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cwillie, what a good thread and I’m glad you got to the point you have, bless you. He deserved that. I join with you and others here, we speak up for those around us! Maybe, maybe, you will have a chance to put a gentle word.. maybe by way of query.. in the ear of one of the family members at a particular moment. So many of us get held back by perceptions of authority, and they may not see options *they* have to speak up, and may be much less educated about the system than you. Good luck, thank you for caring.
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Remember, see something wrong, say something.
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cwillie, so glad you found out more!
That was a good thing, imo.
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Send, I am satisfied that this man has an advocate, I had feared he had no one or that his family hadn't seen him recently. My understanding is that he is waiting to see a specialist, I personally would not be so accepting of the wait but it isn't my decision.
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CWillie,

You obviously care, and everyone that knows you realizes your concerns are valid.

So, for you, I would recommend the report to the NH Ombudsman.


If it were me, I would speak direct to the patient, find out more.....even if the staff told me not to.


When visiting a rehab, a patient was calling out, distressed, "I'm hungry". I looked over (3 beds in this room, separated by a curtain), as the patient I was visiting shook her head "No" at me.

I told the lady that someone would be coming shortly, and that I would tell the staff. The patient crying out stopped, and rested. And as I left, I did tell a staff member.


What, as compassionate humans, we should no longer speak to others?

f r e e. s p e e c h i n. A m e r i c a ..


I know you will be doing the right thing.
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So...
I spoke with a friend who works there, she feels the same way as I do. BUT his family is aware therefore it is up to them - so there is nothing more that can be done. (I wish I could get the family and doc together and bang some heads)
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CW,
There was an LVN that was working to get her RN at Mom’s NH. When Mom went into NH We hit it off. She really did love my Mom.

She was moved to another wing to care for more medically compromised patients. But everyday she worked she checked on my Mom even though she no longer worked on Mom’s wing. She let me know if there was ever any concerns that weren’t being addressed with Mom.

I did track her down a couple of times and fill her in on a couple of situations on my Moms wing that didn’t concern my Mom but other residents welfare I guess you could say.

The Director of Nursing was unapproachable and just nasty if you could ever find or reach her. She disappeared and a new awesome DON came on board Moms last 6 months alive. I would not have hesitated to talk to her about anything I saw.

You just can’t “unsee” some things you witness in NHs. Especially if the patients don’t have regular visitors. I’m sure you are there often enough to know which patients around your Mom have no Advocates.

Not that it’s you job to become their Advocate but if you see something unsettling you should be able to mention it to a staff member you feel close to or an ombudsman.

You have a big heart!
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I suppose that I have a different take on it. If the person that I am concerned about is my family member, then, I'd address the director of the facility with a very serious immediate meeting. However, if I have no connection to this person and have just observed them......I'd probably be worried about repercussions. So, worst case scenario, you discuss it with the social worker or director and then nothing happens. So, now, you have to go over their head and when it gets reported, they know it was you. It might cause me to report it anonymously to adult protective services and the state agency that regulates the facility. I think you can do both without revealing your identity. IMO, ensuring that seniors, children and disabled are properly cared for is everyone's business.
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Ultimately we all have to live with ourselves and it sounds like you’re going to have a hard time with this if you don’t speak up. Talk to people you trust at the facility, hopefully you’ll see a change, and at the least you’ll be able to know you tried your best
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Cwillie,
I'd definitely let someone know - maybe not DON but whichever nurse you've built a relationship with or if not then the social worker 

Sadly, I've seen situations go way beyond any reasonable sense and I know others who visit daily have spoken up too 

Caregivers aren't always knowledge and will get folks up after a fall even if there's a broken bone involved 

If there's no response or the situation deteriorates then an anonymous call to the ombudsman ?
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I would address my concern to the social worker at the facility, telling her/him that you know they can't give you any information, that you want to make sure that someone has looked into his Health issues.
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