I’m a part-time caregiver for an 86 year old woman. She keeps burning pots and pans when I’m not there. I thought she was “forgetting” that she was cooking until the day I saw the pot on the stove, the flame very high, but nothing in the pot. They get so badly burnt they have to be tossed out. It’s happening more frequently. Is this a sign of Alzheimer’s? She is having memory issues as well.
You need to nip this in the bud. Unlike leaving water running, or something similar--this could be an fatal problem.
BTW, my dh will routinely put a pan on the stove, turn it on and walk away. He is not 'hard wired' to cook and he just forgets. No dementia, just super forgetful.
In any event, her safety is threatened. Get her help.
People with dementia have no concept of time and she could be there in the middle of the night thinking she's cooking something and start a fire or even die from smoke inhalation!
I can't believe some of the stuff I read on here.
Like caregivers don't have a clue what kind of danger they put their relative or loved one in by allowing or overlooking dangerous or destructive behaviour. It's like the person closest to the problem can't see it!
I know my dad didn't realize my mom was slipping badly until I pointed it out to him. often the spouse is The last one to figure it out.
Don't ignore odd behavior in elderly family or friends. One in three people over 80 have Alzheimer or dementia of some type now. It's an epidemic!
I came home from being gone all day to a house filled with gas from the stove. Mom loves candles, too. I took the knobs off. Mom wasn’t happy.
Another instance...she left a gallon of milk in her trunk. We couldn’t figure out at first what the smell was. I thought it could’ve been some wet clothes. It became SO strong and Mom could not smell it.
I took Mom to get an MRI. Mild Cognitive Impairment identified and told to prepare for the worst.
Probably these are signs of encroaching dementia. They are definitely signs that the person shouldn't be on their own.
Is there family you can discuss your concerns with?
This woman should not be left alone.
The stove should be "disabled" if she is alone.
If you can not disable the stove totally then remove the knobs so she can not turn it on.
You should discuss this with the doctor as soon as possible but if it will be a while then you should report this to your supervisor (should do that as well) so that you have alerted your "superiors" to a potentially hazardous situation.
Unfortunately many people will only act after a catastrophic event. ("we" ..people tend to be REactive not a PROactive ) No one wants to admit that their loved one is declining or needs help.
But seeing what you are seeing in order to protect your client as well as the agency you need to report ASAP you observations. And if this is a decline since she was first evaluated for service then this is an indication of a decline that the agency should be made aware of simply because she may need more care than you are able to give. (24/7 not just a few hours daily)
"Son is out of state and will not help. Daughter has to work to support herself and is a few hours away." The sad fact is that most Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. Most Americans have not saved for retirement. Many Americans are choosing between putting food on the table and gas in the tank. The son and daughter may not be in denial but rather be struggling themselves to keep their noses above water.
I would document your concerns. Take pictures of the burned pots, popcorn, soiled clothing, etc. Show and discuss the pictures with your supervisor and come up with a plan. Your supervisor may decide APS has to be called. Before calling, I would want to know exactly what APS can do to help this woman.
Additionally, since she seems to like crunchy treats (and it doesn’t sound like choking while eating is yet a concern) perhaps you could lay in a supply of crunchy foods which don’t require stove or microwave cooking: bite-size shredded wheat, Cheerios, puffed cereals, crunchy crackers to eat with pre-cubed cheese, etc...
Luckily, nutrition doesn’t seem to be a problem, but burning down the house is an immediate must-be-stopped problem. I trust she has working fire and smoke detectors?
If the lady is capable and willing I would try to place a call to the adult children. In the course of this discussion I would gently bring up the issue. Nobody can legally prevent her from calling her family. When adult children live far away and an agency is involved in her care, they expect the agency to act immediately. They may also be in denial and deciding someone is over reacting to her "off" behavior.
Adult Protective Services will intervene, if notified. That will put the ball in everyone's court - any agency, family, you. Everyone will get on the same page.
In our area if a caretaker is known to have had knowledge of a dangerous situation, such as what you are describing, family and law can be very unforgiving. You "allowed" this to persist - unless you have documentation reflecting otherwise.
Agencies and families scramble to assign responsibility to someone for allowing such a dangerous situation to continue. In our community, news articles almost always name the caretaker as the person arrested or fined for allowing this to persist. This person may get relief if employed by a reputable agency, but usually the immediate caretaker is swept into the mess no matter who is finally determined to be at fault.
Additionally, the bad guy - in this case you- typically faces future legal and future employment problems. If you're not with an agency it's especially important that you remove yourself from this situation entirely. Call Adult Protective Services ASAP.
In my twenties I had insomnia and I put my car keys in the fridge, milk in the oven. Finally went to sleep and when I woke up I thought somebody else did it. I came to realize that it was me because there was no body else there. I lived alone! The things we do when we don't get enough sleep. LOL!
She some other kitchen adventures. She knew that coffee in the pot had to be poured but she forgot the cup and poured coffee onto the counter, twice before she quit that. She forgot how to set the micro wave and blew up a cup of coffee.
She would drink the worcestershire sauce straight from the bottle until I hid it.
She had other strange things with food. Luckily I was at home with her. She could not be left alone, so when I needed togoto the store I would hire a companion to sit with her.