First off, I'm fortunate and I know that. My mom is 97 YO lives alone and she handles all her own ADL; but has caregiver help 3hr a day/5 days a week for Dr. appt transport, grocery shopping, grabbing some lunch, and companionship. If I go away then extra supervision is arranged, usually an afternoon shift. I have other siblings (all out of state), so coordinating their support can be done; but requires lots of advance planning. It is a coordination for my husband and I (both recently retired) to go away for a couple days. Since she is alert and takes her safety seriously I'm reluctant to force her into AL. I live about 2 miles from her so if there is an issue I can get there real quickly. My biggest concern is when I'm away and she's home alone at night. She sees no reason to pay a caregiver to "watch" her sleep - I get it. She has a "life alert" type device and we've added inside cameras to her living room and her bedroom for added visibility and the cameras are shared with my backup sibling.
I'm challenged with how to handle spur of the moment trips my husband wants to do - that require mental hoops and coordination for me to make sure mom is safe so I don't worry as much when we're away.
I'm really looking for suggestions on how to handle that night-time supervision that would give me a sense of comfort so I don't worry as much while I'm away. Have I done enough? Is there a way someone could sleep over, but be available should she need nighttime help. She doesn't want someone living with her, she likes the quiet of "her space." What are my options?
You've already placed cameras in her home, that you can access from anywhere in the world and she has a life alert type device in case she falls, so what more do you want?
I literally can feel your stress just from reading your post. Take some deep breaths and calm down.
Unless you wrap your 97 year old mom up in some bubble wrap, and put her up somewhere where she can't get hurt, I don't know what else you can do other than hire 24/7 care for her on her dime.
Let your mom live her life as she sees fit and quit being so over protective and stressed out over something you have little control over.
Another option of course is moving her into a nice assisted living facility where she will be around other folks her own age and where she will have folks checking on her throughout the day, and be able to do lots of fun activities if and when she wants to, and most importantly you can get back to just being her loving daughter and advocate and not her stressed out caregiver. Plus your husband and you will be able to come and go as you please and enjoy your retirement years without the added stress of making sure your 97 year old mom has all the care she requires.
Your mom has had her life, so it's time for you and hubby to now live and enjoy yours.
I hate when my husband goes on ladders when I'm not home, and sometimes I have to go to moms. So I will check are ring to see he has been going in and out of the house and such. And I can even talk to him if I feel like I need to when he sets it off.
But to be honest, I want you not to , because I think you need to enjoy yourself. Put home out of your head . We have to do that for are mental well being.
Oh I'm sorry just editing I didn't realize you already have cameras. Seriously that's plenty.