Does caregiver need to respect her wishes?
My LPN sister is my mother's health adviser. I'm the oldest daughter and live out of state. I was visiting my mother when she fell the first time,which was four years ago .When I first walked in and saw my mom, she didn't even know where she fell, or what happened. She refused ER, but I loaded her up anyway. She needed over 50 stitches in her head and they kept her for observation overnight. The MRI showed she had been having mini strokes. My mother has fallen several times since then.The last one was about two weeks ago. bout a week later My sister sent me an e-mail about the fall. She kept my mother at home giving her pain pills (from where) and oxygen for a week before taking her to the doctor . But she said they had good news.......the x-rays showed no broken bones. I sent her an e-mail asking why she waited a week before taking her any where (very upset I would question someone so qualified) She said mom didn't want to go to ER and she needs to respect that. I asked about an MRI? "no MRI ordered just PT".They live in a very small rural town and my sister had worked for my mothers docror. My father died five years ago and about a year after my sister moved in with my mom, (because her boyfriend kicked her out.........only after my mother paid off his mortgage when it went into foreclosure, with no paperwork) Since then the will keeps being rewritten. Original will everything was to be divided equally between 4 children. Quess what,new will the sister gets everything. My sister has allready accumulated over 100,000 worth of debt to my mom. The other night when I called my mom about her fall, she was only all cosumed with the over 100,000.dollarsworth of debt of the oldest brother She forgot any of my sister's debt,plus gave her everything.("no,no you have misinformation. Where are you getting your info? " "from you mom!" I would think if you were the sole heir, you would not be playing Doctor at home and take her to the ER. Do, I call doctor and ask for an MRI? My mother wants to stay in her home, so I can't do alot where my sister would get replaced etc... Do I just sit and let whatever happen or, talk with the doctor. I'm pretty sure I know why she is not pushing for a new MRI. My mother would not want to live after having a severe stroke. ( Probably what is next) Am I right? I need some advice . Obviously,I don't have as much trust in my sisters capability as much as she does! or my mother!?
As far as the other matters are concerned, I strongly advice you to take an independant person who is familiar with those kind of things. May be a social assistant can help you already. A lawyer of cause may know better, but it is a costly matter. First try to find someone else and let him/her find out what is happening with the financial issues. Hope you can come to good terms again with your sister and wish you all the best.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/mother-fell-becoming-a-frequent-occurrence-187514.htm?cpage=1
I do think sister is being rather lax with her treatment, but since she's with mom all the time, she may have a better idea of her condition. I don't get why you leave a senior who just fell alone or give them pain pills. That's really odd.
Is sister the Durable Power of Attorney? Is mom still competent? Who made the arrangements for a new will? Can you prove it was done under coercion or trick by sister? You may need an attorney to get on board with that.
The doctor will need to state a reason for the MRI for insurance to cover it. Maybe there's a reason and maybe not. I would ask what will the MRI results show and how will that help the situation. If they show marked increased damage, then how will you and sister respond? If they are the same, what will you do? What will the doctor do as a result? I would answer these questions and then see if I wanted to fight for another MRI.
I had a friend who fell twice and hit her head. In those instances I did have them take her to the ER to make sure there was not brain trauma. Brain injuries may take a while to show up.
We have to make judgments on each individual fall. Your sister may have felt that the ER was not called for. I have been in that position a few times myself. Sometimes we can be wrong, but we do the best we can.
I can't help you on the will side, as I have no real interest in that piece of it.
My sisiter didn't know if there were any broken bones or if she was bleeding internally. An MRI would show vascular dementia which is still treatable.The other MRI is four years old. Why are you sticking up for the LPN wanna be doctor?Who leaves an 85 y/o person sitting at home after a fall (hitting her head) and treating them with pain pills from where?
And I agree that the will and money are a separate issue. With what you've written, I agree with your sister's medical care of your mom in the example you cited. When my dad fell down a few times, we only took him to the ER when he wanted to go. Otherwise, he stayed home.
The problem with your sister being POA and the re arranging of the inheritance are a separate issue. I think I'll leave that for others to comment on.