On My Mind

Thank you Polarbear that was beautiful!

Thank you Gershun and it does make sense to feel lonely when your with people.

Shell, I feel alone a lot especially when I'm with people if that makes any sense.

I'm sorry you are feeling lonely but God is just a whisper away.

Take care!

Loneliness is the sadness feeling there is. Shell, I am sorry you're feeling lonely. Many people experience loneliness as we age. I am reminded of the song "Learn to Be Lonely" from the Phantom of the Opera.

Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness

Who will be there for you?
Comfort and care for you?
Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion

Never dreamed out in the world
There are arms to hold you
You've always known
Your heart was on its own

So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone

Learn to be lonely
Life can be lived, life can be loved alone

This song always brings tears to my eyes.
CM, sorry my post is too long.

Today was a bad day:( I feel so alone these days, but yet, I can't have time to myself, time to breath, to think, to pray!

Thank God He got me through today.

I know He is trying to teach or tell me something...I'm just not getting it!

Okay, On my mind. I'm waiting to pick up my daughter from work then going home. Home to my husband I take care of. Not the life I want but I know if I was the one who needed care, he would be there for me.

I am reminded of the request to keep it short and to what is
ON. MY. MIND.
Countrymouse was kind enough to start this for us, with very few "rules".
So I will focus what is ON MY MIND, not on everybody else's.

Still laughing, "As AC Turns", or "All my caregivers". That is a unique concept, somebody could start a new thread......

Ali, I missed the edit. But don't feel bad at all, whatever you said.
Pammzi, no one would have ever suspected you were "investigating".
Good on you!
Gershun, Always, looking at the best in other people!

That comment would have never have fit in the old On My Mind. lol (gallows humor)

I rather like this Edit feature. Enough AC for tonight. I don't feel very pleased with myself when I turn this site into an episode of "As AC Turns" or "All My Caregivers"... lol
...I hope his son's murder can be solved. Every family deserves some measure of justice and closure.

Thanks Pamzimmrrt

He always reminded me of our neighbors in WV.. LOL

Thx for the info Pam. There is definitely a big heart under that somwhat crusty exterior with the captain.

About Captain.. I look about sometimes because I actually really liked him, he was authentic if somewhat abrasive.. LOL. Nope they have not solved the murder, but his ex wife has an active FB page about him. (the son) Its so sad. Yes I am a pretty good "stalker"

I often wonder about the captain. I hope they solved his son's murder.

Hi, Mayday. Captain hasn't posted in a few years now, I believe since around the time of Brexit and the U.S. presidential elections, so that would have been 2016. Also, one of his children was tragically murdered around that time, too. Captain hasn't been on AC -- that I've seen -- since around that time.

HI countrymouse. Do you ever hear from or see comments from Captain? I used to see his comments a year or so ago... I stopped but am back, somewhat. How r u?

: )

I cry and no one hears.
My childhood nightmares have become my reality.
I smile hiding the pain behind my blue eyes.
Saying its just another day.

This hurt will be the end of me.
Should I lay in the pines in the silent night?

I cry and no one hears me.
The child in me has died.
I scearm and no one looks.

I will just lay in the pines.
In the silent of the night and let the cool breeze cover me.
Maybe than I will find my peace.

Just venting!!
--Shell

Unitetogether, I oversee two two elderly ladies; mom and client/friend. 25 years with mom, 3 with client. 5 miles out of town of 3500, long ways from any larger town/city. Can be boring at times, especially in winter when there's ice and snow; so it sure feels like the "middle of nowhere".

DeeAnna, so glad you didn't get flooded; seems as if everyone else around did, doesn't it? A friend was at work in Nebraska today and said many roads around the area were closed, may not be able to get back here soon.

Music and what a great escape it can be. Took a few moments to listen to Wichita Lineman by Glen Campbell and think the strings are sweeping and beautiful. He looks a lot like my dad. Bittersweet. Don't make music like that today.

Nebraska is the #1 state in the US for state percentage of Agricultural land (91% of NE land is farm/ranch). Nebraska is the #2 state for beef production (just behind Texas) and ethanol. It’s #3 in corn, and 50% of our wheat crops are exported. And it’s #4 in the US for contributed Ag exports to the world market. 
It will take 1-2 months before many farmers can plant any crops because of the mud and huge blocks of ice lying in their fields from the ice jams.  We were lucky because our fields are on high ground and did not get flooded, but many of the roads to our fields did.

Mally1, hi. Yes I feel bad for them. Your in the middle of nowhere and taking care of a Loved one? Is that extra lonely or is that a silly question.

Wow! Looking at and reading about the flooding in Nebraska and Iowa; Lord have mercy..... In a lot of places it happened so fast the people couldn't rescue their horses (now I'm in tears), cows, or other livestock. Such devastation! Red River next is what they think in Fargo - think I'll sit here and be satisfied to be in a hilly place with no rivers, tornadoes, hurricanes, etc, even if it is in the middle of nowhere.

Our local newspaper had a cartoon of a person with binoculars telling a Sandhill Crane, "You're late."  The crane replied, "You try flying with snow on your wings."

[FYI: Thousands of Sandhill Cranes and Canadian geese and other birds stop overnight on the Platte River every February and/or early March on their way back to Canada.]

I know what you mean Shell38314. A Real Spring. Like it just passed us last year. Wish I could be more excited about nice weather coming however. Caregivers can't or it's hard for long to get out in the sun shine. Don't mean to be a downer, caregiving just sucks.

In the lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing.

All I think about the last few days is spring. I have lots of projects to do...mostly replant my many Japanese trees...oh goodness, I hope we have a real sping and not go from cold weather to really hot weather like it has been the last 2 yrs. If I don't get to fixes my Jap garden this year I might lose my mind...LOL! Just can't wait for the warm sunny days:)

Yeah but, has anyone seen a daffodil, dancing with a fairy on a windy hill?

3 small sprigs of romaine at 5 in the morning.
Have not yet a clue about what to eat on my new program.
This should be a fun challenge!

Today I saw 2 small flocks of tundra swans, one robin and I'm sure I heard a killdeer - dare I hope?