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Went to look up Kentucky Derby. So many races, not sure I even saw it yet.....
Then watched comedy on youtube, called DryBar.

Now I am having a non-alcoholic drink: Ginger Beer. I can never remember the name correctly, so decided to call it root beer. (Ginger is a root).
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I remembered you are a race fan Send, have a julep or two to celebrate.
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Looking up Holidays observed on May 1st, there are so many in the U.S.
One is Kentucky Derby Day!
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Funky weather over the weekend for us. Grrrrr.

I don’t like driving in the bad weather.
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thankful to have this printed out a few years ago. When mom was in the hospital, she was a little more giving with her personal information. I took that time to fill in her information, listed in brochure below.

It is helping me now as I navigate next steps.

https://www.aarp.org/content/dam/aarp/caregiving/2018/02/prepare-to-care-guide-english-aarp.pdf?intcmp=AE-CAR-P2CGD-ENG
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Happy 36th wedding anniversary to us! Where did the years go? 36 is closer to 50, which my parents celebrated.

Nice walk along the beach, but a tad windy today. We met each other, as teens, at the beach.

Had a nice lunch together. Simple, basic day. I like that.
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Need: Oh, okay. Thank you for your wishes.
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Llama,

I really don’t know the answer. Perhaps I should but I don’t. I don’t think mom ever mentioned what type of stroke daddy had.

I hope that you start to feel better soon. Glad that you are seeing specialists to help resolve your health issues.
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Need: You're welcome. Yes, I missed my own adulthood of my father's life, if those words make sense to you. Yes, my mom was only 46. I was asking if your dad suffered a hemorrhagic or an ischemic stroke, e.g. one from a brain bleed or one from a blood clot? No, still not well because I have to start all over again with a new urologist, seeing a pulmonologist among other doctors.
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Llama,

Thank you for the wedding anniversary wishes.

You were young when you lost your dad. Gee, your mom was a young widow. Sad for all of you. We never know when it’s our time to go.

The only thing mom said to us about daddy’s stroke was that he had it after his heart surgery. Surgery is a risk but he would have died without the surgery.

It takes a lot of work for a person who has a stroke to recover, rehab and speech therapy.

It is interesting that there are different types of strokes. Also how some are very mild (mini stroke) and they don’t require any rehab.

How are you feeling since you were sick? Better, I hope.
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Big day for me tomorrow. I get a covid shot and I'll know by the end of the day if my problematic roommate is moving out of her own accord. She took some things out to her rental car today again, so I'm hopeful. It'd be a huge weight off my mind if she leaves on her own and I don't have to go down this road of having to file for a protective order.

I was reading online that the moratorium on evictions specifically excludes anyone in the household who is a personal safety threat to others. But again, if the housing courts are backlogged with cases, even if I have a legit grievance, I'm just not sure that I could get my case heard in housing court any time soon.

I hope that I don't have to do anything more. I'll know tomorrow.

It's enough for me right now to gear up for the new school term starting this week. Onwards and upwards.
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Need: I lost my Daddy in 1967 so he died DECADES before my mother, not even in the same century! I had just turned 20. Sorry that your dad suffered a stroke. What type was it? Sorry that he died in 2002.
Happy 43rd Wedding Anniversary!♥️🎉
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After waiting to hear back about whether I could even book a vaccine appointment in my town I went online this morning and looked at the neighbouring municipality - I'm booked for the 28th (unless there are shortages). Sometimes politely waiting your turn is not the way to go.
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Llama,

Strokes are hard. My dad had a stroke and was never the same again.

Didn’t your dad die years before your mom like my dad did. My dad died in 2002. Mom misses him so much. They were married over 50 years.

I can’t believe that I will be married 43 years on the 22nd of this month!
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Elaine, I do love all the fancy bath products. That’s my biggest splurge, I suppose. I am not a big shopper but I do buy bath goodies. Yes, occasionally I will pour a glass of wine to sip and play my favorite music. It is soothing.
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Thanks so much for your kind words, Chris.

I appreciate everyone’s thoughtfulness.
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Yes, that was great, Chris about putting into context our parents' lives. Though my dad lived a short life, passing at age 50, my mom lived to age 94 and worked outside the home until almost 80 among other things.
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Need, sorry you are struggling at the moment. Go easy on yourself. It’s a difficult time, and there are no rules to say how you should or shouldn’t be feeling right now. I was very distressed at my father’s appearance before he died - probably more distressed than his actual death, which I felt was a release for him. In time and by speaking with his care team I’ve managed to put this into context as part of his otherwise long, active and fulfilled life, and this brought me some comfort. Do get help if you need it, and remember we are all here to support you.
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Needhelpwithmom, please get some rest. I know it’s difficult. I know to turn my mind off I sometimes have to take some NyQuil. It does the trick. I don’t like taking any kind of sleep aids but when the racing thoughts start, sometimes grabbing a swig of NyQuil helps. I’m sure a swig of booze would help too. Sometimes just a nice soothing bath with some nice soothing music helps tremendously. Even something simple as having your husband rub your back or give you a massage will help. My husband did that for me, he still does it when I ask him to.

Be gentle with yourself. We are all here for you. Hugs!!!!
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Need: Get your rest. Virtual hugs sent. It's extremely hard. I am so sorry that your mother is so thin. Once my mom suffered the ischemic stroke, her eyes shut, never to open again but she was still alive. I was by myself with her in a different state when a single tear rolled down her cheek. I only had myself to comfort me.
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Goodnight to all of you.

I am exhausted. I kept telling myself that I was fully prepared to face the time left with mom in hospice.

Now I wonder if that is true. The last couple of days, I find myself going from frozen or numb to losing it and I cry and cry watching a skeleton with flesh covering it. It is horrible to see a person become skin and bones.

Maybe tomorrow will be a bit easier.

I just want to go lie down and turn my mind off for awhile. I need to rest.

Thanks to all who offer support on this forum. It is very much appreciated.
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Gershun: You're very welcome.🌈
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Feeling accomplished.

Spoke to Medicare and now have online access. Called reverse mortgage to get online monthly statements. Emailed hospital tech support to have online access to Mom’s wellness visits and tests (since she doesn’t communicate with me).
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Thx Llama, I will.

NHWM I pray every night for everyone on here but it never hurts to be reminded.🙏
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I am deeply touched by some of the posters on this site.

So many people have suffered tremendously, caring for others. Many have sacrificed their lives for them.

Others struggle trying to balance work and family along side their caregiving. Some caregivers have health problems of their own.

I am going to say a special prayer for all of us that are caregivers, either at home or monitoring their loved ones care in a facility or receiving hospice care.

If anyone else would like to offer up a prayer with me for all caregivers and their loved ones, I would be happy to have the company.

Wishing peace for all of you.
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Gershun: That's good news. Rest up, though so that the cold or bronchitis doesn't worsen.🌈
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Thx everyone for the well wishes but thankfully I don't have covid. I got my test result back via text on my phone. So I probably have a cold or bronchitis. But no covid. Yay!!!
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Gershun,

Wishing you the best.
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Gershun: Please take care and don't let the cough worsen. I certainly was shocked to have contracted pneumonia.
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I hope you don't have covid, Gershun. If you do, hope it's a mild case and over quick but there are always the "regular" bugs, too. It's good to know for sure.

I have an appointment for my vaccine next Tuesday. I had tried a few times on the local websites -- finally got the appointment at one of the mass vac sites set up in the city. It will be good to get it done.

My roommate situation is ongoing and I'm hoping I'm doing the right thing by waiting for the full 30 day notice to be up, then I'll file a protective order ASAP. I'm concerned that a judge will say my situation is not really a problem since I didn't file an emergency order but... I just don't know. I've read about the different levels of protective orders and think this tactic will be ok, and I will get credit for giving proper notice and it being ignored by N. I just don't know about any of this and I worry... but I try not to and just focus on taking things a day at a time.

There have been some minor incidents at the apartment with N the past few days but thankfully she's been on much better behavior since the cameras went up. She took my personal towels hanging up in the bathroom yesterday. She's taken 15 or so towels in the past month and I asked her in the past to stop and use her own towels. But she took my used hanging ones...???? Why?? She has several of her own. She gave them back to me and claimed she took them to wash them for me. She doesn't do my laundry and I don't do hers. Her straight-faced denials/excuses make me think she uses meth because that's the only time I've seen that kind of thing. She took my used toothbrush, too. I never did get it back -- not that I'd use it again! lol -- and N never responded to my questions about it. It's just weird and unsettling all around. I suppose it's better that N takes weird, inexpensive things than something else...? She took my headphones I use when I do school work. I miss them and have asked for them back -- no response. I'll get more things. I just need N to move out and move on.
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