We caregivers are counseled to put ourselves into the minds of our loved ones. It is so hard, but I have been trying to do this, because if I don't, I find myself being constantly irritated and my tone of voice is angry. I was told to respond to the constant repetition of questions throughout the day with an attitude of "please pass the salt." That has worked for me until recently, but I can feel that my "tone" has become increasingly frustrated and even angry. I can still remember when my husband was a bright, funny, capable man who I could always rely on and talk to about anything; who, although it did not come easily, could apologize when he was wrong, and whose affection always brightened my day. All of that no longer exists. But I know that his soul is still there and because of that I must keep telling myself how it must be crying out to be heard and I cry with him and for him. Yesterday I could tell he was more tired than usual and cranky too -we'd had a big day the day before as we celebrated out of town with family a birthday. He had not been around that many people in a long time and though he did well while we were there, I think it was exhausting both mentally and physically. And so I promise here that I will keep trying to be a better caregiver and to somehow help this man feel loved.
Listening, reading. Today I visited you here, just wanted you to know.
Support and love to you in your struggle.
"But those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31
That is the most insightful, poignant thing I have ever read on any of these pages. Yes, I believe that the real husband you know and love is aware and suffering along with you on how things have come to be. My hope (and belief) is that souls can see levels above us concerning what life is really all about, and the depth and understanding of your love.
I WISH THAT ALL THOSE CARING FOR THEIR LOVED ONES HAD YOUR UNDERSTANDING AND LOVE.