On My Mind

Smeshque, I think sometimes people get gifts based on what they like. I once served a relative a mixed drink in a Flintstones glass mug (from McD's) since it was close to the size of a rocks glass (about 8 oz.) We had young kids, so I didn't bother trying to have matching glassware (except for the set of 8 FIintstones mugs) since glasses broke routinely. So, for several Christmases, I received barware from this relative...decanters, daiquiri glasses, champagne flutes, wine glasses. What they didn't think about is I rarely drink and DH is fine with our everyday glasses for beer. :-)

Praying for Florida.

I wonder why someone would send someone they know, a gift that person would not use nor enjoy.
For example gardening gloves for someone who does not garden. Or jewelry to one who wears absolutely no jewelry.
So frustrating to me the thoughtlessness of my siblings.

Wishes for safety for Florida

Still feeling the earth move, under my head....

Thursday morning:
M 6.3 - 284km WNW of Bandon, Oregon

Thursday about 3 a.m. (I was up)
Two EQ within a minute in Mentone, CA
3.0 and 2.5 magnitude

Does anyone else want to scream when someone says "You're still young. Once this is over, you can have a life for yourself. You can do anything you want!" "This" would be the deaths of my mom & my husband, each suffering from a different type of dementia.

Thanks smeshque~

Not an antique Lu, unique, genuine, one of a kind

If the 1990's are considered vintage,then I must be an antique~

Why must the fallout from our Loved Ones deaths continue for so long after the fact? Four and a half years!

I woke up at 3:15 am. I go with DHs sister to the attorneys office this afternoon to go over gathered info to be used in DHs and his sister’s case against 2 other siblings, Co Independent Executors.

Why am I going? Because I am the calm, sensible one. The keeper of the records.

Calm? Sensible? Not this morning. I’m angry. I feel aggressive. I am mad as h3ll!

I literally need to punch an inanimate object...

On my mind....who the heck was my mother? The woman who use to bath me and put my sheet and blankets in the dryer to be nice and warm for me on those cold winter nights and made sure I made it through all those heart breaking moments that happens in life? Or was she the woman who secretly stealing my things and saying horrible things about me to my brother so he could grow up to hate me? All so that she would have someone on her side! I thought we were on the same side! How could a mother do such things to her kids and live with herself is something that I just can't wrap my mind around! And I never will!! On one hand she was a good mom; on the other hand, she was one of the worst mothers ever. She broke my heart until there was nothing left...nothing for her...I feel no love for her...God I am a horrible person! I am working on forgiving her...its hard! I know she is paying the price for what she has done, but so am I...well it ever be paid in full for me? Did I pay to high of a price to be her daughter? That is what is on my mind as I lay in my bed!!!

Bad storm just came through. Power went out😥
Using our oil lamps. The only thing I collect.
Got mom set up and lights throughout, hope they get it on soon, so she doesn't get too warm, have front door open for air since front porch is covered. DH and I use to live like this. Brings back some fond memories. Chose to modernize for parents.
Anyway, that's what is on my mind right now.
However, I like better what was on Send`s mind.

Caregivers are good people!

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’” — Matthew 25:35-36.

Shell, what is your brother pressing charges against your mother for?

How would pressing criminal charges result in your mother losing her house?

Fall is on its way and summer is moving out. The chill in the night air and a light frost is covering the grass! As much as I love fall. I am not ready to let go of summer. We had a very short summer this yr. Winter didn't want to let go so it held on for as long as it could just so we could have months of rain! I have much work left to do. No pushing it back for next yr because than I will just fall behind!(

Thank you Gershun. I have forgot about "Footprints in the Sand." How I needed those words. Bless your heart! You brought tears to my eyes reminding me that the Lord is with me and I must trust Him.

Shell you will never go down once and for all cause God is holding you up.

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."

On my mind...My brother wants to press crimmal charges on my mother. The sad part is he would probably has a case. This is to much for me to handle. All of this would mean that I did my mother's bankruptcy for nothing...just to end up homeless and lose my dad's house anyways...I really don't know how much more I can take...

Why do people make choices and never think how it will impact someone else? All they see is what they want or getting back at someone. Why should I have to pay for what someone else did? I know now how selfest my mother is and now my brother wants his pound of flesh no matter what it does or what happens to me. I don't deserve any of this! I pay my bills. I try to help others. I am a good and loving person and yet the nightmare never ends for me. How many times does it take to kick Shell down before she goes down for once and all?

Frazzled, I'm sorry, I should have need clear all that abuse was when I was a child and a young adult. Your right God does not want us to be doormats. I had to move in with my mother 3 yrs ago and I have set boundaries. I do not let her treat or talk to me any-o-way.

But I do wonder if I honor her only because her and I have went around-and-around, which I would of never did with my dad. But you answer me and thank you for that. I love me, so I don't put up with my mother's crap. I just walk out of the room now!

Shell, it sounds like you have honored your mom by loving her and being there for her despite the way that she has treated you. But you don't have to be her doormat. You can honor your mom by loving her as a person, as a human being, but sometimes it's necessary to do that from afar.

I don't believe God meant for us to take constant abuse. We're ALL valuable in His eyes, but sometimes it's hard to see that about ourselves when we've been emotionally or otherwise abused.

This sounds like the time to quit the role that your mother has given you to play and set some boundaries, even go no contact if necessary. You deserve so much better than the way she is treating you. Yes, she's ill, but if she's always been like this, she might have a personality disorder, which is very, very difficult to deal with. You can still love and pray for her without having to deal with the constant drama. It's still honoring her, and it's loving yourself too.

On my mind...God says to honor thy mother and father. I believe that I did honor my father, but my mother is a whole nother story. We have never had the best relationship. As I grew into a woman she grew in hating me...I guess! She never did a lot in front of people and she never came off so mean until my father died. She did the whole lying about me behind my back, stoled from me and blamed it on my brother. She would tell me that I could do whatever I wanted in this life; that I could achieve anything, but when I did she would tell me how proud she was then do something to hurt me. I learned at a young age that my job was to protect her, clean up her messes and never say a word and I was faithful!

She played my brother and I against eachother and my father never knew it. He tried so hard to get his two kids to love one another, but mother would slip in with a lie or two and the fighting would begin again. Dad didn't have a fighting chance!

I have ran out of tears for this woman who is called mother. We did nothing but fight scene I came back except for the past six months-maybe, but only because once again she needed me to clean her one last mess. I was born with a job! My job was to be my mother's mother! I did it and I paid the price. I did it because I didn't know any thing different. I did it because that was what I was taught. I did it because I loved her.

Did I honor my mother? Probably not! Will I honor her after she is gone? I don't know! I feel no love for her. I don't even feel hate or anything! I am tried of her lies and games that she plays. These are not of things of the disease because they have always been there.

How do I honor a mother who has always hurt me...

This is what is on my mind tonight!

Send,

I got the shredding loaded and delivered. Yes, what a relief.

I did find that I have quite a bit of shredding belonging to me and DH. I ordered a shredder from Amazon to try to stay ahead of that situation.

Still awake😵

Pamzimmrrt Daddy's assistant is daddy's money manager and he does get paid although I am not sure how much. No one will tell me. Daddy will not see a doctor he just says he has spells. Yes I have poas and I will take over daddy's businesses with the.help of daddy's assistant. They have been friends for yrs.

Daddy said he did not throw his clothes in the pool but who did? No one was in my house except his assistant was in and out up until 10pm then it was just my daddy, my husband and myself. Daddy is a little crazy at times. I just do not know what to do. No one does. Daddy does what he wants when he wants only mama could control him and she is gone.

Mikkimball LOL I guess it is funny now. If daddy goes to Spain I might go some where but not sure where. Of course my husband has to work and will probably tell me no:(

Mikkimball daddy's assistant always goes where daddy goes. He keeps daddy on schedule and haves daddy sign papers or whatever. Daddy is all there most times but he does have days where he just doesn't seem like himself.

Thank you Mikkimball for asking.

Bellator, I sure hope you have a POA or something, cause daddy sounds off the rails! Does he have a diagnosis? Is his "assistant" full time or paid, or just "helping out" as a friend? Can he get dad to help you get these things under control? Because to me playing golf in the house and tossing dirty clothes in the pool is either a sign of a real problem, or a man who is trying to make some kind of point to you.. neither is good.

That's okay Mikk. I would laugh to if it was not in my living room.

Came home last night and daddy threw his dirty clothes in the pool. Good grief. Now he wants to take a trip to Spain. I am not sure how or if I can stop him. Oh well.

Glad you got a chuckle.

Time evaporates at rapid speed....😟

It has been along few days. On my mind...how does a parent play their kids against one another? I have talk to my brother for the last two days and we are comparing notes and it isn't looking good. Come to find out my mother was telling him bs about me and telling me bs about him. She, I believe was telling him so much negative lies about me sense he was a kid that it program him to hate me! And to come find out she lied to him on why he could not have his own truck in his name to him and me. Lies lies and more lies that is all she did. My brother and I will never have that sibling relationship because I just can't, but I have forgiven him for all he has done to me and he has forgiven me. Maybe I am a fool, but I am going to help him get his truck back! I just feel in my spirit that would be the right thing to do. No good deed goes unpunished! Right! But I want and need to do the right thing. Him and I will never will have the relationship that we sould of, but maybe now we can heal from this. And that is what I want. I will never trust him because I can't, but I can learn from this and do better. He is heartbroken and how can he not be. My mother is the one who took out a loan on his truck and blamed my dad. My mother stoled so much from us! I have no words for what she has done. She was telling him that I hated him and I did for a long time, but I didn't when I was 7, 8, or even 12 yrs of age but because he is slow he believed her and why wouldn't he she was his mom? Just as I believe her. She told me lies about him. My dad has always wanted us to come together, but my mother did what she does best--destroy everything in her path! May God have mercy on her soul.

I do refuse to let her take away the rest of my life. Whether it would be because of her disease or because of her hateful negative spirit. I will have peace, joy, love, and success. I break the chains that bind me in the name of Jesus. Who tells us who He sets free is free indeed. Amen Glory to the Lord.