As I always say, once you are a caregiver that is what you are. You are no longer really a son or a sister or a wife or hubby. You are first and foremost a caregiver. Now for me, that didn't apply simply because I was retired. I had to time do the things that HAD to be done, like taxes. But I am certain for many, still trying to maintain a work schedule and do caregiving, it is almost impossible.
Reduce some of the pressure by filing an extension.
Everyone is different, but when I feel overwhelmed I try to get 1 check-list item done from every bucket (our business, personal, MIL, my Mom, my Aunt). This is just me: being "productive" (no matter how small the check-list item is) since it helps me to feel like I'm still "moving forward". I have to make and keep lists in order to be organized, which helps me clarify and make decisions, and then take actions. This way I never feel like I'm overwhelmingly behind in any one bucket.
Our business CPA used to tell us that no matter how bad our cash-flow was, we pay ourselves first. If we went bust, then several other people would also lose their jobs. The solution was to have back-up: a line of credit. We don't like "debt" but it was the least bad option.
Caregivers must force themselves to do self-care first, even if it doesn't feel right or comfortable. Put on your own oxygen mask first, then you are more able to help your LOs.
Also, expectations. I have given up expecting problems and challenges to be solved in a single action or phone call. If they are, great! But I go into tackling an issue with no expectation, no timeline.
I promise myself to take care of me first, and for the most part I do. Then things go heywire, I find myself being more and more depressed and I realize it's because once again life is all about mom and I'm not taking care of me again. I kick myself, start putting me first again. Seems like a cycle. Kinda like going off the codependent wagon.
Behind on tax returns, personal health management that's currently declining, school work, job hours, sleep, getting something off my credit report. Been between nurses, scheduling teams, home health supplies, insurance, and pharmacy calls will take up your day with the phyiscal labor in caregiving. Then someone has the nerve to ask you to do something for them it'll feel like.......
My parents had me doing my own taxes when I started working at 15. I would go to H & R Block and have them do the return. When I was 21 I realized i could do what they did for free and filed my taxes myself. They didn't have turbo tax then. I know now that H & R Block sucks - after I went back to them a few years later to do my business taxes. I now have a real life grown up accountant.
My DH did our taxes and my two adult children’s taxes . He’s having an accountant do my FIL’ s taxes again. Like last year the accountant is filing an extension while DH collects everything . In the meantime DH is also dealing with probate since FIL died this past January . He’s says he can not wait to be done with all his father’s paperwork .
I'm trying to figure out my dad's then will take it to his tax preparer along with my POA forms etc as proof As a college student working a couple jobs, my son has his first tax return to do so I'm helping him with that.
Mine and my wife's is the most complex , and I havent even started getting paperwork together for that yet!
You are no longer really a son or a sister or a wife or hubby. You are first and foremost a caregiver. Now for me, that didn't apply simply because I was retired. I had to time do the things that HAD to be done, like taxes. But I am certain for many, still trying to maintain a work schedule and do caregiving, it is almost impossible.
Everyone is different, but when I feel overwhelmed I try to get 1 check-list item done from every bucket (our business, personal, MIL, my Mom, my Aunt). This is just me: being "productive" (no matter how small the check-list item is) since it helps me to feel like I'm still "moving forward". I have to make and keep lists in order to be organized, which helps me clarify and make decisions, and then take actions. This way I never feel like I'm overwhelmingly behind in any one bucket.
Our business CPA used to tell us that no matter how bad our cash-flow was, we pay ourselves first. If we went bust, then several other people would also lose their jobs. The solution was to have back-up: a line of credit. We don't like "debt" but it was the least bad option.
Caregivers must force themselves to do self-care first, even if it doesn't feel right or comfortable. Put on your own oxygen mask first, then you are more able to help your LOs.
Also, expectations. I have given up expecting problems and challenges to be solved in a single action or phone call. If they are, great! But I go into tackling an issue with no expectation, no timeline.
Hoping that things will settle down soon for you, so that you can take care of the necessities in your life.
The fun never stops.
My DH did our taxes and my two adult children’s taxes . He’s having an accountant do my FIL’ s taxes again. Like last year the accountant is filing an extension while DH collects everything . In the meantime DH is also dealing with probate since FIL died this past January .
He’s says he can not wait to be done with all his father’s paperwork .
As a college student working a couple jobs, my son has his first tax return to do so I'm helping him with that.
Mine and my wife's is the most complex , and I havent even started getting paperwork together for that yet!