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What did she say she was cooking? My mother used to boil water on the stove and forget about it, burning several pots, years before being diagnosed with Alzheimer's. So it isn't an absolute sign... We got her an electric kettle; it shuts off when the water reaches boiling point. If she's cooking imaginary meals, she needs constant supervision and a non-functioning stove.
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It is Surely Signs of her Mind...Getting worse.  As a Caregiver, It is your Responsibility Here, Dear, to Involve Someone you work or Or Protective Services to perhaps Intervene so he doesn't ENDANGER HERSELF.
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Find the breaker switch and turn the power off to the stove when you leave for the day.

You need to nip this in the bud. Unlike leaving water running, or something similar--this could be an fatal problem.

BTW, my dh will routinely put a pan on the stove, turn it on and walk away. He is not 'hard wired' to cook and he just forgets. No dementia, just super forgetful.
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Psittacula May 2019
Einstein would time cooking his soft-boiled egg with a stop watch. At least once he pulled the stopwatch from the boiling water while holding the uncooked egg in his hand.
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How truly Blessed this great Lady is to have You are as Her Carer Overthehill, though it is only for limited hours for now. Sadly this Lady is showing strong signs of alzheimer's or dementia and needs to be examined by a Geriatrition with out delay. Unfortunately it is not safe for this Lady to be alone now and will need 24/7 Care. Alerting the Family immediately and let them know the circumstances.
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Alert the family right away. Please unplug stove or take the knobs off the stove when out of the kitchen until family can figure out long term plans . Also unplug toaster. Anything that can cause fire. This was a big flag that mom needed 24/7 care for us.
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Yes it is a sign. It also could be a sign of something else. Serious either way!
First. Pull knobs off stove. Better yet 9unplug it!
Next time to see doctor. Get her to sign release of information form otherwise, unles you're her power of attorney, they cant tell you what's up.
If its dementia watch Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. Shes an expert on working with dementia patients. I idolize her.
Hugs for you my dear.
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I would say "Dementia? Definitely!...Alzheimer's? Maybe.."
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Yes the poor lady has advanced dementia. past the stage of just forgetting things.
Yes again to the family not seeing it or denying it.
I have been denying my husbands dementia although we live together and I can see it first hand. When he did gross things like blow his nose on my bathrobe I found ways to excuse it instead of saying it was dementia. And I found myself upset with him a lot because he couldn't hand me the milk from the refrigerator because he forgot what the refrigerator was and what the milk was.
My daughter and my sister sat me down one day and said you can't continue to deny this. It is happening, it is here. I finally realized they were right. He was no longer this big strong intelligent man I married and leaned on. His mind is gone and it is time for me to own up to it. One child is with him almost daily, she understands, The other 2 are totally in denial. They are not around him enough to see what is happening so I guess they are still in denial. Things are much more pleasant around here since I have accepted it.
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Unplug it now.
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Keep meticulous notes on what she is doing that concerns you whether it be stove issues, health issues, incontinence etc. Make sure you email both the son and daughter frequently, then you have a copy for your records. If anything happens the son and daughter should have multiple emails from you showing your concern, which will hold them responsible. I would also text them saying you sent an email for them to read.
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Overthehill May 2019
Great idea...I will do this. Thanks for the tip.
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It is important to remember that dementia is the 'umbrella' word/term for many neurological brain disorders /changing brain chemistry - including both behavior and cognitive functioning. She needs to be tested and diagnosed by a medical professional. That matters 'more,' is her safety and not burning down the house. Stove burners can be set to not go on automatically. This is a huge warning sign that this person should not be left alone. Did you notify the family immediately?
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My Father nearly burned house down. Put pan on fell asleep. Luckily had alert system. It picked up fire alarm who alerted fire service. First he knew was 2 fire officers in sitting room. Prior to that he had left gas on but no pot on it. He said carer done it to set him up. The almost burning house down was an isolated mistake according to him. I now know it was dementia. I kept a diary of strange happenings. When I read them now it's so obvious. I suspected at the time of cooker incidents but unsure. I had never had any dealings with any dementia suffererers before. He's now in care facility and still in denial that anything wrong. Wants to get out and live alone. I don't argue it's not worth it.
We need more awareness to society in general. I don't think I am stupid or nieve but missed the subtle signs.
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Janny61 May 2019
You said it. Subtle signs. We just are not experienced in dealing with Alzheimer's and the "symptoms" can be so different, or should I say the "weirdness".

Glad your dad is safe in a home.
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This is a HUGE safety issue. My friend's mom started 3 fires in her kitchen before she moved in with her son and DIL. Once she put the kitchen towels in the drawer beneath the stove. For some reason they caught fire.

I would tell the daughter that her mom could die a fire and everything in the home lost. She need not move out but definitely needs more supervision and modifications in the kitchen.

My dad did weird things. He once took 5 pounds of frozen bacon and laid it all over the counters to thaw. No rhyme or reason. He took bacon out of its package and wrapped each slice in paper towel because he "didn't want to see it". Weird.

If daughter doesn't take action then I'd call APS.
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Simply turn off the gas shut off valve. To the stove.
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I would guess, for most of us, at some point in time we started to see signs...sometimes right under our noses...but it took a while till things added up...and sometimes what was going on was not life-threatening...the point is this is a serious concern for health/safety and welfare so some action must be taken. Namely shutting off the power source or at the very least pulling off the knobs; possibly locking cupboards. And yes, to be sure, notify family or whomever hired you as a caregiver. Dementia is one, likely possibility, but it is far more than this behavior alone. There are steps to be taken before running to APS as it seems the family cares enough to hire someone to help.
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PS...might want to give a heads up to the local fire dept...they can be influential with family if need be and make some safety related suggestions, check on smoke detectors. We also have a knox box, which lets you lock house keys in an outside secure box only the FD can access in an emergency.
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Lynne7 May 2019
Excellent reply. Thank you so much....family's who care and are tuned in will thank you for this.
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Someone (family or APS) needs to take action - OP is only a part-time caregiver trying to address the issue.

I would also say that while many of the issues the woman is exhibiting CAN be attributed to some form of dementia, it is NOT a foregone conclusion. She really needs to be seen by a doctor. There are conditions that could mimic dementia like symptoms (UTIs, imbalance in electrolytes, etc.) She needs a full, in-depth exam and perhaps some testing as well, to determine what the underlying cause(s) is/are.

Since the OP is NOT family, the best she can do is try to provide some immediate protection (disable the stove and microwave) and alert the family members (do this though the company you work for) - if she gets the brush off, bring this to the attention of authorities, such as APS. Have APS meet you there during your scheduled hours. That way they can assess the woman and you can provide additional information, including how little oversight the woman has. Her health and life are in danger and someone who can actually do something must step in. Family may get upset with you stepping in (perhaps might consider this overstepping your bounds, which may lead to termination), but it is the woman who matters here.

While it is necessary, the downside to disabling the stove and microwave (press/hold the Stop/Cancel button for about 3 seconds to lock/unlock the controls - stove, if newer, will have a similar option) is that no one is there to provide cooking/food for her, except for the few measly hours you are hired for (and stay beyond those for free.)

When contact is made with the daughter, make it clear to her that mom's condition needs to be addressed. It doesn't matter how many hours she works, she needs to know AND needs to address the issues - she does not have to stop working and provide care, just get the poor woman the help she needs!

Cover your butt by reporting it to whoever employs you, and if necessary (they do nothing) contact APS. Although this may not constitute abuse, it clearly would be considered neglect on the part of the family.
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Don’t be surprised if after showing family your posts, they get rid of you. I know you mean well, but you should have went to family first. Good luck
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Unplug the stove immediately. Confusion and forgetfulness are, of course, signs of dementia, etc. Do you have contacts with family? Contact them.

Someone below said, "Family may get upset with you stepping in (perhaps might consider this overstepping your bounds, which may lead to termination)"

Why in the world would a family be upset with a hero who might save the woman's life? Outrageous.

If the family is so disinterested, call Protective Family Services in your county.
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Overthehill May 2019
Agree! Saying “nothing” would guarantee me losing my job. The daughter is aware and concerned. It’s new territory for both of us. The responses I’ve received will definitely help get the ball rolling.
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She is likely heating water for coffee or tea. It boils down to nothing. An electric tea kettle with an automatic shut-off would be a good idea. Finding burnt pans is a warning that something is wrong. Either there is a memory issue, a problem with energy like falling asleep too easily, hearing deficit, or loss of sense of smell or all of the above. Time to assess the problem and implement strategies to reduce risk. My mom had poor short term memory for a long time. There are behavioral modifications that can allow them to remain fairly independent. Bought mom a beautiful kitchen timer she could wear around her neck to reduce the chance of not hearing the timer from another room and a Keurig (which has an automatic shut-off). Posted reminders in strategic spots as well; there was a sign on the kitchen table to remind her to stay in the kitchen until she finished the cooking task. Eventually, she needed more assistance which luckily she accepted so she limited her "cooking" to heating up food in the microwave, and making cold cereal and toast. The rest was left to her family and helpers.
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Tell her to stop "drying" the pots and pans with heat from the stove.
She forgets them, ruins the pan. Find a better way to dry them.

My Dad always dried the pans this way.

Then tell her to stop cleaning up before the help arrives, that you will do that.
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my2cents May 2019
I dry cast iron pans like that to make sure there's nothing damp to create rust. You may be right about why she's doing that. Excellent point!
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There is absolutely something MAJORLY WRONG with this lady! I don't understand why you're even questioning it. See that she gets to a doctor before she sets the house on fire!! Do not wait!
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Alzheimers, dementia, UTI, simple forgetfulness there could be any number of factors/reasons for this behavior but My suggestion would be a two pronged approach. Have the family get him checked for any medical issues as well as a neuro-psyc eval or something comparable, at the very least it will establish a baseline for his cognitive abilities that will let them know how it's changing. At the same time, well maybe more immediately suggest they take precautions, maybe as far as unplugging the stove maybe having a conversation with her about not using it unless someone else is around. Maybe you could start preparing frozen meals for her that can be warmed up in the microwave, remove the need for her to use the stove at all. Get an electric kettle so she can just push a button to boil water and if she forgets about it it turns itself off.
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Does it really matter? She’s going to burn the house down! Tell her family immediately so she can get into a safe environment then figure out what the problem is. Personally, I’d unplug the stove until that can be accomplished. Get her some microwaveable food but what in the world is she doing living alone?
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Overthehill May 2019
You are so right. First things first. Unplug the stove, talk to daughter, see her doctor. And see if I can get my hours increased.
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Your profile says you’re a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s, is this the woman you’re referring to in this post?

I apologize as I know this isn’t a reply that’s helpful to you or your situation, I’m just so curious as to how the different types of dementia present.. and might be prevented ☺️
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Overthehill May 2019
I don’t know if she has Alzheimer’s, that’s why I was asking. This is new territory for me. I am also interested in how dementia presents itself. I recently took a class on Alzheimer’s. The symptoms that will develop will be determined by what part of the brain is diseased. The person who conducted the class wrote a book called “The 36 Hour Day. A must read for anyone taking care of a loved one with dementia.
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She is probably forgetting that she was about to prepare something and walked away. Or has forgotten the steps to cooking...like putting the food in the pot. Probably is some form of dementia, but the real issue is her safety. Even if she can handle other chores in the house, the stove needs to become 'broken' immediately. The family needs to come and spend time with her to observe what you are seeing and decide how to deal with it. Many more hours of in home care by others, a relative moving in, or moving to a facility. What if she forgot to turn on cold water when running a bath or shower?? She definitely needs more than part time help.
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Overthehill May 2019
Agree...part time is no where near enough. But thanks to all the advice from everyone I feel like I now have some direction.
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Disconnect the stove & have a toaster oven & microwave only. If she can still read, tape notes where needed such as on the stove "not working" or toaster oven instructions. Post your name & number everywhere. Then make room to eventually move her in with family ❤️ Even though it would seem nursing homes give better care, most don't. They're understaffed & many residents get over medicated to sleep. It may seem impossible to care for an elderly family member but they will do much better in a home environment. It really helps them mentally & over time it will become routine for the family. I've done it for over 8 yrs now. I believe in "do unto others". Good luck :)
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Time to disconnect the stove. We moved MIL's stove out of the home and gave her a nice microwave and toaster. I made all her meals into small containers like tv dinners and she'd heat them up. Another option is (if it's not too dear) an induction cooktop and the proper pans. They won't heat up if the pan is empty. But it really is safer to move to a different cooking system.
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Isthisrealyreal May 2019
Any pan that a magnet will stick to can be used on an induction cooker.

You can get these for around 150.00 for a decent one, they sit on the counter and are much safer than a stove. The catch is the learning curve, they don't just have a knob for on/off high/low.

I believe everyone should have an induction cooker. Stable heat is amazing to cook on.
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I've studied this now for years on end and shall ergo, continue.
Hola.
hi all.

Since mi dear hero, my father has been diagnosed with DEMENTIA, for almost now 2 and a 1/2 years, since early 80s.(He had just turned 83 that year)August, and January 2017 diagnose with DEM(signs of ALZ)i have incessantly to no end began to study such and interviewed so many professionals experts, in such field."

I know that dr.'s, for whom i've interviewed via face-time(on mi i phone) to in person visit to telephone calls et.al., and various research for years, i agree with dr., who said not all have dementia, at all. Not in the least.

Simple "forgetfulness, that's all, at any and or older age."

Not dem/alz.

So, i am not sure about your case with the loving woman you're caring for, but it may as well only be she is forgetting' at times, quite feasible." I wish her much healthier days and i commend you as a part time caretaker, on taking care of her
adios."
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Yes, it’s a red flag that she has some kind of advanced dementia. Please advise it to her doctor. My grandma use to get up in the middle of the night, and turned on stove, and then went to bed while it was on. It was scary.
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