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For today CUT OPEN the important boxes and LEAVE . Hopefully she has them labeled , so you know which boxes she needs some things out of right away , like kitchen items . MiL still has one arm to pick out what she needs and put it away in the cupboard . ( I have no tolerance for drunks btw) .

The other boxes can wait .

I also like the idea of her hiring an organizer . Let her literally pay for getting drunk . She has to deal with the consequences of her actions , not you .

You have to show her that you are not her servant . Even if she wasn’t a drunk, it’s not your job to clean out her junk . Tell her you don’t have time and she can hire an organizer.
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Beatty Jun 14, 2024
Spot on!
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Call Task Rabbit and find an organizer to sort her belongings Out . You will have to learn to tune her out and create boundaries .
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AlvaDeer Jun 14, 2024
Let HER call Task Rabbit. She's still got one arm left for now.
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Too bad you didn’t tell your husband that you can’t go over either because you have also made other plans . Next time .

The nerve of him going golfing and expecting you to go over and do the unpacking . Tell him to cancel . That you aren’t going over alone to bail out this drunk , and listen to her complain.

Do not prop up this woman . Let her fall down in more ways than one .

You and your husband should go to Al-Anon meetings and a marriage counselor . Your lives should not be upended by her alcoholism .
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Its not your job to help his mother unpack her junk. Tell DH to cancel his tee time and go over his mother's house to help her unpack. Set your boundaries now and stick to them.
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Welcome. This upside downness can be righted, I am sure.

Writing it down helps many people.
When we re-read what we wrote it can start a process of looking with fresh eyes. Does anything leap out already?
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Anxietynacy Jun 14, 2024
Beatty, that is so true!
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“I will have to spend every little free moment unpacking a ton of junk since she got drunk and fell down.”

Says who? No, you don’t.

Your husband can. You will not, cannot! You need to draw the line in the sand NOW. Before long she could pull the “It’s better if I live with you” and your husband moves her in!

She could live another 20, 30 years. You have got to stand up NOW.

You have your own life. She is not your mother and not your problem. She will keep having accidents like this since she is a drunk and has no intentions of stopping. Tell her and husband that you will help when she completes a full in-facility rehab. She won’t of course, so you are going to focus on your home, your job, and your kids. As you ought. Let husband handle her. He keeps his head in the sand because he expects you to deal with her. And you are flat out not able to do it. If you start doing for her now, she (and husband) will expect you to rush to her aid any time she acts a fool.

Husband better cancel that tee time. Even if he doesn’t, you are not going to her house tomorrow. Or ever. They’ll complain and try to guilt you… do not bend!
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anonymous1768885 Jun 14, 2024
This 1000 times over.
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