My wife has been in a nursing home for several weeks. She has lost her rational mind and we don't know the cause. When she went in she had her cell phone. Well, she has used that phone to call and text many people about fantasized abuses. One night she called 911 repeatedly and had the police, fire department and ambulance services rush to the facility. Plus she even called a State Supreme Court Justice for help, myself, friends and relatives. The situation became so untenable the nursing home came close to discharging her because they were having to spend almost 100% of their time on her and could not attend to other patients. So, I had her phone taken away and I made the decision to not visit her for several days hoping she would become more acclimated to her situation. My son disagrees with the decision, but I had no choice. I'll go tomorrow and find out how she is doing.
Has the onset of this confusion been sudden? Is this what landed her in a nursing home? Was there a hospital admission with tests etc first?
I hope a reason can be found soon & suitable treatment helps.
You're handling the situation perfectly as far as I can tell.
Yes, you will be making some tough decisions. Your son's concerns might be helpful to you if you and he can become more familiar with your options.
Of course you were right to take the cell phone away (if only temporarily).
Can you work together on this?
Your wife's illness may be Delirium.
Medically check for a UTI.
Ask a doctor to see her and assess for delirium.
"Delirium is a common and very important problem for all older adults in the hospital. It doesn’t just happen to people with Alzheimer’s or a dementia diagnosis. (And, it’s not the same thing.)" says Dr. Leslie Kernisan M.D., MPH,
a geriatric specialist.
Have staff or yourself, son, assist her with eating and drinking so she won't become dehydrated and lose more weight. So you might want to visit or ask your son to visit.
Bring photos from home to help her acclimate to reality. Person-who she is, who others are. Place-where she is now, what home looks like. Time-what day it is, what season of winter/Christmas it is. Keeping it all simple, and calm.
Maybe read to her.
"If you are of the really vigilant and proactive type, you may want to double-check that your loved one isn’t getting any sedatives or anticholinergic medications that make confusion worse. Even though these medications are risky for hospitalized older adults, it’s not uncommon for them to be prescribed." (Dr. Kernisan). For example: Benzodiazepines such as Klonopin or Benadryl.
If she was this way prior to entering the nursing home (you said lost her rational mind), double check that UTI - a possible urinary tract infection.
It could be UTI, Delirium, and current medications.
Your profile shows other changes in her behaviour too - loss of weight, not eating. It sounds like her Alz is progressing. I am so sorry you and your family have to deal with this. Perhaps your son doesn't have a good understanding of the disease his mother has. Has he done anything to inform himself? There is lots of literature around about Alz and families really need look at it to have a good idea of what to expect.
Let us know how your visit goes.
Curious how your wife found the telephone number for the State Supreme Court, so it sounds like she knows how to "search" but not understand the reasoning behind doing such calls.
Sorry, your son doesn't agree, but he is of the age where one cannot live without their cellphone. The whole world stops for them if the Internet goes down. I grew up when there were only landlines and no voice recorders, thus we could go days without speaking to someone or knowing they called, and the world didn't implode.
Do have her seen by a geriatric psychiatrist, though, and checked for a urinary tract infection.
Has your wife been tested for a Urinary Tract Infection? Those sometimes cause strange psychiatric symptoms.
Is she being followed by a geriatric psychiatrist? Have any antopsychotic meds been tried?