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Just thinking and dreaming of Springtime.
Spring is right around the corner.
Planning crops, and ordered more bees. I can't wait for Spring. Flowers, birds and butterfly migration, planting and harvesting.
Maybe I will hatch some baby chicks. (I love baby chicks :) )

It will be here before we know it. :)
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I saw that Send, but what I'm thinking of is an episode where they detailed a UC Davis study and several of the participants. I think I remember that the participants had been part of a study of some kind for the previous decade or longer and it offered a unique opportunity for the researchers because of all the accumulated data.
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Cwillie,
Is this close?
60 Minutes
CBS This Morning
Morning Rounds
Decade of Decline
https://www.cbsnews.com/video/60-minutes-report-traces-progression-of-alzheimers-for-10-years/

They followed the patient and her husband for 10 years.
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Techie I had already read that there are many more people with plaques and tangles than there are with ALZ, this was made abundantly clear in the UC Davis Alzheimer's study featured by 60 minutes (funny I can't find a link to it, but it must have been almost a decade ago?). This is one of the reasons it irritates me that social and political attention is so focused on ALZ rather than "dementia", it think it will likely be discovered that alzheimer's is not necessarily what we think it is - we already distinguish between early onset and other forms - and that the less well known dementias and their risk factors play a greater role than we currently give to them.
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Interesting article on ALZ...
https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/03/opinions/diagnosing-treating-alzheimers-opinion-devi/index.html
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Here in Vancouver people steal the copper inscription off of headstones so they can sell it. Pretty pathetic.
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Send...I guess the grave robber needed the holly I left in the coffee can more too,because I just drove by there and it's gone too and I guess my Uncle didn't tell me that to protect my heart.
There were wreaths and fresh little Christmas trees on other graves,I saw today,but for some reason,they stole ours.
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Lucky, that is just awful! I really cannot believe that are lowlifes out there that will steal wreathes and flowers from the dead! So far nothing we’ve left at my MILs grave has been stolen. I must admit I was a little taken back when I went out there one day and my SIL had left a nice vase (my husband for some reason chose NOT to include the vase option on the headstone) and she had taped a note to the back of it saying it belongs to MIL and should not be taken or thrown away. Now I see why she did that and I put the same note when I leave a vase.

Unrelated.....on New Year’s Day the local news stringer posted video footage he shot of the CHP out with a drunk driver at around 4 in the afternoon. It was a homecaregiver still in her scrubs who said she had had a few drinks. I can’t help but wonder...considering the timing....was she drinking on the job? She looked younger, maybe late 20s early 30s and this sadly isn’t her first DUI.
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Lucky

That is just sad. I just don't understand people that can do these type of things!!!
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CWillie,
Nonenol article....I read that too.
Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize in 2020!

Aren't candles, scent diffusers, and perfumes just what the elderly love to cover up odors? I blame those products, once the scent is in the home, they are going to expire, get old, deteriorate. So I do not spray scents around the home.

Luckylu,
Your Uncle's attitude about the theft is admirable when he says:
"They must have needed it more".
I am going to copy that!
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I've tried lots of cleaners and candles and scent diffusers but whenever I return home after I've been away I still get that first whiff of old people smell, and mom's been gone long enough now that I can no longer blame her. While searching online I found and reread the AgingCare article on nonenol which states that it begins to show up when we are in our 40's... so it's me then, sigh.
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Me too NHWM, Thanks~
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So sad. Sorry about the wreath being stolen.
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What's on my mind tonight are low life grave robber's~
My Uncle put 2 beautiful fresh cut Christmas wreaths on both sides of our family's headstone at the grave and yesterday,when he came by,he told me that someone had stolen the one off his parent's side.
He said he hoped they were enjoying it and they mustv'e needed it more.
I'm just sick for him and I'll never understand how grave robber's can live with themselves.
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Anyone watching The Rose Parade in Pasadena California, started at 8 a.m.
48 degrees F.
KTLA 5 online.
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Worried,

She now makes scrabble eggs with oil. Why? I have no idea! She uses to much oil or butter and has the heat to high. This is not how she use to cook and this is all she can make. I keep telling her that she shouldn't cook anymore, but she loves her eggs. So now, I will buy her those egg cups that you scrabble the egg in the cup and put it into the microwave. I hope she likes them.

My sig other took off one of the nobs on the stove, but you can still turn the burner on. Go figure!

It is really hard to tell some one that was a good cook that they can't cook anymore! She thinks she cooks like she use to and doesn't believe me because in her mind she is find and we are wrong! Ugh!(

I think that might just be the worst part about this disease...they just don't see what they are doing doesn't make sense or isn't how things are done!(
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Shell was your mom trying to make a fried egg then? Those egg cups sound like a good solution for her.
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Pam yes my mom is like that but if you use the right words with her, she’ll let you help her! The only thing she doesn’t like doing herself is walking, go figure. And I hate complaining about it but she’s gotta stay mobile and active! I know with her breathing, it’s HARD And it SUCKs being short of breath but she is wanting to walk less and less! So the only thing she wants us to do to help her is drive the car right up to her so she doesn’t have to walk. I wish she would walk a little more and let us help her get in & out.

it is 55 here today. I wish it was 66! It’s cold and foggy. I had to turn the heater on an hour ago because it got down to 62 in here!

happy new year everyone!
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Staceyb, Thank you for your kind words. Frustration does get the best of us at times.

MsMadge, I wish it was 77 degrees where I live. Here it is 27 degrees with the real feel being 11. UGH

Send, 66 degrees is great outdoors weather. I would be happy if it was 50 degrees. LOL!!




Happy New Year's everybody. I hope all of you have a safe and a great new year. God please let 2020 be better then 2019! 🎆🎉🌟🎂😁
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Oh Worried, if your mom is like mine telling her to wait for you would have been pointless.. Mom is always saying "I can do it" when she obviously cant do it.. She gets out of the car and takes off while I am coming around to get her, and I swear she goes faster if she knows I am coming! Like you my new truck is high off the ground,,she sort of slides out.., I keep waiting to have to get her up off the ground,, Its like a toddler..
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Shell,
It happens to the best of caregivers.
I started boiling several eggs at once, so I would not have to stand in the kitchen cooking and drive hubs, as I was rushed and trying to get ready.
It was then that I would get irritable.

An online instructional refreshed my abilities to make hard boiled eggs, starting with cold water, once they start to boil, cook 10 minutes. Eggs for 3 days!
Your Mom won't need to cook.

Took a lot of pressure off of me. Sometimes, I even peeled them for dH.

2020 is going to be a better year, as we ourselves learn, and learn, and
re-learn.
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So crisp and clear today! A bit windy where we live. Just heard that California is losing a congressional seat (they say first time in history) due to people leaving the state.

When people say: "First time in history", I take that to mean this may not be a true statement.

When I was living in San Francisco area, there was a rumor that fog covered the Golden Gate Bridge. When it was often clear, most of the time....in fact,
I understood why the rumor, so too many people would not visit or move there
if there was that much rumored fog.

Just cannot say how beautiful all of California may be. It is probably not as nice as today, or even as nice as we say!

MsMadge,
It will be much colder tomorrow for the parade, with temperatures dropping to 48 degrees F overnight (poor parade goers camping out)!! And tomorrow's high only 66. They will never come back to California now. Yay. One just cannot trust California!
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It is a beautiful 70 degrees here today - wonder how many people will want to move here after seeing the parade tomorrow?
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Shell, frustration happens to the best of us, simply apologize, tell her you love her and were so tired a moment and get on with the day, you are a great daughter and Caregiver! We would be superhuman if we didn't get upset now and then, and we are not!
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Thank you NHWM, Polarbear, Worried, Countrymouse you guys are the best and I just love all of you and thank you for your support.

NHWM, you are probably right that it was a knee jerk reaction and the fact that I haven't been sleeping very good for weeks. Although, I am not sure if my mother knows that I love her because she has hurt me so much in the past 3 yrs that now I just have a wall around me and I don't tell her much of anything. But I will tell her later today that I do love her and that I am sorry. Most the time I do feel like I am a bad daughter...like I can't do anything right!

Polarbear you are so right! I once spilled dish soap all over the floor when I was about 8yrs old and she not only yelled at me but she beat my a$$ & I had to help her clean up the mess. I am trying to tell myself that I am just human and I had a human reaction. She may not remember it at all. Thank you for your point-of-view. God it helps!

Worried, I wasn't home when she did it and she said that she tried cooking some eggs. I am going to buy her those egg cups that you add an egg into this breakfast cup and put it into the microwave. My sig other really likes them. But you are right too. She has done this before on the old stove so I should have planned ahead. And that is my fault. I also wonder why didn't I just cleaned up the mess and let it go. I will do better next time!

Countrymouse, I would have been just as upset if my cat did it. But for some reason I think I might have gotten over it sooner because it was a cat. I think sometimes I forget that my mother is a whole different person now. That her brain really is broken! The stove is only a few weeks old (very expensive) and my mother has never respected me or my things. I guess, I was thinking she just did this to be mean, but now I see she probably really didn't mean to do it. The one thing I am not is superhuman!

Thank you all for helping me see that am just human and I can make a mistake and it doesn't make me an awful person...just a human being. I will have a talk with her today and no I won't bring up the oil mess. I am not sure if she will even remember. Her and I can come up with a plan so she can have her eggs and keep the new stove intact.

Much Hugs to all of you! God all of you are just so awesome!
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Shell,

You are one of the sweetest people on this forum! You are not a terrible daughter. You’re a wonderful daughter.

Don’t you think it was more of a knee jerk reaction? I do. We all have those moments. Your mom knows that you love her. Give her a hug and kiss tomorrow and you will feel better.

It’s hard to be a caregiver. Really hard. Forgive yourself. I am not going to let you be overly hard on yourself. You always picked me up when I was down and I hope that I can help somewhat.

You have a big heart and that’s why this hurts you so much. It probably bothers you more than your mom.

Hugs!
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Shell- If it was you, young and careless, who spilled oil all over your mother's kitchen, she probably would have lost it and screamed at you just as much if not more, and them made you clean it up. Nothing is wrong with you. With dementia, she probably won't remember it tomorrow. Just breathe and forgive yourself.
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Shell, you aren’t a terrible daughter at all. You are allowed to get angry with your mother. If it helps, think of it as getting angry at the dementia. You didn’t get angry at your mother, you got angry at the dementia. There’s nothing wrong with you. It is HARD taking care of an aging parent let alone one with dementia. Please don’t beat yourself up!

I got annoyed with my mom on Christmas night and I still feel horrible. The kids & I went and picked her up at her hotel after she went to take a nap. I pulled in to our driveway and told her to be careful when she opened the door, because the basketball hoop is right there. And of course, she opened her door and the door of my brand new $63k car hit the basketball hoop. She felt just awful. Thank god there was no dent because hubby would have killed me. And I got short with mom after she opened the door and said “well I did it”. and she could tell I was upset! It was totally my fault too. And my husbands. I don’t know why he doesn’t move that damn thing. High winds knocked it down on to the Honda in October and shattered the mirror and left a black mark on the door (a week before I totaled it!). And now here we are parking an expensive SUV next to it! Anyway she has mobility issues and is on oxygen and she has to grab her purse and her oxygen concentrator & it’s tubing when she gets out and the tubing and purse strap get tangled so what I should have done is had her wait for me to come around & help her out. She doesn’t like me to help her, she doesn’t like depending on others and she never wants to burden anyone & I respect her independence but this one is really my fault and I should have helped her! I should have at the very least gone over and held the door. And I too can’t believe I chose to get mad rather than just say “no worries mom, it happens”. Why didn’t I just say that?

Shell, just tell yourself you’ll do better next time. And hold yourself to it. That’s what I am going to do. Not gonna let anything annoy me and make me mad anymore when it comes to mom.
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There was oil all over your lovely new stove. Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh! It wasn't surprising that you felt like that about it, it's just that you spilled some of the aaarggghhh onto your poor mother. If she remembers it or seems upset or subdued in the morning, apologise (just about having been cross with her, don't mention the oil) and give her extra reassurance.

I don't think being infuriated about an infuriating mess means there is anything wrong with you, does it? Wouldn't it be superhuman not to have a paddy about it? You'd have been just as cross (and just as unreasonably so) if it had been the cat who did it.
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On my mind...I am a horrible daughter. I yelled at my mother for getting oil all over my new stove. I just lots it. How does someone scream at their mother who is old and has dementia? I mean really...I try so hard to be a good person and yet I lost it...I am awful!!! I know I made her feel bad and she went to sleep early and I don't know if it was because of me or she was just tired! I have been pretty short with her lately. What is wrong with me?😢
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