I’m a part-time caregiver for an 86 year old woman. She keeps burning pots and pans when I’m not there. I thought she was “forgetting” that she was cooking until the day I saw the pot on the stove, the flame very high, but nothing in the pot. They get so badly burnt they have to be tossed out. It’s happening more frequently. Is this a sign of Alzheimer’s? She is having memory issues as well.
You need to nip this in the bud. Unlike leaving water running, or something similar--this could be an fatal problem.
BTW, my dh will routinely put a pan on the stove, turn it on and walk away. He is not 'hard wired' to cook and he just forgets. No dementia, just super forgetful.
First. Pull knobs off stove. Better yet 9unplug it!
Next time to see doctor. Get her to sign release of information form otherwise, unles you're her power of attorney, they cant tell you what's up.
If its dementia watch Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. Shes an expert on working with dementia patients. I idolize her.
Hugs for you my dear.
Yes again to the family not seeing it or denying it.
I have been denying my husbands dementia although we live together and I can see it first hand. When he did gross things like blow his nose on my bathrobe I found ways to excuse it instead of saying it was dementia. And I found myself upset with him a lot because he couldn't hand me the milk from the refrigerator because he forgot what the refrigerator was and what the milk was.
My daughter and my sister sat me down one day and said you can't continue to deny this. It is happening, it is here. I finally realized they were right. He was no longer this big strong intelligent man I married and leaned on. His mind is gone and it is time for me to own up to it. One child is with him almost daily, she understands, The other 2 are totally in denial. They are not around him enough to see what is happening so I guess they are still in denial. Things are much more pleasant around here since I have accepted it.
We need more awareness to society in general. I don't think I am stupid or nieve but missed the subtle signs.
Glad your dad is safe in a home.
I would tell the daughter that her mom could die a fire and everything in the home lost. She need not move out but definitely needs more supervision and modifications in the kitchen.
My dad did weird things. He once took 5 pounds of frozen bacon and laid it all over the counters to thaw. No rhyme or reason. He took bacon out of its package and wrapped each slice in paper towel because he "didn't want to see it". Weird.
If daughter doesn't take action then I'd call APS.
I would also say that while many of the issues the woman is exhibiting CAN be attributed to some form of dementia, it is NOT a foregone conclusion. She really needs to be seen by a doctor. There are conditions that could mimic dementia like symptoms (UTIs, imbalance in electrolytes, etc.) She needs a full, in-depth exam and perhaps some testing as well, to determine what the underlying cause(s) is/are.
Since the OP is NOT family, the best she can do is try to provide some immediate protection (disable the stove and microwave) and alert the family members (do this though the company you work for) - if she gets the brush off, bring this to the attention of authorities, such as APS. Have APS meet you there during your scheduled hours. That way they can assess the woman and you can provide additional information, including how little oversight the woman has. Her health and life are in danger and someone who can actually do something must step in. Family may get upset with you stepping in (perhaps might consider this overstepping your bounds, which may lead to termination), but it is the woman who matters here.
While it is necessary, the downside to disabling the stove and microwave (press/hold the Stop/Cancel button for about 3 seconds to lock/unlock the controls - stove, if newer, will have a similar option) is that no one is there to provide cooking/food for her, except for the few measly hours you are hired for (and stay beyond those for free.)
When contact is made with the daughter, make it clear to her that mom's condition needs to be addressed. It doesn't matter how many hours she works, she needs to know AND needs to address the issues - she does not have to stop working and provide care, just get the poor woman the help she needs!
Cover your butt by reporting it to whoever employs you, and if necessary (they do nothing) contact APS. Although this may not constitute abuse, it clearly would be considered neglect on the part of the family.
Someone below said, "Family may get upset with you stepping in (perhaps might consider this overstepping your bounds, which may lead to termination)"
Why in the world would a family be upset with a hero who might save the woman's life? Outrageous.
If the family is so disinterested, call Protective Family Services in your county.
She forgets them, ruins the pan. Find a better way to dry them.
My Dad always dried the pans this way.
Then tell her to stop cleaning up before the help arrives, that you will do that.
I apologize as I know this isn’t a reply that’s helpful to you or your situation, I’m just so curious as to how the different types of dementia present.. and might be prevented ☺️
You can get these for around 150.00 for a decent one, they sit on the counter and are much safer than a stove. The catch is the learning curve, they don't just have a knob for on/off high/low.
I believe everyone should have an induction cooker. Stable heat is amazing to cook on.
Hola.
hi all.
Since mi dear hero, my father has been diagnosed with DEMENTIA, for almost now 2 and a 1/2 years, since early 80s.(He had just turned 83 that year)August, and January 2017 diagnose with DEM(signs of ALZ)i have incessantly to no end began to study such and interviewed so many professionals experts, in such field."
I know that dr.'s, for whom i've interviewed via face-time(on mi i phone) to in person visit to telephone calls et.al., and various research for years, i agree with dr., who said not all have dementia, at all. Not in the least.
Simple "forgetfulness, that's all, at any and or older age."
Not dem/alz.
So, i am not sure about your case with the loving woman you're caring for, but it may as well only be she is forgetting' at times, quite feasible." I wish her much healthier days and i commend you as a part time caretaker, on taking care of her
adios."