We have two bathrooms. It used to be one for 'us' and the one in the hall for guests. Then DH started using my toothbrush, so I got clear plastic placemats and wrote our name on each of them, and put each of our 'stuff' on our personalized placemat. He continued to use my toothbrush, so moved my 'stuff' into the hall bathroom. Bought a new toothbrush, again. He went into MY bathroom (hall) and used my toothbrush. Thought he was jealous of me having a new brush, so bought him one too. Finally had to hide my toothbrush.
So, I got up this morning to find that DH had gone to the bathroom in the hall bathroom during the night, and must have wet the bathmat that goes around the toilet, because it was now in the bathtub. Immediately checked the bottom cuffs of his pj's, and they were wet, the sheets were wet, and he didn't have a clue as to why I was pissed (carefully chosen wording here). All this before "Merry Christmas's" were exchanged! At least everything is fixable...almost everything. Wish I could fix the Alzheimer's.
My husband is in the early stages of dementia. He doesn’t have bathroom issues yet, but I know that’s coming. He gets so confused…I get impatient…he has no idea of why I’m always so angry. If we can’t fix dementia, we need to come up with a way to “fix” our anger. I hate myself a little more each day because of my anger towards him. I am not the personality type to grin and bear it very well. I’ve never been good at biting my tongue or walking on eggshells. I have no idea of how we will get through this. Money is very limited, so I won’t be able to afford help until it gets near impossible for me to care for him. I’m getting worried because my only asset is the house, and how on earth will I be able to sell it, when it reeks of urine?!? Yeah, that’s down the road and I shouldn’t worry now. But I do.
Holidays are just another thing that’s taken from us with this dementia. Christmas will be new hard when our spouses are in a facility. And yet a different hard when our spouse are passed. This dementia thing just has several levels of hard. It’s very cruel.
Since we can’t fix dementia (someday they will), we’ll just work on keeping our sanity, even in small ways. This season, maybe admire the decorations (if you were able to put any up), look at some of the nice cards (if you got any) go online and pick out something nice for yourself (if you can afford it). Even just take a hot cup of coffee and step outside and take in some cold air. Any little thing that will give you some peace of mind will do.
I feel your exasperation in your post. If I could post a big hug for you, I would.
Sounds like hubby is certainly giving you a run for your money! Good idea to hide your toothbrush! I guess anything you don't want him fussing with, hide it. Maybe put a baby lock on a cabinet so your stuff will stay clean and in place.
So sorry about the bathroom issues. That is the WORST. Wet jammies in the bed? Yuck. Do you still share a room and bed? Is it a master suite with bathroom attached? If so, maybe lock him in the bedroom with you so he can't access the other bathroom and pee here, there, everywhere?
My FIL had early onset dementia (mid 60s) and used to pee in all kinds of fun places. In an open suitcase! In the trash! Things you'd just never expect from a grown man. But dementia changes EVERYTHING.
This is an excellent place to vent and have someone be able to understand your issues. I hope you are not the 24/7 lone caregiver. Get some assistance if so. This kind of caregiving is very tiring and draining.
But be sure to leave one there that he thinks is yours, so he can use it.
Always buy two of everything now.
Keep the litter box in the tub, and I'll tell you, the cats were none too happy with the rug in 'their' bathroom area!
I wonder if using a urinal might work for him. And perhaps a baby monitor so you would be aware when he's up and about at night.