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Please no lectures or negative rants. I know my rights, responsibilities and limits, just would like some kind words or helpful tips with this specific question. :)



My mom turns to me as a support when needed - with my consent. She has high anxiety due to her lot in life and lifestyle. I encourage her regularly to try a counsellor, talk to her doctor or try calming exercises and she often takes my suggestions- but that is not my point...



I sometimes feel frustrated when she is panicking. Apparently I sound calm when talking with her but I certainly don't feel it inside. It can really rattle me especially when it takes so long to figure out what the root of the issue is.



Any "in the moment" tips for me to feel calmer on the inside when it is happening?



Or, if you have a good resource I can tap into to support me as I work with her anxiety that would be great.



Thank you.

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Honestly, I'd kind of repeat what she's saying back to her and ask her questions about how she feels about the situation. Be a mirror for her rather than the one who's supposed to find the answers or fix the problem, because it really is on her to do that.

That's what a therapist would do -- be a sounding board, but not really someone who provides the answers. A good therapist helps the patient figure things out for themselves. Since she won't go to a therapist, this technique might work for you.

Good luck -- that's a burden you don't need.
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We have to be very careful to pay attention to how caregiving is affecting us. Its hard for whatever you are dealing with not to get into your spirit. We may need some of the services we may recomend for them. I have an relative that I feel can use some help, but she doesn't identify. She has no kids and she thinks she has it all together.Personality type is suspicious and untrusting. I see where she can begin to help herself and have a better life because I've learned so much on services but she doesn't think it applies to her. I'm looking for a questionare that would let her know if you can identify with these issues you can use some help.
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Hummingbird9 Oct 2022
A questionaire of some sort on stress or anxiety may be helpful. Maybe she would consider doing that with me. I see many parallels with your relative. If you find one please post it, as will I!

What do you do to care for your spirit, especially knowing you could help your relative if she allowed?
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Hi! You say that mother “She has high anxiety due to her lot in life and lifestyle”. If this really is the cause of her anxiety, perhaps you could work to improve “her lot in life and lifestyle”. Some more information might give you useful suggestions?
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