My father has given up and just wants to die, he won't bathe, hardly eats and has lost about 70lbs or more. It seems that he is depressed and doesn't care. He has recently stopped taking my calls. My stepmother says he seems confused at times and he sleeps alot, I don't know what to do for him, he has no family doctor and refuses any help.
I'm very sorry to hear about your dad. I know its hard. My dad was very stubborn and no one could tell him anything. But in this case, I would try to override him and take charge.
Something is not right. When my dad wanted to stop bathing and eating, he had heart failure. He also had diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol issues. Another consideration would be possibly cancer. I'm sure your stepmother is trying to appease him and letting him be, but in this case, I would say don't give up on him and get him to a doctor against his will if necessary.
1. If you can get him into a car, you and your stepmother head to an urgent care or local clinic. Say it’s your stepmother who needs help so that you can get him inside and seated. Then explain at the registration window that it’s really him that needs help.
2. Find a company with visiting nurses. A nurse can come to his home and assess what may be wrong. Depression is an obvious answer, but that may not be the problem. It could be a UTI, brain tumor, or any number of other issues. His seeing a nurse could alter his perspective.
3. Does he have grandchildren? Is there a special event coming up? Is there anything you can use to get his attention so that he has something to look forward to. Use it to get him motivated. Example: a niece is getting married and they want him to participate in some special way. He needs to get himself ready.
4. Get him moving, even if it’s just walking. Use his body against him. Get his endorphins working. Endorphins make you happy.
If it were my father, I would tell him that he can either go to the doctor or go to the ER.
75 really is too young to be giving up - there has to be a reason.
For a man, 75 would also bring a lowered sex drive. The desire might still be there but the ability is not - this will turn many a man into wanting to give up. Some men feel "almost dead" if they can no longer perform. I don't know why, but he can be turned around if you get him the proper care.
I am not finding fault with your Stepmother - she might be doing all she knows how to do - and she can also be part of the problem. Unless you live with them, you cannot know for sure either way.