On My Mind

Always post a kind comment to others.
A positive outlook will have you being kind to yourself too!

Did not feel it, Compton CA, must have been down graded to a 3.5, with about two very small Compton events after that.
Woke you up Ms. Madge?
Why didn't Tweety bird tell me, I wonder?

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzz!

Yes, know what you mean about siblings, Gershun.

Unfortunately, my mom pitted us against each other.

Glad you had a good relationship with your mom. I did too, off and on.

My grandparents though, they were my constant source of love.

I didn't see the interview but I loved my mom deeply, almost too much if there can be such a thing. I knew I'd take her passing hard and it's been a long journey to get past the grief. I'm still working on it.

As for my relationship with my siblings. There isn't much of one. I discovered a strength I never knew was there being caregiver for my mom and it became even more apparent to me how little my sibs respected me. How little they respected my mom. Their lack of kindness and empathy is astounding to me. They are truly mean, selfish, self-centered idiots. I have very little to do with any of them anymore. They can come to me now. I'm done groveling for any kind of affection from them.

Did anyone see the interview with Elton John on CBS Sunday Morning News show? It was interesting. He was asked about his troubled relationship with his mom. He said she worked very hard to support them.

Apparently they had been estranged. She never wanted to meet his children. She didn’t like his partner in life and so forth.

Anyway, Elton reached out to her before she died and he told her that he loved her. She said she loved him too but did not like him. He told her that was okay and he accepted how she felt.

He wrote his autobiography. He wants his children to be able to read his story when they get older. His kids are young so he knows that he won’t live long enough to see them in when they are older adults and this way they will know what their dad was like when they are ready to read his words.

It makes me wonder, how many mothers truly don’t like their children? Or how many children despise their parents? It’s certainly not a given that there will automatically be love because of being family, right?

I can attest to the same thing as far as siblings go. I can’t say that I like my brothers.

Does anyone envy people who do have a warm loving relationship with their family?

Did somebody say earthquake ?

I hate them during the middle of the night even if it was only tiny - 3.7

made a late night run to hoca to check on the Viking - she's on antibiotics again - she told me she didn't feel well - I asked her what was bothering her the most - she replied, too many things

deleted by poster.

"When  I die
Give what’s left of me away
To children
And old men that wait to die.

And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you
And when you need me,
Put your arms
Around anyone
And give to them
What you need to give to me.

I want to leave you something,
Something better
Than words
Or sounds.

Look for me
In the people I’ve known
Or loved,
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live in your eyes
And not on your mind.

You can love me most
By letting
Hands touch hands
By letting
Bodies touch bodies
And by letting go
Of children
That need to be free.

Love doesn’t die,
People do.
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away"
Merrit Malloy

This time of year you can't really 3itch about cold, wet, dark and dreary weather because somebody is bound to say "at least it isn't snow!". They're right of course, but still...
(and to all of those who already have had so much snow I'm sorry, but I can't help but feel better you than me)

Will be thinking of you as you do the right things for yourself, CWillie.

Finally got a call this morning and will meet my doctor next Tuesday to make a plan.

Falling asleep lately. I cannot even read through the longer posts anymore.
But don't shorten them on my account. I will be asleep.

I hear ya Lu. Some of my best memories are of my mom and I shopping and going for lunch.

Sending prayers out to the Viking Madge and you too! (((((Madge))))) Hugs!

The Viking is ill again - looking like maybe we didn't get the UTI knocked out - so now we wait for the lab results

I hear ya Ginger~
Shopping used to be a special treat.
I remember the smell when I entered and the beautiful store window displays,especially at Christmastime.
Now,all the stores look the same and your'e right,the clothes aren't the quality they once were.
When I was a little girl,every Saturday my Mother and I went downtown to shop and have lunch in a tea room at one of the stores we loved.I have the best memories from those days...

I know we don't need another reason to be sad, but the closing doors of so many beloved department stores I grew up with makes me kinda of yearn for the good old days. How I loved walking into the front door of a department store and feeling anxious to discover some delightful new item I could not live without.
Fast forward to now when the shopping experience is just to fill a need or online to complete a transaction. There is not anything special about it. The clothes even seem to be mass produced to the lowest cost provider and quality is lacking. Maybe it's just me, but I really used to love shopping, now I rarely go at all. Sigh.

cwillie,
the cost of rolled oats amazes me . when i was a kid they were a bargain .

Apples stored just above freezing can stay crisp and delightful for months but leave them out for just 24 hours and they will begin to mellow, so why oh why do grocery stores pile their apples in big unrefrigerated bins? (And they aren't cheap anymore either)

Sorry to hear Becky and maybe others are still being attacked.

My Mind isn't on all the time - I was surprised at the old dates and wondered what had happened! Finally I realized that I had wanted to see an entire thread, and had switched to 'Oldest First' ! So glad it is just me, and not the Forum.

My MIL got moved to long term care - same facility as her husband and seems to be doing very well. I took her to church yesterday and out to lunch. She had a bridge game planned for late afternoon.

i am getting ready to make my move to the condo I bought last year after my husband died. My house is sold and closed. I have 45 more days to move. I’ve cleaned out, thrown away, donated and disposed of a pile of “stuff”. still a little to do.

But there are still times that grief takes ahold and just won’t go away. I don’t cope very well. I’ve gone to a grief support group. Best characterized as a cat fight by a bunch of women trying to latch onto the one or two widowers there. I’m going to a psychologist for counseling which helps a little. I’ve gone out on 4 or 5 dates which wasn’t all that special. Perfectly nice men, but not truly interested.

I wish I would get up one morning and this was all over with. I have no real problems. Just the never ending grief.

HOCA is private pay - no Medicaid

she had enough savings with her LTC to last 4 years which seemed like a reasonable time frame when I placed her there as she was 92 1/2 then

Madge, is mom in a place that will accept Medicaid when long term care is used up? Or is she able to private pay? It would be so hard on both of you to move her. Thinking of you.

MsMadge,
There will be an answer for you.

I received a letter from the interim director of hoca that they’re raising mom’s rate $500 a month

I’ve heard from other family members they’ve balked at the increase

mom’s meager LTC policy is up in 4 months

I've tried CBD oil. It just makes me feel sluggish but not sleepy. I was told you have to use it everyday for it to work. I probably don't have the patience for that.

I feel for you Captain. It must feel horrible to have this unresolved for so long.

i guess the cbd did calm my agitation a bit but had minimal effect on the burning in my ribs . its going to take some arrests and convictions to remedy that degree of stress .
im going to bed because i get up at 4 am just to have some peace and thought before heading to work at 6 ish .

i only take two medications . i take small doses of ambien to help me get to sleep and small bits of viagra to prevent me from rolling out of bed . that isnt what theyre prescribed for but its what im presently using them for . docs have stopped listening to their patients , we have to help ourselves .

Starting today, in California, it is mental health week.
Call a number to talk or be referred for help.

this is supposed to be high quality pure cbd from ' bluegrass hemp oil ' company KY .

i was gifted an 80 dollar bottle of hemp oil last christmas . it was recommended by my then employers MD son . i felt it had some antianxiety properties but the effect bordered on mild depression . ive had a burning sensation in my lower ribs ever since my sons death . i know its just from core tension . docs wont give me anything to help . VA got in a bind for overprescribing narcotics so theyve swung wildly the other way . im pretty stressy today so i just ingested a large dropper full under my tongue . if my rib pain eases up id be glad to report back . i havent used the stuff in months because i dont have a lot of confidence in it .