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NeedHelp, so sorry to hear about your mum in hospice. I think it’s quite natural for you to have a mixture of conflicting thoughts at this time, and a lack of sleep plus heightened anxiety will certainly make this worse. Maybe you don’t want to speak to a hospice nurse because you don’t want to hear them spell out the situation? There is no right or wrong way to act at this time - you can only do what feels right and what you feel capable of doing on a day to day basis. Guilt shouldn’t come into any decisions you make. Sending love and hugs during this really difficult time.
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I was released from the hospital late yesterday. I still must rest, take prescribed medications, have a f/u appointment with my PC doctor (after having just seen her 2 and 1/4 days prior from calling EMS) and see a pulmonologist. Of course, I am not back to full strength.
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Glad you are home Llama. Have a good rest and take care of yourself.
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Glad you are home, Llama.

I hope you feel better soon.

Take care.
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Thanks so much for your kind words, Chris.
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Llama, so glad you are home!

NHWM, ((((((hugs))))))) and good thought to you and your mom.
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So glad you are back home Llama!
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Welcome home Llama, that is good news!
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Llama, great you are home. Hope you get well real soon. Take good care of yourself. Hugs.
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Llama, Glad you’re home.

Our governor has announced that festivals will be able to return this year after Covid shutdowns last year. I love our small town festivals and parades.
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Why am I feeling so low? I had my first Covid jab 10 days ago with no ill effects, my son is home from Uni this Saturday, it is Springtime, we finally seem to have Covid under control for a while at least, and we are out of winter. Yes, my MIL is in a hospice now, but I am feeling worse now than when she first became very ill nearly 2 weeks ago. I just want to weep constantly, but feel a fraud as others have it so much worse. Is this a delayed reaction to the stresses we've all been under for the past 12 months? I took a walk in a local park earlier today to try to lift my mood. The cherry blossom was out but I just wanted to cry with despair. Anyone have any ideas, or maybe feeling the same way?
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Chriscat83, We talked about at church last evening. Everyone seems to feel the same way. So much has gone on in the last year. Both of my parents have died and I’m having delayed grief from that. My husband and son both had Covid and have been diagnosed with long haulers syndrome. It’s all overwhelming. Cindy
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Chris,

I hope you start to feel better soon.

I feel a range of emotions at this point in time too.

We’ll get through it.
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Thank you Bridger. It's reassuring to know it's not just me. If I think about it, in less than 2 years I've lost my dad, 2 uncles, an aunt and unexpectedly a cousin whose funeral was just a day before my MIL became very ill. Then we can add in Covid too, and the isolated way we have all had to live. I still feel I am fortunate compared to many. In mid April our pubs and restaurants will be allowed to open for outdoor dining. We are so looking forward to meeting 2 friends who we haven't seen since January 2020. We have booked an outdoor table at a restaurant owned by some mutual friends of ours. They have had a really difficult year of being closed for more months than open, so we want to support them. It will be very cold and possibly wet, typical UK April weather, but it will be wonderful to reconnect after so long.
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Thanks Needhelp, I feel a bit pathetic.
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Chris,

You’re not pathetic at all. You’re a human being with emotions.

Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Thanks NeedHelp. I'm finding it does help to think of and reach out to others. Thinking of you and your mum at this time. Xxx
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NHWM,
My goal is to support you rather than make you cry.
The estrangement you experience with your mother is not going to disappear because she is in hospice, or because she is glad to see you there.

You can forgive her overall, but the threat of her saying something to you that really hurts and may undo you for years to come is possible. That may be something that could make you nervous. There was Burnout, that was real. Takes time to heal.

Everyone is different. You can go see her. Or, you can withdraw from her final hours if that is better for you.

There is no judgment of you whatever you choose to do.

I could not travel again to see my Mom after the visits I had made. I was not there when she died. I am not hard-hearted, and have no regrets for not going that last month.
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Chris,

I am actually amazed by my mom’s change in behavior.

It seems the addition of Seroquel and Ativan have helped her tremendously.

I am all for utilizing meds when needed. She isn’t agitated at all. She is calm and pleasant.

I brought her several different kinds of single serving ice creams today.

She had one after her lunch. She has never been a large woman but now she is extremely thin.

The staff check on her hourly. She has a call button for in between their visits, so she is well cared for. I couldn’t be happier with their service.

I have always praised hospice for their dedication to their patients.

I saw the same level of care when my brother was in a hospice house. It’s wonderful to have peace of mind in these situations.
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Send,

Thanks. It was rough going when mom was living in my home.

I absolutely burned out. She wasn’t agreeable and argued about all sorts of things. I wore myself out trying to make her comfortable.

So, I guess I wasn’t sure what to expect from her.

I am so happy that she has accepted being in hospice. It’s better for her, better for the family. They can do so much more than we can for her.

I am like you. I don’t judge anyone for not subjecting themselves to pain. We must protect ourselves.

Thanks for your support. I appreciate it very much.
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NeedHelp, it is reassuring for you to have found a better relationship with your mum at this stage, and good that the meds are making her comfortable.
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Hubs heard from our PC Dr today, they hope to have the vaccine available next week to start on their regular pts. Asked if he cared which one,, nope any will do.. is he available on a few hours notice,, yes indeed.. YAY!! This is a man who was not too happy I got mine,, but since DD got her first one this week,, he's come around!
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Creative events are still coming forth since the pandemic.

My daughter just told me that she purchased tickets for Van Gogh: The Immersive Experience.

It started off in Paris. It’s been in several cities now. It will be in Denver in September, October and November. She says it’s selling out!

Anyway, it’s digital art. She had her name on a waitlist for the tickets.

The location of the event in Denver is a secret and will be disclosed later.
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I find it so interesting how creative ideas are coming forward due to the pandemic.

I just looked at the YouTube link that my daughter sent about the upcoming Van Gogh event that she will be attending in November.

Apparently, the art works of Van Gogh will be projected digitally on the ceiling and walls instead of looking at his actual paintings.

I am wondering which of these creative ideas will stick around and which ones will fade away like other trends.
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People have proved that some work can be finished just as effectively away from the office, I can't imagine those who have been able to work from home will ever give up that option completely.
And no contact payment has really pushed digital currency forward, hardly anyone I know even carries much cash any more.
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cwille,

Oh so true! Where would we be without our plastic credit and debit cards?

Remember traveler’s checks? Hahaha 🤣 Some things have faded away. Cash seems to be fading quickly too!
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How Governor Cuomo behavioral during and before the Pandemic as I have listed below.
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has been embroiled in numerous controversies in recent weeks, and now a high-profile pharma company has been swept into the melee.

Regeneron’s president and chief scientific officer, George Yancopoulos, was among the people who snagged access to COVID-19 testing early in the pandemic when testing was limited, The New York Times reports. Aside from Yancopoulos, Cuomo allowed his relatives and other “influential people” access to testing, the NYT reports.  
Regeneron sought tests for Yancopoulos after a member of his household contracted COVID-19 in March 2020, a spokesperson said in a statement. Yancopoulos was an essential worker who "directly" Regeneron's work to develop its COVID-19 antibody cocktail, so the company asked for testing to ensure its teams would be safe, Regeneron's representative said.

"We are disturbed by the negative and false insinuations, which undermine the relentless efforts of the Regeneron people during an incredibly challenging time," Regeneron said in its statement.
Early in the pandemic, there was a “heavy emphasis on contact tracing," a spokesman for the governor told the Times. The administration was “absolutely going above and beyond to get people tested,” he added. Lawmakers, reporters and members of the general public were among those who were tested, he said. 
RELATED: Regeneron, Roche's COVID-19 antibody cocktail could snare $6B in sales next year: analyst
Meanwhile, the New York State Assembly’s judiciary committee has been looking into allegations of sexual harassment against the governor, and into allegations that his administration manipulated data on nursing home deaths during the pandemic. Investigators could now look into the early testing access, the committee's chair Charles D. Lavine told the Times. 
Regeneron has played an important role in the pandemic response by developing an antibody cocktail to an emergency use authorization from the FDA. Phase 3 data recently showed the combo lowered the risk of hospitalization or death in high-risk, non-hospitalized patients by 70% compared with placebo.
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How Governor Cuomo behavioral during and before the Pandemic as I have listed below.
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has been embroiled in numerous controversies in recent weeks, and now a high-profile pharma company has been swept into the melee.

Regeneron’s president and chief scientific officer, George Yancopoulos, was among the people who snagged access to COVID-19 testing early in the pandemic when testing was limited, The New York Times reports. Aside from Yancopoulos, Cuomo allowed his relatives and other “influential people” access to testing, the NYT reports.  
Regeneron sought tests for Yancopoulos after a member of his household contracted COVID-19 in March 2020, a spokesperson said in a statement. Yancopoulos was an essential worker who "directly" Regeneron's work to develop its COVID-19 antibody cocktail, so the company asked for testing to ensure its teams would be safe, Regeneron's representative said.

"We are disturbed by the negative and false insinuations, which undermine the relentless efforts of the Regeneron people during an incredibly challenging time," Regeneron said in its statement.
Early in the pandemic, there was a “heavy emphasis on contact tracing," a spokesman for the governor told the Times. The administration was “absolutely going above and beyond to get people tested,” he added. Lawmakers, reporters and members of the general public were among those who were tested, he said. 
RELATED: Regeneron, Roche's COVID-19 antibody cocktail could snare $6B in sales next year: analyst
Meanwhile, the New York State Assembly’s judiciary committee has been looking into allegations of sexual harassment against the governor, and into allegations that his administration manipulated data on nursing home deaths during the pandemic. Investigators could now look into the early testing access, the committee's chair Charles D. Lavine told the Times. 
Regeneron has played an important role in the pandemic response by developing an antibody cocktail to an emergency use authorization from the FDA. Phase 3 data recently showed the combo lowered the risk of hospitalization or death in high-risk, non-hospitalized patients by 70% compared with placebo.
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NHWM,
"the art works of Van Gogh will be projected digitally on the ceiling and walls instead of looking at his actual paintings."

Not exactly the actual painting on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Lol.
Do you think that Michelangelo was standing or lying down when painting it?
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Send,

Hahaha. Yeah, not exactly Michelangelo, he was standing up.

He hated it. He always considered himself a sculptor rather than a painter.

I love his paintings and sculptures.
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