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Hello worriedinCalif, I know how you feel, my mother had major surgery at Mass General when she was in her mid 80's. and she did fine. I was allowed in the recovery room for a few minutes, I promised I would check on her but also for myself to ease my mind, it was so difficult waiting. I was so anxious but I prayed to God to help her and she did very well. I do not think the surgeon would do the surgery if he/she did not think she would do well. I never had a DNR status until my mom was 95. I know it is difficult but try to honor your moms wishes and leave it at that. Think positive thoughts, know God will do what is best for your mother. She should do well. Like you said she is a strong person. I lit a candle for your mom today and said a special prayer. Take good care. Hugs to you and your dear mom.
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(((worriedinCali)))
chances are good that even though you may not have thought about it she has, I doubt that makes the conversation any easier though.
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(((Hugs))) Cali, one thing at a time...deep breath, everything will work itself out.
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Thank you all so much. We are in the surgery center now and she is about to put on the gown. I popped in here because I am about to break down! I forgot to ask her last night if she wants us to have her revived if she goes in to cardiac arrest (mom has advanced COPD, her health is fragile so we are concerned about going under anesthesia). I don’t know if I can ask her without crying! She has always m made it clear she never wants advanced life saving measures but I keep thinking what if....what if she has changed her mind and she wants us to save her! God please give me the strength! I do not want to break down and upset her!
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Cali, thinking about you and your mom today. I hope she has a speedy recovery and is comforted knowing the cancer is gone from her body.
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Cali, wishing you and your mum all the best today. Hopefully when she is in recovery, the two of you can spend some quality time together just doing simple things: watching TV, enjoying a meal, and generally just looking after yourselves.
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Cali, (((((hugs)))) and good thoughts for your mom.
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Worried, hope all goes well for mom and you!
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worriedinCalif, sending my thoughts and prayers to your mom and you. Hope she does well during the surgery and recovers well. Praying for peace and strength for both of you .
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WorriedInCA, my best to you and your mom on her surgery. Wishing her a successful operation and a speedy recovery.
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Cali,

Will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.
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EB and Llama,

The name of the bed and breakfast in New Hampshire that we stayed at was, Inn at Thorn Hill. Jackson was a tiny little town.
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Tomorrow is the big day, my mom has her double mastectomy. CANCER BE GONE!! She’s feeling very anxious all of a sudden & I don’t know how to help her. She’s been fine since I got here around 3 this afternoon. It’s almost 9pm and now she’s anxious. I told her she’s the strongest woman I know and she’s going to be fine. Tomorrow, the cancer will be out of her body and it will be a rough 2 weeks but we will get through it and the cancer will be out of her body!!! She is anxious tonight. Tomorrow I know I will be very emotional but I must stay strong for her!!!!!

On a random night.....she just told he one of her best friends grandson was just arrested for double murder!! I saw the press release & booking photo and my first thought was that he looks a lot like S*** and he has her old last name (she remarried about 10 years ago). 4 years ago, there was a shooting on the east side of town. 2 men were killed, 2 were injured. I remember listening to this on the scanner, my husband was working that night. They caught the suspect vehicle shortly after and detained 3 suspects. That is the last I heard about it. My mom said her friends grandson abruptly moved away right after the shooting-January 2017. He was living a criminal lifestyle. So he moved away and cleaned up his life. Got a job, got married, had a couple kids. He just moved back here and.....I guess the DA issued a murder warrant sometime between 2017 and now because he was just arrested for double homicide on 1/26! I have never met him. But dang there are some strong genes in that family. He looks just like his aunt C and his grandma! I cannot imagine how the families involved feel. The victims family.....finally getting justice after 4 years! My moms good friend S, will probably never see her grandson again. He will probably spend the rest of his life in prison. S.....I cannot believe how one person can be dealt so many bad cards in life! Her oldest daughter was born disabled/mentally challenged. I don’t know what her diagnosis was but you could tell she was disabled. She died of ovarian cancer in her late 20s, about 20 years ago. S also lost her son (maybe the father of the grandson just arrested?) about 8 years ago. He was on meth. Ended up in the ICU on a ventilator for about a month and died. 3 years ago S lost her husband to cancer and then a year later she herself battled cancer.
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Llama,

We flew into Boston. We also went to Lexington, Concord and Salem. I loved the clam chowder! We don’t have clams here. We have oysters, shrimp and crawfish 🦞 and crab.

New England is beautiful in the fall.

I am surprised that my daughter is loving the snow in Denver. She doesn’t seem to mind the cold.

I do feel the job opportunities are better for her there. She loves her job.

She says that she doesn’t miss our humidity.

She has a few friends that she went to college with that are living there too.

She isn’t socializing with any of them because of Covid but they talk on the phone.

She is working remotely. She doesn’t mind working at home and her company supplied her with the computers and monitors needed.

She says that she loves seeing views of the mountains. Even rescued a Siberian Husky dog that loves the snow! LOL

What happened to the southern gal that I raised? LOL, just kidding, I want her to be her 😊.
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NeedHelpWithMom: Since we "vacationed" (NOT - WE WORKED TO EXHAUSTION each year at my mother's), New Hampshire and the White Mountains was very well known to us.
Good for you and your DH with the first class travel.💜
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Llama,

The coastline was really pretty. The lobster was fantastic! The bed and breakfast were lovely.

So long ago. We were young. No kids. Sweet memories of our youth.

Those were the days when airline comps were fantastic!

My husband used to travel with work so much, tons of points racked up due to long international travel.

So our airfare, (first class) was free! Discounts on certain hotels and car rentals.

No discount on B&B’s but they are so charming in New England that we had to stay in a few of them.
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NeedHelpWithMom: Those New England towns ARE small. Omg - my mother's favorite beach was at Kennebunkport.

A cousin's son and a close family friend have a maple sugaring business. We have some that will keep for a long time. Nothing better.

No thanks to hot weather! Pass - I need AC for the humidity of Maryland.
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EB,

Not to mention the delicious Vermont maple syrup, right? Yummy!
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Pam: Massachusetts WAS in 6 feet walls of snow. Sure it gets a lot of snow, but it used to get more. I should know since I was the one shoveling it when I had to move back there to take care of my mother. I did recall that you also live in Maryland. Taking on being the owner of a B&B would not be retirement. I love winter driving. Even mastered my former rear wheel drive auto.
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EB: I love Mt. Washington!❄❄❄
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NeedHelp,
We took my mother to the Mt Washington Hotel on her birthday in her eighties. We absolutely loved the area. I used to ski Mt Snow in VT and Mt Mansfield in Stowe VT, Stayed at the Von Trapp Lodge on occasion. I love Vermont especially in the fall, when the colors are so vivid and beautiful.
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Pam and Llama,

Years ago my husband and I stayed in a quaint bed and breakfast in Jackson, NH. It was located at the foot of Mt. Washington. Very small town!

That was a fun trip. We flew into Boston. Went to several places in Massachusetts, Stowe, Vermont, Kennebunkport, Maine and Jackson, New Hampshire.
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LLama,, I had to laugh when I read your mention of 6 foot snow walls! I live in MD, but we used to vacation in NH every year.. and we adore it! I hate snow,, but my dream was to open a BNB in NH when we retire,, I said I could get used to it when I didn;t HAVE to drive in it.. One year we saw those snow walls.. and I said OK,, I can do this.. it's not like you can slide off the road! Now my dream has changed,, Hubs pointed out that I would be working harder owning a BNB than I do at my job,, but I would have still missed all those people I could have met
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Little kids don't feel the cold water in the swimming pools or lakes either.They just jump right in~
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cwille,

You are so dead on! You’re absolutely correct about kids!

Snowing is so rare here! Usually, only a few flurries.

Well, one year when I was a kid, sorry I can’t remember the exact year. I know that I was young though.

We had a fair amount of snow, and my younger brother and I wanted to go play in it. My mom said, “No, you can’t. It’s too cold!”

Daddy was always respectful of my mom but he told my mom that he wanted to show us how to build a snowman and said she could make sure we were bundled up enough so we could go build a snowman.

Mom told my dad that she would get out our hats, mittens and jackets on and then we could go build a snowman with my daddy.

It’s still one of my very favorite memories with my dad. I was having so much fun that I don’t remember being cold 😊.
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Kids are just too stupid to realize how cold they are - when I was little we didn't have any of the clothing that kids (and grownups) have today, we played outside for hours in our rubber barn boots with a felt insole added for warmth, simple knit mittens, and regular pants (no snow pants).
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Llama,

I remember not being bothered by the cold as a child. I ran and played outside.

As I grew older, I became more sensitive to the cold.

I have super cold hands if it is cold. If my feet are cold I am miserable!
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NeedHelpWithMom: I do NOT relish the heat at all. My Norse son in law and I both prefer it cold. In fact, I don't even own a winter jacket. Just need a lightweight one.
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It's frigid here. I'm so tired of snow. Well, to be fair, it's not the snow I'm tired of, it's the shoveling. But at least the sun is bright today, and thee sky is a gorgeous color of blue. Now if it were 65 degrees, it would be just perfect!
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Llama,

You’re a tough cookie regarding the cold weather!

I am such a wuss! LOL
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