Countrymouse Posted November 2018
On My Mind
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Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
💞🧸️🆘🧸️💞
I’m so sorry that the eviction plan was squashed.
Go for the restraining order and hope to get a sympathetic judge.
My daughter went through getting a restraining order while she was in college for an ex boyfriend attending the same university.
It’s tough to get a restraining order. Thank God she had proof of everything. This monster went after my daughter and also her toy poodle. He ended up blinding the dog. It was awful!
He even tried to kill himself and blame it on her because she broke up with him! The police took him to a mental institution.
She got the restraining order, even though his attorney tried everything under the sun to discredit her.
My daughter had an excellent attorney who had been through her own abuse in the past.
Without proof, you don’t have a shot in h*ll of getting one.
Best of luck to you. Document everything! Have witnesses on hand to verify facts.
The Moratorium on evictions does not supercede law enforcement from intervening in criminal activities.
You perceive a real threat to your safety.
When you are ready, search "How to legally remove a drug addict from your home."
The advice I have read says to consult law enforcement.
Additionally, when tenant is at her craziest behavior, she can be placed on a psychiatric hold by calling 911 out of concern for her welfare and for your safety. Ideally, then you can ask a judge to not have her returned to your home. So many ways to deal with the problem. When you are ready.
In the meantime, she can be robbing you blind coming in and out all night. Theft is also a criminal offense.
If faced with this, and having a vacant room available, I would rent to a big guy with private investigative experience or law enforcement.
My ad would look like this:
Room available for 30 days to an individual preferred to have law enforcement experience.
Or something like that.
When I was taking my finals in college, I had to go to a motel to study those last few days.
I just could not do husband care, cooking, etc. AND my studies. I went home in the daytime when no one was there to check on things/only when I had a break.
Is the library open in your area?
Good suggestions. Unfortunately, the psychiatric holds aren’t all that long.
It’s going to be a tough fight for Ali.
I’m hoping that she lands with the best judge for her situation.
Having the right judge makes all the difference in the world!
Still, I would be concerned about how Covid is effecting convictions. This is a challenge for Ali.
So sad.
When I had experienced a similar situation in my life,
I went to the instructor and explained how I could not think straight with what was happening at home. He gave me an extension to complete my final and turn it in. I was older than the average college student at the time.
Another few times, I recall asking my brother to help me in a very difficult situation. He was reluctant, but did, twice. It seems to have involved other people on drugs.
I never needed to ask an attorney to help me evict someone. But I always complied with the law.
You are having an exigent circumstance, and can invite law enforcement into your home anytime. A person doing drugs will have drugs in their possession/home/car/purse at some time.
What is an example of an exigent circumstance?
An exigent circumstance, in the criminal procedure law of the United States, allows law enforcement, under certain circumstances, to enter a structure without a search warrant or, if they have a "knock and announce" warrant, without knocking and waiting for the owner's permission to enter.
Vs.
How Long Does it Take to Evict a Chicago Tenant? (Prior to Covid):
Chicago evictions have a reputation for taking forever, to the point where many landlords seek to avoid it at all costs, sometimes even choosing to tolerate tenants who are months behind in rent.
Unfortunately, the reputation of long Chicago evictions is at least somewhat earned. However, the earlier you start the process the sooner you can have your rental unit back, and using a Chicago Eviction attorney to navigate the process can make it go as fast as possible.
Generally speaking, the earliest you can expect to physically evict a tenant out of your unit is around 2 months from the date you give the tenant notice of his/her violation, but this largely depends on several circumstances.
Great suggestion from Send to notify your professors.
Take advantage of any opportunity to use in not getting behind in school.
You’re doing great though. You’re focusing on what’s most important.
It’s terribly frustrating and unfortunate to have been bombarded with your roommate’s outbursts during this hectic time in your life.
Exams are a lot of pressure under any circumstances. This makes it 1,000 times harder to deal with.
Keep the faith. Keep plugging away, find quiet places to study. Look forward to the day this is behind you.
When my daughter had roommate issues, she studied at the park, the library and coffee shops.
She had a great landlord that asked a policeman that rented a few doors down from her to make sure her ex boyfriend didn’t show up in her parking lot.
My daughter went through a few crappy roomies as well. One of them had a drug issue and had strange guys sleeping over. When one of the guys went into her room one night claiming that he accidentally opened her door, she had enough and broke her lease and moved.
I realize that you may not be able to do that. It’s not convenient.
My daughter was lucky and knew of another student who was looking for a new roommate and so she had a place to move into.
Life gets messy sometimes. It will work on your last nerve. I hope things start to look up for you soon.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
I notified professors. I may not need the extension but I have it. I'm working on homework now and the house has been quiet. I think N went to sleep finally.
But... not before police were called by her and she claimed I stabbed her. Obviously I didn't stab her but this is just getting bonkers. She had been on a yelling rampage throughout the apartment and then was kicking really hard on the door as I'm sitting in the spare room doing homework and was saying "This is a really nice room, maybe I'll move in here. It's my place now." I pushed her -- more like restrained her as she was coming in to a spare room where I'm just sitting at the little desk, minding my own business -- and after I pushed her out I retreated to the room. I heard her on the phone to 911 and what she was saying. I called them myself to tell them the truth. CPD finally came and I showed them videos of N last night and overnight from Ring. They left after giving us both documentation to file a domestic abuse incident.
In a way, this is good. It's LEO documentation of things. She is saying she will file charges against me and sue me. I don't think she has a leg to stand on but I'm also not dealing with a rational person. My landlady said she will write a letter on my behalf for a judge. So... I'm slowly working towards evidence for a restraining order... I hope?! I would gladly hand this off to a lawyer to handle for me. I'll keep working to find one that will help.
This went from barely tolerable to a living nightmare real fast.
I appreciate your comments and PMs. I'm holding it together somehow. I will do One Day At A Time, just like bad caregiving situations.
*I ordered extra interior cameras for the apartment and they should be here tomorrow. My manager was very kind and I'm off the next two days. I have Ashwagandha and turmeric tea and I'm surprised how calm I feel after drinking some, making some now. One Day At A Time.
You have your first piece of documentation!
Screw ups always make mistakes. She just made a major one by leaving a paper trail where you were not charged with anything!
She’s a trouble maker! Her pattern will start showing.
Hang in there, Ali. We are pulling for you. Hugs!
God, grant me the serenity.
I admit that I wish I still had my record collection! I have tons of cds but guess what? No CD player!!! The new cars don’t have them.
Oh well. My kids say that I am out of the loop!
Good prayer!
Let her stew for a bit. Drink your coffee, eat breakfast, take a shower!
Then let her back in. Take a loooooong time! 😆 I like the idea of not replacing her key!
I am glad that you were able to fall back asleep.
Take care, my friend. It’s got to get better. I hate to think about it getting any worse!
I have 3 new interior cameras to monitor her behavior. They are all in common use rooms, so no expectation of privacy. I hated to do it but given what's happened, it was necessary. And I may have a referral or two for a local lawyer that will help me with a restraining order.
She will be driving me nuts in the meantime with her erratic and volatile behavior.
And no more roommates until this eviction moratorium is lifted.
Getting old is not cheap and it is certainly not free. Does anyone else share this pinion or am I hanging out here all alone.
I think some people would rather look for a handout than try to make do or open their wallets even if they have the resources.
I think some people are very "ducks in a row" and some are much more "let the chips fall where they may" kind of thinkers
And I think that the life plan of many of our oldest generation was to have died 10 or 20 years ago without years and decades of frailty and ill health - the way their parent's generation did.
It's like she knows she can't continue on as she has all day and night with cameras here. If this works to get her out, it will be the best $255 I've ever spent. I was willing to spend much more trying to go through the legal system, whatever it would take.
Very draining. Thanks for allowing me to share and vent, and giving input and support. I'm probably an emotionally fragile person on my best day, unfortunately. I definitely didn't need this level of chaos in my life.
I have my fingers crossed for you that she will move.
I agree. That’s a small price to pay for your peace of mind.
As usual, wishing you all the best!
Some people have never had enough to save.
They live paycheck to paycheck.
They have had unexpected expenses in life and are constantly playing catch up.
Through no fault of their own, they got behind or couldn’t get ahead.
These people sometimes need help over their bumps in road and that is understandable.
Regarding our ancestors, my grandmother was so resourceful in her life.
She simply didn’t believe in any waste. She taught my mom to be the same way. Mom taught me. My dad was the same. They believed in saving for a rainy day!
So many people don’t think about ‘tomorrow’ and seem to relish in flying by the seat of their pants.
Your family is blessed to have you and your husband in their lives. It is very kind of you to help them with their needs.
Whatever. Whatever, whatever. Just need N to move out.
I'm concerned about the other assignment I turned in Tuesday, too. I'm not sure I did it right and it's worth 240 points, not 100, so if I do poorly it will drag my final grade down. I'm hopeful, because that professor is much easier grader.
I don’t blame you for being upset about your whacked out roommate though.
She has to go! And the sooner the better, right?
She is too much of a distraction in your life. You deserve to live in peace.
Hopefully, she will see the error of her ways and own them.
Let’s hope that she will see the light in the future and live a productive life and not disrupt others lives like she has yours.
On the other hand, I was working from home doing EITC today. Medicaid installed these cameras because, ugh, you know "rights," whatever. I was so irritated, the worker sat there from 8 to 10:15 on her phone not telling the client she was there until her phone went off. Just a waste imo.
So, my question is would you rather have tax dollars pay for a lawn cut or a worthless caregiver draining the system? Watching it daily makes me sick.
I share your sentiments!
Interesting what you said about the past generation,
I was FaceTiming with my niece, so my mom could say hello to her.
Only two people are allowed at the time in mom’s hospice house and my niece lives several states away.
My mom told her that she couldn’t believe that she was 95! She is so ready to join my dad in the afterlife.
It’s fine to be older if a person has good health.
My husband’s great grandmother lived just shy of 102!
She was dancing with the band we hired for her 100th birthday party. No walker, no cane! Had all her faculties. Oh, if we could all be so blessed!
She never took any meds except for Tylenol for an occasional headache.
She was in remarkable health. She died from old age.