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Nacy,
I hope you will be OK and of course your Mom.
Good reminder to get masks, I wear them during flu seasons which is soon.
Golden,
I think only Moderna is available.
Thank you for letting us know about tests available
I did not know they do flu shot already.
I get sick after shots, for at least 24 hrs, they say it is normal.
Hubby had none of those symptoms.
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TX think carefully about what the ‘housekeepers won’t do’, so that it DOESN’T ‘fall on you again’. For example, what are you going to do if the housekeepers AREN’T ‘licensed and bonded’. Will FIL let you sack them?

I can’t remember if FIL is in your house. If he is, you call the shots. If he’s not, he makes the decisions, not you, whether you think it’s safe or not. You may need to accept that this is a situation where things have to get worse and fall over before they will change. Sometimes propping them up means that they finally fall on you.
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TX - your house, your rules. You do not have to take over from the fired staff. Sounds like a meeting between your hub and his dad is needed. Fil needs that extra help. Who is going to do the shopping, cooking and giving of rides? Make sure it is not you. Does fil have any dementia?

Eva - that info was from Alva not me. I must check if the flu and covid vaccines are here. I missed last year's covid.
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TX ,

I agree with Golden . FIL fires the staff , it’s now your husband’s problem to have a moment with his Dad , to tell him that you will not be available to help any longer .

Stop stepping in and being the solution .
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Hey Send,

Hope you see this.

Good you are back! I got your PM but still can't send you any PM's back.
Not sure if you are aware of this or not. I sent admin.
a message about this.

It's not an issue with my account. It's still an issue with yours.

Hope things are well. Have missed you.
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Nacy: My PCP just gave me the Monovalent. Prayers for your mother.
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Gershun,
Felt something was wrong. Thanks for telling me!

I get logged out, but I didn't do it.

My posts are deleted.

The problem was the accessibilty widget (little blue man). And my computer was talking to me!

Now, I don't know what is wrong.

Thank you for writing to the admins on my behalf.

This morning (about 9:00 a.m.) on here, I saw posts being deleted.
The Admins have a big job moderating the new posters who have malicious intent and are attempting mayhem.

I think there is an issue with an over-sensitive spam filter.
I think the admins and tech know what they are doing.

I will be back, and keep trying.

I miss all my friends.

Thanks Gershun!
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Well we can at least keep reading your posts on the public threads for now Send. Keep them coming.
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Thanks to all, I'm pretty worried.

I've worked so hard for 4 years trying to keep covid away from my mom, I fought my family tooth and nail, to stay away if you have any symptoms. Made sure she got the vaccine, fought her to get it as soon as it came out . After I suspect that's why my dad kept getting blood clots, after a bad cold the January before shut down, that my brother brought home from Italy. I was a huge covid freak .

This year I just got much more laid back about it. I asked her quite a few times to get the vaccine, and she said she was waiting for doctors appointment, and for them to tell her. I should of pushed it more , I should of told her to call the doctor, then she would of gotten it. I just got so laid back, about covid.

My older brother is with her now, I'm going over around 8 , I don't want my brother to get it either, he is unvaccinated and has had numerous health issues since his bout with it 2 years ago.

Anyways so far I woke up feeling normal. 🤞

Uncle is on hospice, and my sister long time bf is getting his leg amputated today. Ugh
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Anxietynacy,

You can’t blame yourself , with the “ should haves”.

Your mother said she wanted to wait until her doctor appt . That was her decision .
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I agree, just found out POA brother is not coming around this weekend.

I think he is getting his espogus scrapped again, so understandable but, if mom gets sicker he is going to have to figure out something.

I'm trying to keep old brother away , because he is starting to feel better from long covid.

I called she said she is no worse. Which is good! I'm going over for a bit at eleven, masked up. Told her that she has to figure out something if she needs more help, I'm only staying for a bit. Lol I'm sure it will end up being longer than a bit.

But I'm going to limit my time and not worry.
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Mom, told me not to come over she is fine, and doesn't want to expose me more

Which reading though the lines means, she is sicker and doesn't want me around because she knows I will take her to ER or call 911.

Sence I'm not POA , I'm just going to stay out of it .
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nacy - hush, girl, You can't fix everything. I'm glad you are staying out of it. You obviously care for your mom's wellbeing and already do a lot for her. Like you say, you are not POA and it's POA's job to make that call.
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Nacy, GOOD.
There are folks here to intervene if needed.
If she doesn't wish to go to ER anymore she shouldn't have to.
You can't be responsible for everything here. Let it go.
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👍 yup I am
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Nacy,
Sorry that so much is going on around you, and your Mom is ill.
I may not post directly to you, but that does not mean I don't care, and I do read your posts. That part has to do with me and my boundaries.

Maybe you could take your Mom's words this time at face value: She doesn't want you exposed more by coming over. That sounds reasonable. But I do get it, I think.
You have been able to survive by interpreting your Mom's words all these years.

Maybe review the protocols from the past that you followed and that kept you safe from illness. I know I am going to, then reconsider how to keep safe. That's enough to do without worrying about what others are doing.

Did anyone get ill after the party on 9/21? Was anyone there ill that you might have noticed? (Coughing, fever, left the party early?) Sometimes, with enough information, we can figure these things out. There is a real difference between worry and information, imo.

What does "taking care of yourself" mean to you? It is such a general term, often used.

Feel better, stay calm, not to panic, not today.
Have a better day, from this moment on.
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No mom got it at physical therapy on Monday as far as we can figure out. No one else has been around it.

It's gonna happen, all we can do is the best we can do. It's all good. I'm worried but not overly concerned right now.

Mom has a habit of backing away when she is worried she may have to go to the hospital. I understand what she is doing now. And it's her right, and she knows I can't sit there and watch her struggling with out doing anything, it's something I'm learning to do but not always easy.

But thanks sends.
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Well, a new theory, my stepson that lives up stairs, for the most part, just told me he hasn't been feeling well for about 4 days, soar throat and headache, and that's why we haven't seen him , because he didn't want to expose us.

So maybe I'm asymptomatic and exposed mom.

Doesn't really matter, it's all over the place now but I'd say time line it's a possibility.
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Looks like you figured it out Nacy.
Good work!

I still have the automatic thermometer that you just point at the forehead.
My chiropractor used this to admit clients for treatment. If they had a fever, they were sent home.


That was way back in 2020, early on.

As far as isolation, I have always been isolated more than the average senior.
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Anx, I've accepted that you and spelling aren't a good mix, and read straight over them, but 'espogus' had me tossed!
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Margaret, sorry Esophagus, I think that's the right spelling, my brother has pre cancer esophagus cells, from 911.
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Margaret, my brother is an officer, and sick, but will have no communication with me, and will not give up POA , won't get help for mom, and won't consider AL, or finding a way to pay me.

He is the boss, and I am suppose to do what he says.
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Nacy,
I am sorry. Seems like many families still choose men to be in charge. Not right at all, I am not anti men, just strong believer in women’s power and wisdom combined with compassion.
Hope you don’t get sick as well.
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Caregiving is hard enough when you are the one with all the authority, I can't imagine how much more difficult it must be when someone else has all the power and shoulders none of the responsibility.😞
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Thanks , Willie and Eva, really appreciate it.

I am doing the best that I can. Trying to do some for mom and limit my time with mom, with no power, that is all I can do.

And turn in here to keep my s**t together.

I've learned so much on here, and processed so many things, things I didn't want to admit at first.

Moms a narssasist, brother is the Golden child and I'm the scapegoat.
And as long as I keep the crazy-makers at bay as much as I can. I do really well.
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Anx, I think you should start a thread of your own, just about this. “My brother is an officer, and sick, but will have no communication with me, will not give up POA , won't get help for mom, and won't consider AL, or finding a way to pay me”. You didn’t sign on to his ‘army’. His only hold over you is your concern for M. For example, you could walk away, then report M to APS for inadequate care. Neither APS nor your brother can force you back to what you are doing now. With your own thread, you can tell what you have tried, and you can get other ideas about how to handle it all.

I find it quite hard to follow the mixture of so many people's issues on the 'general' threads, please separate your own issues out!
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Margaret thanks, that's a good idea. I will do that.

Moms sounds ok on the phone, low grade fever, but ok, to where I'm not so worried.

Me and OB, are both still negative.

My uncle passed.

And my sister husband made it through, his leg amputation, and is doing pretty well

🤔 I think that just about covers everything.

Thanks guys!
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Nacy, (((hugs))). Hope your mom gets through this. Take care of yourself.
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We closed on my parents’ house yesterday. A huge load off my back.
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nacy - lots going on. Condolences on the passing of your uncle, glad your sis's hub is doing well, also glad your mom is ok and no more covid in the family so far.

hothouse - happy for you that that burden has been lifted. Time to relax a bit now?

way - thinking of you and your dh and your trip. Let us know how it goes.
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