I know the test results place him in a group with moderate dimensia
during a time he was being treated for sepsis which has a a symptom confusion.
heck my cousion when she was 8 got septic her 10,12 year old syblings explained it she got confused then had to go to hospital.

Another article said u can tell when someone cant live alone by house keeping expired food in fridge. losing weight..none r his issues.

He has a stubborn personality and maybe fear. his stubborn personality might be causing a premature dementia diagnosis.

which is frustratin because if he would just cooperate, it wouldnt appear to be dimentia

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Unless you have Medical POA and Dad has been declared incompetent, no a doctor cannot discuss your fathers medical with you. Dad can place you on HIPPA paperwork, if he is competent.

As said, wait till the sepsis clears up then take him to a Neurologist. IMO a PCP knows a little about everything, and a lot about nothing. A Neurologist will test Dad and have tests done to see if there is any presence of Dementia.
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baileyif Oct 2022
He finished his POA long ago when he acted as POA for his mother with dementia.. she had nothing prepared so he had to go to court to do that.. he didn't want us to have to go through that prepared his POA giving us liberal control Incase of his own dementis.. how that changes when situation occurs.. A POA means nothing until 2docs sign.
1doc signed 1refused... My sister is designated POa and listed as contact if dad can't be reached. I am 2nd contact if either dad or my sister can't be reached... So I not a stranger in his medical records.
I am also single never been married and has his last name
Nursing homes (and a lot of doctors) tend to see dementia everywhere because that's what they expect to see in anyone over a certain age. Plus health care providers in hospital and rehab only have the person in front of them to judge by, they have no idea if someone has been confused for years or they were out leading a full life just days ago.
Make it clear that you are not privy to his health information and you are not able to provide full time care because he may be telling them a different story. But you can't fix stubborn and uncooperative, as hard as it may be you may need to step back and let the chips fall where they may.
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We didnt find out it was sepsis until after he was discharged from hospital an nursing home he went to for physical therapy...after discharge he had to go to all his doctors for post fall evaluation.

He had to go to doctor he saw when he had a blood clot in his leg years ago...that doctor told us he had gotten septic. Hospital never commeted about dimentia or confusion they knew what they were treating. the nursing home said it was advanced dimentia...I was mad about that cause nursing homes dont diagnose. doctors diagnose.

The morning he fell my sister cut his hair...he seemed normal to her.

his follow up appointment his PCP diagnosed dimentia and started him on 6 month appointments, I guess to figure out what and how much. Then refused to update the family on the results..If i had not seen the appointment follow up papers, I would not have known he had been diagnosed with dimentia and had 6 month follow up appointments now. When he saw me reading the appointment results he had left on table---he grabbed it hid it from me said it was non of my business.. Its very frustrating for a doc to diagnose dimentia then refuse based on HIPPA to provide family information..whats up with that? people with dimentia have hippa right? He also ok'd dad to drive and live at home alone with family support- keepng an eye on him family support. not do anything family support.

I have ms and some diagnosis require time to diagnose, so i know about that. Maybe dementia is one such diagnosis. takes time its not just test results done on that 1 day. I often say MS is like aging on steroids- or tell people when they catch up with me i will have all kind of tips to help with aging.

And no, he wont agree to anything not even wear a fall alert necklace

I found alice in wonder land's- the glass is safe and secure,
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If you (and he) don't think he has dementia, then wait for him to be fully treated and recovered from his sepsis and then have him take a cognitive/memory test. Then you'll know for sure. If he refuses the test... then you'll have to make some decisions about how much effort you will put into convincing him to take better are of himself. Spoiler alert: he won't.

What caused his sepsis? It doesn't come from nothing, something had to happen to him? A UTI? A small wound that got infected? My 103-yr old Aunt became septic due to a small cat bite on her ankle. She didn't think anything of it, she said it didn't hurt, but she couldn't see it or reach it to treat it.

You said he's been stubborn all his life. Yet you muse, if only "he would just cooperate"... but you keep wanting him to be someone he apparently never was. So you see a future of frustration in dealing with him. Do you really want to go down that path? It can go on for a long time and at a great personal cost to you. If he gets back home and things don't improve, then consider reporting him to APS. They have a way of helping "stubborn" seniors.
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If you are lying awake at night and are constantly checking in during the day because you worry that he may do something that may cause harm to himself or others it's a pretty good sign that he can't be trusted to live alone. Or.... you have become paranoid and obsessive 😉.
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Being stubborn is one thing. (Trust me I was married to a man that I called (sorry if this offends anyone) "My Stubborn pig-headed German" for over 30 years)
there is a big difference between the stubborn and the dementia.
Getting lost in a familiar area is dementia not stubborn.
Not changing clothes is dementia not stubborn.
Not showering is dementia not stubborn.
Not knowing how to make a meal, or remembering to make it is dementia not stubborn.
When it is no longer safe for a person with dementia to remain at home alone the decision is then Are caregivers hired to care for this person or Do we look for Memory Care for this person. (Memory Care NOT Assisted Living)
If your dad is a Veteran the VA might be of help to you getting help for your dad.
You can also contact your local Agency on Aging and see what services are available in your area.
Since dad is in rehab now you can also talk tot he Social Worker or Discharge Planner and discuss options.

With dementia he can not "just cooperate" his brain is not working properly and he can not do what you want him to do.
Dementia will NOT get better. It will get WORSE and he will need more and more care. If you are not able to provide that physically, mentally and emotionally you need to look into Memory Care placement for him.
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JoAnn29 Oct 2022
My Dads Grandmother was Amish. Very stubborn family. Dad used to say my brother was a "stubborn Duetchman". My Mom's Dads side was German decent.
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