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It hasn't even been 24 hours since interior cameras went up. N is putting all her stuff in bags outside her room, like she is moving. We will see.

It's like she knows she can't continue on as she has all day and night with cameras here. If this works to get her out, it will be the best $255 I've ever spent. I was willing to spend much more trying to go through the legal system, whatever it would take.

Very draining. Thanks for allowing me to share and vent, and giving input and support. I'm probably an emotionally fragile person on my best day, unfortunately. I definitely didn't need this level of chaos in my life.
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I think some people are living on the edge and have never had the opportunity to save.
I think some people would rather look for a handout than try to make do or open their wallets even if they have the resources.
I think some people are very "ducks in a row" and some are much more "let the chips fall where they may" kind of thinkers
And I think that the life plan of many of our oldest generation was to have died 10 or 20 years ago without years and decades of frailty and ill health - the way their parent's generation did.
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I’ve thought about this over the months. We get questions frequently from people who want “free” ramps, stair lifts, grass cutting, house cleaning etc. I know that circumstances and finances are different for everyone but, it seems that there are a lot of people who do no planning and those who don’t step up and help their family members. My husband and I help his two elderly aunts every week. We clean, do yard work, grocery shop, etc. I help my uncle who is 85 and in the nursing home. I do his laundry, do personal shopping and visit twice a week.

Getting old is not cheap and it is certainly not free. Does anyone else share this pinion or am I hanging out here all alone.
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I think I've figured out what I need to do to build a case for restraining order, if N doesn't leave willingly. Some days she says she will, the next day she says she's staying forever. I don't trust her to leave on her own, though I'd be so grateful if she did.

I have 3 new interior cameras to monitor her behavior. They are all in common use rooms, so no expectation of privacy. I hated to do it but given what's happened, it was necessary. And I may have a referral or two for a local lawyer that will help me with a restraining order.

She will be driving me nuts in the meantime with her erratic and volatile behavior.

And no more roommates until this eviction moratorium is lifted.
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Ali: Your roommate, "N" perhaps had a rare second of lucidity to give you those gifts. It's fortunate that you didn't trip over the stolen faux flowers! I hope that she gets some help for her crutch. I hope you can rid her of your life.
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My word, Ali. She is a nutcase!

I am glad that you were able to fall back asleep.

Take care, my friend. It’s got to get better. I hate to think about it getting any worse!
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I was able to fall back asleep and I'm so glad! I needed it. I've been tired. I open my bedroom door to some fake flowers (taken from neighbor lady) on a tray from the living room on the floor right in front of my door, endless post-it notes, a $20 bill, a cup. :-D There were other things strewn about. I was rushing to meet the dishwasher repairman at the front door who woke me up with his calls. I can laugh now but it was an abrupt experience and I told N to leave me alone. At least she seems in a better, if still chaotic, mood than yesterday. I took pictures. I can't imagine telling a judge or anyone -- "My roommate puts stolen fake flowers outside my door. I need a restraining order." 😆 N said something about "Native American artist peace offering, Happy Easter." I reminded her she called the police yesterday and told them I stabbed her, so forgive me if I find all of this really scary. Sigh.
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Ali,

Good prayer!

Let her stew for a bit. Drink your coffee, eat breakfast, take a shower!

Then let her back in. Take a loooooong time! 😆 I like the idea of not replacing her key!
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I just heard on our local news that vinyl is outselling cds by 50 percent! Too funny.

I admit that I wish I still had my record collection! I have tons of cds but guess what? No CD player!!! The new cars don’t have them.

Oh well. My kids say that I am out of the loop!
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I just woke up early, 6am, to use the bathroom. I'm usually not up this early; my alarm goes off at 8. I can see that N has been up all night, and she must've locked herself out of the apartment for the 100th time. I can't provide her with additional key sets fast enough and I'm not giving her anymore. She's been singing and dancing outside, ringing the doorbell every hour all night. Notifications are off. I know I have to let her in but... this just feels like waking up to a nightmare.

God, grant me the serenity.
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AIi so sorry for this horrible disruption in your life. I'm also concerned about you combining prescribed sedatives with stuff like ashwagandha. The two should not be taken together I think. Be careful.
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Ali: Wow - so sorry that you're going through this with the roommate. Perhaps, as someone suggested, she could be placed in a psych hold in a hospital. I am very concerned about your safety.
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Ali,

You have your first piece of documentation!

Screw ups always make mistakes. She just made a major one by leaving a paper trail where you were not charged with anything!

She’s a trouble maker! Her pattern will start showing.

Hang in there, Ali. We are pulling for you. Hugs!
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You guys are great. I knew you would be. If anyone has gotten through tough situations in life, it's caregivers. :-)

I notified professors. I may not need the extension but I have it. I'm working on homework now and the house has been quiet. I think N went to sleep finally.

But... not before police were called by her and she claimed I stabbed her. Obviously I didn't stab her but this is just getting bonkers. She had been on a yelling rampage throughout the apartment and then was kicking really hard on the door as I'm sitting in the spare room doing homework and was saying "This is a really nice room, maybe I'll move in here. It's my place now." I pushed her -- more like restrained her as she was coming in to a spare room where I'm just sitting at the little desk, minding my own business -- and after I pushed her out I retreated to the room. I heard her on the phone to 911 and what she was saying. I called them myself to tell them the truth. CPD finally came and I showed them videos of N last night and overnight from Ring. They left after giving us both documentation to file a domestic abuse incident.

In a way, this is good. It's LEO documentation of things. She is saying she will file charges against me and sue me. I don't think she has a leg to stand on but I'm also not dealing with a rational person. My landlady said she will write a letter on my behalf for a judge. So... I'm slowly working towards evidence for a restraining order... I hope?! I would gladly hand this off to a lawyer to handle for me. I'll keep working to find one that will help.

This went from barely tolerable to a living nightmare real fast.

I appreciate your comments and PMs. I'm holding it together somehow. I will do One Day At A Time, just like bad caregiving situations.

*I ordered extra interior cameras for the apartment and they should be here tomorrow. My manager was very kind and I'm off the next two days. I have Ashwagandha and turmeric tea and I'm surprised how calm I feel after drinking some, making some now. One Day At A Time.
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Ali,

Great suggestion from Send to notify your professors.

Take advantage of any opportunity to use in not getting behind in school.

You’re doing great though. You’re focusing on what’s most important.

It’s terribly frustrating and unfortunate to have been bombarded with your roommate’s outbursts during this hectic time in your life.

Exams are a lot of pressure under any circumstances. This makes it 1,000 times harder to deal with.

Keep the faith. Keep plugging away, find quiet places to study. Look forward to the day this is behind you.

When my daughter had roommate issues, she studied at the park, the library and coffee shops.

She had a great landlord that asked a policeman that rented a few doors down from her to make sure her ex boyfriend didn’t show up in her parking lot.

My daughter went through a few crappy roomies as well. One of them had a drug issue and had strange guys sleeping over. When one of the guys went into her room one night claiming that he accidentally opened her door, she had enough and broke her lease and moved.

I realize that you may not be able to do that. It’s not convenient.

My daughter was lucky and knew of another student who was looking for a new roommate and so she had a place to move into.

Life gets messy sometimes. It will work on your last nerve. I hope things start to look up for you soon.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Ali,
You are having an exigent circumstance, and can invite law enforcement into your home anytime. A person doing drugs will have drugs in their possession/home/car/purse at some time.

What is an example of an exigent circumstance?
An exigent circumstance, in the criminal procedure law of the United States, allows law enforcement, under certain circumstances, to enter a structure without a search warrant or, if they have a "knock and announce" warrant, without knocking and waiting for the owner's permission to enter.
Vs.
How Long Does it Take to Evict a Chicago Tenant? (Prior to Covid):
Chicago evictions have a reputation for taking forever, to the point where many landlords seek to avoid it at all costs, sometimes even choosing to tolerate tenants who are months behind in rent.
Unfortunately, the reputation of long Chicago evictions is at least somewhat earned. However, the earlier you start the process the sooner you can have your rental unit back, and using a Chicago Eviction attorney to navigate the process can make it go as fast as possible.
Generally speaking, the earliest you can expect to physically evict a tenant out of your unit is around 2 months from the date you give the tenant notice of his/her violation, but this largely depends on several circumstances.
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Ali,
When I had experienced a similar situation in my life,
I went to the instructor and explained how I could not think straight with what was happening at home. He gave me an extension to complete my final and turn it in. I was older than the average college student at the time.

Another few times, I recall asking my brother to help me in a very difficult situation. He was reluctant, but did, twice. It seems to have involved other people on drugs.

I never needed to ask an attorney to help me evict someone. But I always complied with the law.
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Send,

Good suggestions. Unfortunately, the psychiatric holds aren’t all that long.

It’s going to be a tough fight for Ali.

I’m hoping that she lands with the best judge for her situation.

Having the right judge makes all the difference in the world!

Still, I would be concerned about how Covid is effecting convictions. This is a challenge for Ali.

So sad.
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Ali,
When I was taking my finals in college, I had to go to a motel to study those last few days.

I just could not do husband care, cooking, etc. AND my studies. I went home in the daytime when no one was there to check on things/only when I had a break.

Is the library open in your area?
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Ali,
The Moratorium on evictions does not supercede law enforcement from intervening in criminal activities.

You perceive a real threat to your safety.

When you are ready, search "How to legally remove a drug addict from your home."

The advice I have read says to consult law enforcement.

Additionally, when tenant is at her craziest behavior, she can be placed on a psychiatric hold by calling 911 out of concern for her welfare and for your safety. Ideally, then you can ask a judge to not have her returned to your home. So many ways to deal with the problem. When you are ready.

In the meantime, she can be robbing you blind coming in and out all night. Theft is also a criminal offense.

If faced with this, and having a vacant room available, I would rent to a big guy with private investigative experience or law enforcement.

My ad would look like this:
Room available for 30 days to an individual preferred to have law enforcement experience.

Or something like that.
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Oh, Ali

I’m so sorry that the eviction plan was squashed.

Go for the restraining order and hope to get a sympathetic judge.

My daughter went through getting a restraining order while she was in college for an ex boyfriend attending the same university.

It’s tough to get a restraining order. Thank God she had proof of everything. This monster went after my daughter and also her toy poodle. He ended up blinding the dog. It was awful!

He even tried to kill himself and blame it on her because she broke up with him! The police took him to a mental institution.

She got the restraining order, even though his attorney tried everything under the sun to discredit her.

My daughter had an excellent attorney who had been through her own abuse in the past.

Without proof, you don’t have a shot in h*ll of getting one.

Best of luck to you. Document everything! Have witnesses on hand to verify facts.
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{{{{{{HUGS ALI }}}}}}}
💞🧸️🆘🧸️💞
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Thanks guys, I am muy upset. I talked to a Tenant Law attorney briefly and she advised that the covid moratorium on evictions are still active for my area, and that they have been renewed every 30 days for the past year. Even past the 30 days notice, I will not be able to file an eviction.

She advised filing for a temporary restraining order. I have evidence, but not sure it will meet whatever burden the judge wants. But... I will try this. Attorney gave me some tips.
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ali (((((((hugs))))). You are doing the right things.
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Many hugs, Ali! Wishing the best for you.
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Sigh. I called a lawyer and hopefully will get a call back. N texted me to say she won't be moving out, that she can stay for 5 months. She mentioned "Hillary Clinton" randomly in the middle of a rambling, incoherent reply...

I looked at front door cam and she's been up all night, in and out of the house... like usual. And... I just have to get my school work done and turned in, in spite of the upset. Time for big girl pants. I'm trying.
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(((((Hugs)))))), Ali.
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🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
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I put a Notice To Quit on N's door, and mentioned the previous notices I gave by text. I did some research and since she is not on the lease, and the simple Roommate Agreement I do states terms as month-to-month, it is at-will tenancy and I can revoke it. I thought as much but it was reassuring to read that again. I included reasons she is being given notice even though it's at-will, and listed the drugs, property damage, and disruptive behavior.

I'm just hoping she gets it and agrees to move out on her own, and I don't have to get a lawyer involved. I tried calling a couple today but was asked to leave messages for them so didn't pursue that for now.

My stress levels are redlining. I'm shaking at times and can't think. On the plus side, I had my virtual Psych appointment this morning and I can start the mood stabilizer again. Fingers crossed it helps balance the stress.

I need a hug. 😬
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Glad... I'm not so sure N is an addict. An addict would have come from rehab grounded by the experience and behaving at least a little bit different.. imho. I think this behavior is largely due to personality or psychological disorder. I really don't know what to make of it. N says she's been addicted to heroin and cocaine for 20 years. That kind of addiction makes people homeless, and things would show up in a criminal background check.

I'm considering right now that getting all roommates out would be for the best. But then again, as much as I wouldn't want to subject anyone else to this chaos, having another person here during this time would be reassuring. :-/ I'm lost on what to do. I'll contact a lawyer tomorrow.

The last gal (E) who lived here had also observed and commented on N's behavior, and while E never said she moved out because of N, she gave her notice and commented on all of N's craziness on the same day, in the same text message, and moved out after being here for a year. E was great. People like E are great and it's nice to have their company. N is... something else.
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