My husband misplaces everything in odd places, throws out things we need to keep, wears clothes and not pajamas to bed, talks to himself in mumbles, can no longer read and doesn’t like TV. I don’t seem to be able to interest him in anything except helping me with the laundry. Any ideas?
One trick that someone mentioned was to keep producing laundry but not really.....just recycle the clean clothes he's already sorted or folded because he won't know you didn't just wash them. I haven't tried it, though. The sorting laundry thing has never worked for me with any of the family dementia patients I've overseen.
Company for him might work. Bring in a companion to just sit with him and listen to music or do some other activity while you do something else. My husband enjoys visits from a "friend" who is actually a guy that I recruited to keep him company occasionally.
Adult Day Program will help both of you. It gets him out of the house a few days a week and into a structured program. And you get to do some things on your own.
Hiring a caregiver will help greatly. They can take over some of the tasks that you have to do and at some point, if it is not there already you will not be able to leave him alone.
It is great that he will still help you with laundry.
You also have to take over some of the ADL's (that is Activities of Daily Living) that he can no longer manage on his own.
Getting ready for bed. When it is time to go to bed YOU need to help him get into pajamas. Tell him you need to wash his clothes. You can set out clothes for him to put on in the morning.
Is he toileting properly? Does he wear incontinent underwear or regular underwear? Are they getting soiled and changed appropriately?
Is he washing hands? Brushing teeth?
Are you going to be able to manage him as he declines and becomes more dependent on you?
You could contact a Hospice in your area and have him evaluated. If he qualifies for Hospice you would have a Nurse that would come every week to check on him. A CNA that would come 2 maybe 3 times a week to give him a shower or bath. Both would order needed supplies and equipment.
Hospice is NOT about 6 months or fewer. My Husband was on Hospice for almost 3 years. As long as there is a documented continued decline he would qualify. I would not have been able to care for my Husband the way I did had it not been for Hospice.
They have lots of different activities daily to keep the folks occupied and feed them breakfast, lunch and a snack.
They also offer a spa day where your loved one can get shower, shave and haircut if needed.
And if money is an issue they do offer help with that, as does the VA if your husband is a veteran. It is worth every penny. Plus it gives you the much needed breaks so you can get done what you need to without having to worry about your husband.
And other than what Geaton mentioned below about sorting various things I will also recommend playing his favorite music, as music is very powerful with folks with dementia, as where music is stored in the brain is not where the damage occurs from the dementia.
I wish you the very best as you travel this very difficult road with your husband.
Have you had him checked for a UTI, just to make sure? When did he get his diagnosis? I'm sorry you're dealing with this... are you getting breaks for yourself? You need to make sure to do self care!