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Gershun: You're very welcome.🌈
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Goodnight to all of you.

I am exhausted. I kept telling myself that I was fully prepared to face the time left with mom in hospice.

Now I wonder if that is true. The last couple of days, I find myself going from frozen or numb to losing it and I cry and cry watching a skeleton with flesh covering it. It is horrible to see a person become skin and bones.

Maybe tomorrow will be a bit easier.

I just want to go lie down and turn my mind off for awhile. I need to rest.

Thanks to all who offer support on this forum. It is very much appreciated.
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Need: Get your rest. Virtual hugs sent. It's extremely hard. I am so sorry that your mother is so thin. Once my mom suffered the ischemic stroke, her eyes shut, never to open again but she was still alive. I was by myself with her in a different state when a single tear rolled down her cheek. I only had myself to comfort me.
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Needhelpwithmom, please get some rest. I know it’s difficult. I know to turn my mind off I sometimes have to take some NyQuil. It does the trick. I don’t like taking any kind of sleep aids but when the racing thoughts start, sometimes grabbing a swig of NyQuil helps. I’m sure a swig of booze would help too. Sometimes just a nice soothing bath with some nice soothing music helps tremendously. Even something simple as having your husband rub your back or give you a massage will help. My husband did that for me, he still does it when I ask him to.

Be gentle with yourself. We are all here for you. Hugs!!!!
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Need, sorry you are struggling at the moment. Go easy on yourself. It’s a difficult time, and there are no rules to say how you should or shouldn’t be feeling right now. I was very distressed at my father’s appearance before he died - probably more distressed than his actual death, which I felt was a release for him. In time and by speaking with his care team I’ve managed to put this into context as part of his otherwise long, active and fulfilled life, and this brought me some comfort. Do get help if you need it, and remember we are all here to support you.
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Yes, that was great, Chris about putting into context our parents' lives. Though my dad lived a short life, passing at age 50, my mom lived to age 94 and worked outside the home until almost 80 among other things.
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Thanks so much for your kind words, Chris.

I appreciate everyone’s thoughtfulness.
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Elaine, I do love all the fancy bath products. That’s my biggest splurge, I suppose. I am not a big shopper but I do buy bath goodies. Yes, occasionally I will pour a glass of wine to sip and play my favorite music. It is soothing.
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Llama,

Strokes are hard. My dad had a stroke and was never the same again.

Didn’t your dad die years before your mom like my dad did. My dad died in 2002. Mom misses him so much. They were married over 50 years.

I can’t believe that I will be married 43 years on the 22nd of this month!
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After waiting to hear back about whether I could even book a vaccine appointment in my town I went online this morning and looked at the neighbouring municipality - I'm booked for the 28th (unless there are shortages). Sometimes politely waiting your turn is not the way to go.
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Need: I lost my Daddy in 1967 so he died DECADES before my mother, not even in the same century! I had just turned 20. Sorry that your dad suffered a stroke. What type was it? Sorry that he died in 2002.
Happy 43rd Wedding Anniversary!♥️🎉
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Big day for me tomorrow. I get a covid shot and I'll know by the end of the day if my problematic roommate is moving out of her own accord. She took some things out to her rental car today again, so I'm hopeful. It'd be a huge weight off my mind if she leaves on her own and I don't have to go down this road of having to file for a protective order.

I was reading online that the moratorium on evictions specifically excludes anyone in the household who is a personal safety threat to others. But again, if the housing courts are backlogged with cases, even if I have a legit grievance, I'm just not sure that I could get my case heard in housing court any time soon.

I hope that I don't have to do anything more. I'll know tomorrow.

It's enough for me right now to gear up for the new school term starting this week. Onwards and upwards.
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Llama,

Thank you for the wedding anniversary wishes.

You were young when you lost your dad. Gee, your mom was a young widow. Sad for all of you. We never know when it’s our time to go.

The only thing mom said to us about daddy’s stroke was that he had it after his heart surgery. Surgery is a risk but he would have died without the surgery.

It takes a lot of work for a person who has a stroke to recover, rehab and speech therapy.

It is interesting that there are different types of strokes. Also how some are very mild (mini stroke) and they don’t require any rehab.

How are you feeling since you were sick? Better, I hope.
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Need: You're welcome. Yes, I missed my own adulthood of my father's life, if those words make sense to you. Yes, my mom was only 46. I was asking if your dad suffered a hemorrhagic or an ischemic stroke, e.g. one from a brain bleed or one from a blood clot? No, still not well because I have to start all over again with a new urologist, seeing a pulmonologist among other doctors.
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Llama,

I really don’t know the answer. Perhaps I should but I don’t. I don’t think mom ever mentioned what type of stroke daddy had.

I hope that you start to feel better soon. Glad that you are seeing specialists to help resolve your health issues.
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Need: Oh, okay. Thank you for your wishes.
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Happy 36th wedding anniversary to us! Where did the years go? 36 is closer to 50, which my parents celebrated.

Nice walk along the beach, but a tad windy today. We met each other, as teens, at the beach.

Had a nice lunch together. Simple, basic day. I like that.
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thankful to have this printed out a few years ago. When mom was in the hospital, she was a little more giving with her personal information. I took that time to fill in her information, listed in brochure below.

It is helping me now as I navigate next steps.

https://www.aarp.org/content/dam/aarp/caregiving/2018/02/prepare-to-care-guide-english-aarp.pdf?intcmp=AE-CAR-P2CGD-ENG
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Funky weather over the weekend for us. Grrrrr.

I don’t like driving in the bad weather.
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Looking up Holidays observed on May 1st, there are so many in the U.S.
One is Kentucky Derby Day!
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I remembered you are a race fan Send, have a julep or two to celebrate.
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Went to look up Kentucky Derby. So many races, not sure I even saw it yet.....
Then watched comedy on youtube, called DryBar.

Now I am having a non-alcoholic drink: Ginger Beer. I can never remember the name correctly, so decided to call it root beer. (Ginger is a root).
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When I was growing up,May 1st was called" May Day" and we always made little baskets of flowers and took them to nursing homes and handed them out to the people there .
Other times,we'd hang them on someone's door and ring the bell and run.
At school,we had a pole we circled around on May Day too and I think we sang some song.
May Day was like a holiday then~
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My mother made me sad when she laughed at my May Basket.😥
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Just ordered myself some flowers because I am a mother and a grandmother who needs a break today. Delivery by Instacart.
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I'm celebrating Not a mother, Got no mother day.
I've been carrying my binoculars on my walks in hope of adding to my life list (I scored an ovenbird the other day, yay!) and I made myself a lemon meringue pie (just the kind that comes in a box).
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Happy Mother’s Day to all moms today!
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If it's not one thing, it's your mother!
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Need: Thank you. Happy Mother's Day to you, too.
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Our son in law broke his dominant hand middle finger in work related injury. Was scheduled for immediate surgery as bone was twisted. In less than 24 hours he is casted to his elbow. Down time of 3 weeks.
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