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Jodi: I am so sorry that your aunt didn't recall receiving your wonderful package. The same thing would happen with my mother. I would send her nice packages, which she claimed weren't received. When I arrived there to be her live-in caregiver, I located the items in one of her drawers. You're not alone. ♥️
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When it rains, it pours. This week my dad has his last chemo treatment. This coming Tuesday my mom is undergoing a double mastectomy. I’ll be driving up there to be there for the surgery and take care of her for at least 1-2 weeks. I was going to drive up Sunday morning, instead of Monday because if we leave Monday, we have to leave later because the kids have school & I am not willing to drive highway 50 (Two lane mountain highway over the snowy sierras) in the dark. but then I realized it’s super bowl Sunday and my son really wants to watch the game and have our own little super bowl party. I felt guilty, like I was putting my parents first so I decided we have our super bowl party here on Sunday and we will drive to Nevada in Monday and the kids can miss their zoom meeting that morning so we can leave early.
So I was patting myself on the back for establishing a small boundary & putting my family first. But now my daughters cat (whom I like to call my cat, since mine died and Frankie is our only cat now) is sick, I suspect it’s his kidneys. The soonest the vet can see him is Friday morning. So now I have to leave town and leave behind our sick cat!! If he needs medication, my husband will not be able to give it to him, the cat does not like him. Won’t go near him. Every time we go to my parents house, Frankie hides under my daughters bed until we get home). If he has to go back to the vet next week, I really can’t see my husband being able to coax him out from hiding AND getting him in to the carrier. I really cannot believe this! What timing! How do you people do it? I feel like I am running in 2 different directions. Like I am being pulled in 2 different directions. I feel horribly guilty leaving the cat knowing something is very wrong and if my suspicions are right, he cannot wait until I get home. He will decline too fast and the damage will be done! My DD will stay home with him if necessary but I feel guilty leaving her here. I know my mom is going to feel sad not seeing my DD especially during this difficult time, the cancer diagnosis has left my mother shaken and upset obviously. But I also know she will understand why my DD stayed home. Yet I still feel guilt. Maybe guilt is the wrong word. It just feels wrong. Like no matter what, it’s wrong. Wrong to leave my DD here to take care of the cat herself and wrong to take her with me and leave the cat behind knowing he’s sick!! I really don’t know how you caregivers manage to stay sane. I feel like I have to keep everyone happy and be in 2 places at once.
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Worried: I am praying for you and your mother and father. That's difficult. I pray that you can get through it. And so sorry, too, for your daughter's cat's illness. Big virtual hugs.
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Worried, Good thoughts for you and your family as you go thru these difficult times. I hoe your parents have complete recoveries. Kidney problems are so bad for cats
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We’ve been cleaning out our home office. Thirty five years of paper. A real collectors item. Our first savings book - 1984, along with all the subsequent stmts. Our bank has been sold three different times to bigger banks. Little notes about withdrawals - sons college fees, a cruise for out 25th wedding anniversary, etc
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Worried,

Sending prayers and blessing!!

Bridger,

I know how hard it is to sift through someone else's life!

It's like eating an elephant, one bite at a time!!

God bless!
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Cali,

Wishing you all the best with your family and your kitty.
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Bridger,

Tons of memories in that little bank book 😊.

It’s the sweet story of your life.
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WorriedInCA - it does pour. Your dad, now your mom, and the poor cat. I can feel the stress just reading your post. I hope your mom will have a successful surgery and a quick recovery. And for you to keep sane.
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Bridger: I so understand the cleaning out of bank books and the like. What a blessed story.🌺🌺
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95 year old man, a resident in assisted living, shoots and kills employee of the facility.😢😢😢

No mention of dementia yet. Guns are not allowed there.
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And yet people still insist that America doesn't have a gun problem.
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cwille,

Many Americans admit that there is a problem.

Let’s hope for change in this nation and the entire world.

Glad, what a horrific story. 😞
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"Guns don't kill people, people kill people."

Unfortunately, Guns always seem to get into the wrong hands.

Glad, that is just awful...it makes me wonder "what is happening to our nation and our world as a whole?"😢
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I think gun control is another hot political issue that we should not discuss and fight over in this forum.
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Thank you all!! I really can’t put in to words how much all of your have helped me, just by sharing your own experiences as caregivers. When my mom got the bad news, I immediately started planning things out in my head. I figured with 2 parents going through cancer treatments, I would need to go up to their house every 2 weeks or every other week! If it wasn’t for this forum and all of the people who are brave enough to tell their story, I would have been one of the ones who, like I think “nobodygetsit” described on Lealonnies post about nursing home bashing, one of the ones who starts out doing little things here and there and then ends up doing it ALL because the parents became too dependent!! Because of this forum, I know what signs to look for and what not to do! I WANT to help my parents but I don’t want to fall in to the black hole of despair, where I’ve pushed my husband and children to the side and my life now centers around making sure my parents ever want and need to taken care of it!! And I don’t want to be caught between my parents & my husband and children. So yeah this forum is a very very valuable place. I hope you all realize how amazing you are and how you are helping random internet strangers! I bet there are a lot of lurkers who benefit from your experiences and knowledge.

The Kitty is doing ok today. He’s not in an obvious decline which is good so I am praying we get good news at the vet tomorrow.
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Your right Polarbear. I should have left out the first line of my post. I apologize, my bad!!
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Cali,

No one ever does everything perfectly all of the time.

Please don’t expect perfection from yourself, or from anyone else for that matter.

Everyone deserves support and encouragement.

Very often, a person can’t even imagine what caregiving is like until they do it themselves.

I had absolutely no clue how hard it was until I did it first hand.

Neither of my parents were full time caregivers, so I had no frame of reference to follow.

I did not know about this forum until I was deeply into caregiving. A social worker informed me of this site.

What works for others may or may not work for you.

You will grow from your own life experiences.

There is no one size fits all in caregiving. You will have to customize your own plan.

Listen to others but don’t allow anyone to dictate your individual path.

Collect information and determine what is feasible and best suited for your family’s needs.
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Day 2, y’all and no side effects of my first COVID vaccine so far. Yay!
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Need: You're right about our parents not being fulltime caregivers. My mother never provided care for her mother - she was caring for her own family. My grandfather cared for himself.
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Worried: Big virtual hugs tonight. I realize that at 74, I try to take on too much. We've got to give ourselves a break.
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Going to bed. Goodnight all! Sweet dreams to everyone.
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Need: Yay for no side effects on day #2. That's great.

Sweet dreams - just saw your post that you were going to sleep.♥️
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Glad: That was sad.
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News, cause was resident's belief that staff had taken $200 from his wallet. Beginning of dementia? Paranoia and accusations.

Occasionally on this site we read about elderly with cognitive problems having guns. If that is the case, the guns need to be removed from the residence. These things can happen.
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Or an undiagnosed UTI causing delusions?
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Glad,

Terribly sad.
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I contacted Aging Care team courtesy of Llama providing the number to contact them . Thank you Llama. The tech people will check into why misspelled words, typed messages disappearing and so on. Hope this helps.
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Our mayor just spoke on television.

We are averaging two deaths a day. More hospitalizations too.

We have identified UK strains here which are more contagious.

Our state started off with vaccines for 70 and above.

They are going to start vaccinating on ages 65 and up soon.

The mayor was extremely opposed to our college students partying on Bourbon St. last weekend and NOT wearing masks!

She has said this is unacceptable behavior and will NOT be tolerated this weekend or next.

NO BARS, inside or outside will be open because every time people behave in selfish ways, like partying in the streets, there is a SURGE in COVID-19 with DEATHS occurring DAILY!!!

So, this will NOT be a repeat of Mardi Gras last year where we became a hot spot for COVID-19 shortly afterwards.

As the mayor said, we can have a safe and happy Mardi Gras. People still have our Mardi Gras spirit! We have our king cakes floating around. We have our houses decorated as floats in lieu of traditional parades and so on.

We shall see how this plays out.

The mayor invited a doctor to speak at this press conference.

The doctor’s final words were very poignant. She said, “Remember, you have to be alive to receive a vaccine. Please wear your masks and social distance.”

It is not easy for health care workers to see death on daily basis.
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EB: You're very welcome. Glad to be of help.
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