments make me feel guilty that I had my dad when she lost hers at five years old.

itrr - yes, indeed. With increasing longevity and "better" health care we get the dementias, more stroke victims surviving with deficits and so on. I'm sorry for your friend. It's not nice to see our capabilities slipping away.

cw - Ah! There are several choices of 50 mg 5-HTP on Amazon.ca and a few on Vitacost, one even enteric coated. What dose were you looking for?

need - so sad. My dad in the early stages of dementia knew he was losing it too. He just wanted to be sure that all of us were OK when he was gone. He was a very considerate, courteous man right to the end. I am sorry about your friend. She certainly seems to be stuck in her grief and in need of help, but you can't help someone who doesn't want it.

We are having a milder spell of weather right now. Hope it lasts till I am moved. Just waiting on R to come up and finish his work here. So loving a pared down house.

Need, it is sad and obvious that she blames herself for his death. I can't imagine the guilt she basks in.

She would have to let that go for therapy to help her.

I would have made a joke about mom being surprised to get a gallon of paint vs a gallon of milk. It would have been a great practical joke to play on her. :-)

ITRR,

Eventually, I think mom somewhat accepted that my father would have died much sooner if he had not had surgery. My mom would have benefited from therapy. She did understand others going but she wasn’t comfortable going herself.

That generation weren’t as open to therapy. There were stigmas attached to mental health concerns. She hid depression. When the nurse or doctors asked her about depression she would say that she would feel a little down sometimes but that is it.

There are risks in having surgery. It always creeps me out when reading and signing consent papers before I have surgery. I look forward to being sedated. Fortunately, I have never had any complications with anesthesia. I go out like a light very quickly!

I don’t know the exact stats. My dad died long before my mom died. It seems like a lot more women are left alone than men left alone. Women outlive the men.

If I am not in good health I don’t want to live to a very old age. I’d rather die before my quality of life deteriorated.

I think grief causes people to second guess themselves about so many things.

Golden,

I often wonder about people who hallucinate. That’s so intriguing to me.

When my neighbor went into the hospital to have her hysterectomy she was given Demerol for pain. Her mom went to visit her shortly after her surgery.

She told her mom, “Come pick the beautiful pink tulips with me!” Her mother pushed the nurse button immediately to report the hallucinations.

My neighbor said that it was a beautiful hallucination of gorgeous tulips so she didn’t mind that she was hallucinating! LOL

Some hallucinations are fascinating and others are frightening. My mom started seeing a little girl before she died. She told us that she was dreaming at first but later on she said she was wide awake when she appeared.

Golden,

What do you call ‘mild’ weather? Here it is in December and we are in the high seventies!

Not long ago it was cold. Our weather is crazy! The joke is, “If you don’t like the weather now, stick around for twenty minutes and it will change again.”

NHWM, you friend losing her dad at such a young age, and the way she did! OMG because dad went into a fire to retrieve her doll! I can't imagine and wonder if that is what actually happened. She must experience some guilt because of that. Not that she should, she was just a child, nothing she could have done.

I understand the "you are lucky" part. I lost my dad, also tragically, when I was 12. I think because of the tragedy the loss is more pronounced. She wishes she hadn't wanted her doll so badly, I wish there was something I could have done for my dad. When I hear stories of fond memories of dads it is, I guess, a longing that my life would have been different, happier maybe, it dad had been in the picture.

Fathers Day is especially hard, so many wonderful stories and pictures of dads with their children. Maybe a yearning for that male figure we never had? I have been in therapy a number of times in my life and still struggle with it. The feeling will always be there.

I don't like to do Amazon Golden, I was trying to find something available off the shelf both here and in the city.

Your comment about the pared down house made me smile because of a conversation I had with sister yesterday, she was saying she would like to get a new house and just leave all the clutter behind. That's funny because to some extent this is exactly what she has done all of her life, she can't part with stuff so she just moves on and leaves it for someone else to deal with.