When I told my MIL I had cancer, she said "Oh, so how much longer are they saying you're going to live?"
Ouch.
She never believed me, nor my DH. Her attitude and meanness was what completely destroyed my tenuous relationship with her. After I got through TX and my hair was growing back I went to see her (got dragged in by my DH!) and she looked at me and said "Why didn't you just DIE?"
I had an Aunt like that. Her sister was in AL with ALZ. She accused my cousins of spending her sister's money. My one cousin is a CPA. Of course she was wrong or her sister would never have been able to get Medicaid. Ignore the person.
I think it like cheating, the cheater accuses the partner of cheating over and over, because they know what they are doing, so they suspect the other of the same.
To most people this seems so insane, no one would do such a thing.
So I suspect the accuser would do that, or has.
I have had 2 people tell me they had cancer , one was a girl I worked with. The other was my husband's sister in law. Sister in law was definitely an alcoholic. The girl I worked with, was working on becoming one for sure. Neither one had cancer
And my sister actually said she had cancer , after a negative colagard test, she didn't have cancer. Everything was fine after her colonoscopy. But she should of explained it . I get a text that said I have cancer, and wanted me to tell mom.
Wow!!! Just wow! That's beyond even thinkable to most people. It must be a trip living inside her head! And even if she thought it, why would she verbalize it! That's just beyond the pale!
I am sorry to hear you are dealing with a toxic family member. They seem to be somewhere in the family. It could be projected guilt and they are making you a target. Maybe they feel guilty that they should be doing caregiving but for whatever reason cannot. Cancer is so horrible, and I am so sorry you are going through it. If you are going to go through chemo, radiation, immunotherapy or all I know you will be physically and mentally exhausted. You do need to take care of yourself and there is no way you could be a caregiver on top of that!
It gets better. The will is also being rewritten. My father recently had a cardiac event, brain damage, can't remember anything. I've tried to explain the following to him,
IF YOU DIE FIRST, IT GOES TO ME IF I DIE FIRST, IT GOES WHEREVER
He can't retain that.
I understand rewriting the will, so the estate doesn't go to Gavin Newsom, but holy hell.
My cousin took over caregiving duties, dutifully doesn't speak to him about the estate, but my aunt does it all the time. However, he's very scared of my cousin because he's blind, basically helpless, and she gets mad when my name is mentioned. I should add that the cousin won't talk to me at all.
Nobody in their right mind would even consider faking stage 4 cancer to get out of a caregiving duty, my God. Obviously your relative has led a charmed, disease free life to have even thought such a thing! Stage 4 cancer is the ugliest 3 word sentence I've ever heard in my life, bar none. Bless you, my friend, and give you the patience to ignore such obtuse people in your life.
When I told my MIL I had cancer, she said "Oh, so how much longer are they saying you're going to live?"
Ouch.
She never believed me, nor my DH. Her attitude and meanness was what completely destroyed my tenuous relationship with her. After I got through TX and my hair was growing back I went to see her (got dragged in by my DH!) and she looked at me and said "Why didn't you just DIE?"
Seriously, you cannot make up this kind of stuff.
To most people this seems so insane, no one would do such a thing.
So I suspect the accuser would do that, or has.
I have had 2 people tell me they had cancer , one was a girl I worked with. The other was my husband's sister in law. Sister in law was definitely an alcoholic. The girl I worked with, was working on becoming one for sure. Neither one had cancer
And my sister actually said she had cancer , after a negative colagard test, she didn't have cancer. Everything was fine after her colonoscopy. But she should of explained it . I get a text that said I have cancer, and wanted me to tell mom.
I'm so sorry, that is just disgusting!
This idiocy renders me speechless .
Hoping you are making progress in your own treatment.
IF YOU DIE FIRST, IT GOES TO ME
IF I DIE FIRST, IT GOES WHEREVER
He can't retain that.
I understand rewriting the will, so the estate doesn't go to Gavin Newsom, but holy hell.
My cousin took over caregiving duties, dutifully doesn't speak to him about the estate, but my aunt does it all the time. However, he's very scared of my cousin because he's blind, basically helpless, and she gets mad when my name is mentioned. I should add that the cousin won't talk to me at all.
If you ever have to converse again, maybe a ‘ I have stage four cancer, but what’s YOUR excuse…?’ Will shut them up.
Wishing you better and more peaceful times, you’ve more than earned it
Can you block that person on your cellphone?
Tare care of yourself as best you can. 🤍
I hope you're on the road to recovery and doing okay.
Good to see you posting. How are you doing? Besides dealing with dingdong relations.
I pray your dad is still being mindful of you and that you are healing.
How is your treatment going?