What they perceive or believe they "SHOULD " have to (or not have) to do for themselves?
There seems to be a direct correlation between what my AD person believes and doesn't believe she should "have" to do for herself and how the symptoms of her dementia manifest themselves.
For example opening and closing doors, turning lights on and off, putting on or taking off clothes, picking up or dropping things on the floor, getting into and out of chairs. It seems it is her belief that that she should not have to be responsible for these types of actions anymore and that the perception she wants from others is that it is the disease or that she is no longer capable or knows the difference, If someone doesn't do them for her she knows the difference. Can anyone explain this to me?
I can't control it or help it, it compels me and is part of what makes me who I am.
I want an objective truth so my understanding has a solid foundation. The truth is separate from either of us. It is what it is. She doesn't control it and neither do I.
I think the AD patient's functioning is pretty darn erratic. He doesn't notice some things - doesn't even see them. Then he will fixate on an object, and want to know all about it and where it should be.
The real question for you as a caregiver is, what do you want to believe? Does it make you happier to suspect that she is trying to run a number on you? Or does it make you happier to believe that she is so far gone in the disease that she is really only doing what she is able to do? I would say to tell yourself a story that makes YOU happier or more energized or calmer. Being pissed off can be energizing!