My mom does not qualify for Medicaid, nor are we financially loaded. Just a regular middle class family. I have looked into the cost of assisted living and nursing homes and I almost fell off my chair. The cheapest I have found for assisted living, which is probably the stage my mother is in now, but would then need memory care, is over three thousand dollars per month. OMG!
Are there other alternatives to assisted living like being in a group place or something else? I wish my mom could live with me but I just couldn't emotionally take it as she has moderate dementia and other personality issues.
Don't "keep taking the tablets" if they don't suit you, but do look after your health as well as you can.
FOR CARE SUCK,WE NEED A NEW SYSTEM PERIOD! We ALL FACE THIS AND OUR KIDS,I NEVER KNEW UNTIL THE TIME CAME THAT OUR GOVERNMENT DIDN'T HAVE A BETTER PLAN FOR ELDERLY.ok,
I'm Done,thank you.
There simply needs to be other housing models besides aging-in-place (where costs are prohibitive); aging with family (where costs, time, and social needs are lacking); or FOR PROFIT institutional care. LESS THAN 5% of all over age 65 live in ANY KIND OF INSTITUTIONAL SETTING (independent, assisted, memory or full care). If you check out the biggest providers of healthcare, you'll find CEOs compensated in the range of $30 to 50 million annually; and CEOs of the biggest providers of Senior are compensated $5 to 10 million while paying actual caregivers $10-$15 per hour. I could cite more statistics, but the only ones that count are population vs earnings. Those over age 65 are now about 20% of the total population. As boomers and their progeny retire over the next 20 years, Seniors will represent almost 40% of total population. Add children and those truly unable to contribute and there's simply not enough workers to sustain current models of housing/healthcare or living. There IS NO MAGIC ANSWER - we either change or the system will fail. Meanwhile, our elected representatives twiddle their thumbs, increase their pay and provide higher standards of living for themselves than for those who elected them.
But, back to reality, how do the other 95% of those over 65 cope with the situation that exists. In the aging-in-place model, there is not only the cost of maintaining a home, but loneliness which is now attributed to be equally as unhealthy as smoking alcoholism, or diabetes. We seek medical care because we are scared and lonely and Medicare/medicaid picks up the tab without our even knowing the cost. A night in the hospital which was excessive at $1000 thirty years ago is now obscene at $10,000-$30,000.
One solution is banding together under the same principles of cavemen and colonists - sharing the space, the work, and the bounties (the basis of Cooperative or CoHousing. For those healthy enough, as little as taking on a housemate could double household resources. If 4 are each struggling to live on $60K annually, if they banded together, household income would be $240K, enough to hire assistance in the form of cleaning, transport, medicine management, keeping the larder stocked and meal preparation. This is a different mind set - but it can be our reality and it has the potential to get us and our kids through the next several decades of a social/health/financial problem that is only going to grow. Among my friends and with help of Social Media (some new technology is helpful!) , we've created a group who are in the process of selling our homes with the intent to buy into a small condo project nearby. We're not planning a takeover - just to have proximity to each other and to the goods, services, healthcare and cultural opportunities that we already know. Sale of our homes will add to each of our assets to be used to supplement fixed income. And that will allow to re-allocate spending to some shared costs (housekeeping, transportation and anything else for which we can collectively bargain).
We'll have small separate living units, but with the intent of our daily social needs being resolved by being companionable neighbors. One of our otherwise healthy friends is currently in memory care assisted living - which could be any of us within the next decade - whose family has agreed to support her decision to buy with us and ours to include and watch after her. That doesn't mean we are obligated to replace any special care any individual might need (which remains a responsibility of their estates), but we want to include up front a small percentage of those whose care needs are higher than the groups so that we will have an understanding of group dynamics for the time that any of us may need attention that the group cannot provide.
Every act of care doesn't have to be profitable. I've never been in favor of law restricting the amount a person could "earn." Still, there's something basically wrong with the model in which the actual caregivers in Assisted Living facilities average $13/hour, while the facility Director averages $36/hour and so on through state and regional management to the CEO averages a whopping $480/hour before management bonuses and stock options which bring his/her take to an obscene $3,000/hour.
Still, if you don't have the time, willingness, or energy to participate in management of the care of an individual or in cooperating with others to manage the direction of an ongoing group with common interests - then you will have to pay for the privilege of others providing services you can't or won't provide. Yes, we'll still have to seek legal and perhaps social guidance to protect ourselves and family earnings/assets from government overreach and we'll need to lobby on behalf of family and friends being compensated for care-giving. But if lower costs and higher satisfaction are goals with which you can help, there are options.
Apologies in advance for anything sounding offensive or non caring about the rights or entitlements of others (salaries, welfare, etc), I' m just sick of seeing the assets of what was the middle-class backbone of this country drained off to attorneys, pseudo services such as A Place for Mom who basically gives you a list of housing providers who will pay them a commission if you move there; and dozens upon dozens of governmental offices and non-profits who are in the job-creation/information disseminating business. What we need is affordable housing that meets our physical, social and financial realities. We need to spend our resources on those who are actually helping improve our daily lives.
Sometimes families have to put themselves out to help elderly even when it's not convenient. After all those parents did that for many years while they were growing up. And the way they treat their parents is teaching their children how they should treat them.