My inlaws are in their late 50s and retired. They would like us to move into their home when they move here in 2 years. MIL has history of dementia on her side and is already showing signs. FIL has heart and other health problems and is also deteriorating mentally. I'm looking for a list of questions to ask them (what are their expectations, what is their financial situation, etc.). I'd like to know if there is a resource or if you have experience with this type of thing. They will probably be able to take care of themselves for at least 5, maybe 10 years. And I'd like to make sure that all 4 of us are clear on what the long-term plan is for when their health declines.
What do we need to consider regarding the MIL's imminent dementia?
I may be the only one working full-time - my husband has fibromyalgia and is going to be applying for disability.
I'm also worried about the MIL, DIL dynamic. we get along superficially, but aren't very close and have had a few tiffs in the past.
Thank
2. Make sure all their paperwork is there and in order. In an emergency, you will need to act on your parent’s behalf and therefore you (or another reliable family member) will have to hold legal authority. They will need to have signed a durable power of attorney and/or a DNR (depending on their wishes and beliefs). Also, a durable power of attorney for health care, and a living will is highly advisable. These forms are often available at local senior centers.
3. Talk about the prospect of hiring a live-in nurse or someone that could provide geriatric care, if needed. Again, like number one, this is often a difficult conversation to have, but will help in gaining a better understanding of the needs of your parents, as well as their wishes.
I encourage everyone with thoughts and/or experiences on the matter to chime in and share information with other readers who may be struggling with similar issues. The more valuable information, the better.
Best to all in the decision making-I hope the article was of help~
Hap