Any advice on dealing with my elderly parent who I really don’t get along with anymore?

You don't need counseling and it probably wouldn't help your parents either. Why would your parents want to take responsibility for their meals when you and your sister jump in and take care of feeding them. Step back from the situation and let them fend for themselves. They won't sit and starve. They will get up and fix their own food. Make sure their medical needs are met. Love them, but don't cater to their whims.

I think your profile says it all: your folks are DEPRESSED and showing the textbooks signs OF depression. They need to get to their PCPs and chat about getting on an anti depressant now. With depression comes the lack of motivation for doing ANYTHING, really: cooking, cleaning, moving off the sofa. Lots of people found themselves suffering with depression after the ridiculous and draconian Covid lockdowns.

My suggestion to you is to have a heart-to-heart talk with your folks; let them know how much you love them and how concerned you are for their well being right now. Offer to get them to the doctor for a physical and to get medication to help them feel better. Offer to take a walk with them OUTSIDE every day, too; sometimes fresh air will help. Remind them that we ALL need help from time to time, especially after the lockdowns when we're all a bit down. Let them know that you sisters have your own busy lives and can no longer do 'everything' for them, that they have to help out too, and the first step is to admit there's a problem going on that needs attention. Once you get over that hurdle, things should be easier in general.

Wishing you the best of luck getting them the medical attention they need!

By doing all you are doing you are enabling. No one will even truly know what is happening, and if your parents are actually able to act for themselves at this point. You are also enmeshing yourself and your sister in this whole thing while saying that you feel you don 't really "get along" with your parents.
As Beatty here always says, there will be no solutions as long as you are all the solutions. You and your sister should sit together, perhaps with an hour or two of time from a Licensed Social Worker who does counseling on life transitions, and decide the best approach here. Then approach your parents with it.
I wish you a lot of luck.

As long as you and your sister continue to do for them they will never step up and do for themselves. So STOP!!!
Just because your parents have decided to become lazy and blame it on the lockdown that's on them not you or your sister.
If they get hungry enough one of them will figure out once again how to use the oven or microwave. Or better yet, since they both spend a lot of time online, they can just order food to be delivered.
Quit babying them for Pete's sake! They're grown a** adults and are more than capable of taking care of themselves. Your sister and you need to just step back and let the chips fall where they may. Time for you both to be the bigger of the adults in this situation.

Strong suggestion, back off. You believe your parents are capable to caring for themselves so let them do it. Stop jumping in. They won’t starve. Leave them to it. Your mother may be depressed but it’s not on you to do it all, she won’t change or get help with you providing all they need.

Rockaway
I think you and your sis have it about right. Therapy for the two of you to figure out what the best plan is and how to develop boundaries. It’s a very nice treat to bring your parents a home cooked meal once or twice a month, but daily is setting yourself up for 10 years or more of hard labor.

It is not unusual for women your moms age to decide they are done. The problem is when she “retired” no one gave her a party and now she is trying to entertain herself with the computer. If they can afford the activities they are pursuing they can pay for help.

Meals on wheels is not moms cooking or yours but it’s a meal delivered to their door and no one has to figure it out. They get what is on the menu that day.
A housekeeper that comes in on a regular basis will reduce moms workload.

Since you don’t mention what dad used to do, I assume not the chores you are doing now. If there is lawn care or honey dos I hope you haven’t also signed up your husbands for those chores.

if they are ready for an ALF and can afford it, start looking but if they are wanting to live at home awhile longer, then they need “the talk” about getting help to lighten moms load which has now become yours.

I doubt seriously she or he will decide to go back to doing the chores they used to do but the alternative is not to load it onto you and sis.

Practice saying no or a little softer verse….“I couldn’t possibly do that.*” If you don’t work now, get a job or do something to make it easier for you to say no or make that therapy appointment.

*Poster Frequent Flyer had to use this for her parents in their late 90s when they wanted her to do things she was too old to do, Remember you are getting older as they “age in place”. It’s later than you think.

You are disabling them. When my kids were little and wouldn't eat, the doctor said "they will when they get hungry".

Like PeggySue said, why should they do anything if your willing to do it. COVID is here to stay. Just like the flu. Time to get them to the doctor to have labs done and a goid physical. Moms depression can be caused by something physical, like low potassium levels. There are meds for depression. Time to get them out and about now Spring is here. If the house is getting too much, time to downsize.

Folks here will tell you that there’s no solution if you are the solution.

My in-laws are sort of like this. When they went down in acuity, we got called upon for everything down to their litter pan.

If they want their house cleaned, then they do it themselves or bring in someone. If they want their yard done, same thing.