Any reason why she doesn’t like her music anymore?

When the disease progresses, they change. My dementia mom looked at catalogs & magazines all day long for the last 3 1/2 years while watching T.V. Suddenly, she completely lost interest in the catalogs and magazines. I noticed a difference in my mom’s behavior too. Something had changed with her. It is the disease progression. When my mom first moved into our house 4 years ago, she could run errands with me, walk in the neighborhood 1.2 miles, fold clothes and towels, match up socks, helped with putting utensil away in drawer, etc. Suddenly all these things she loved to do gradually one by one slowly stopped because the disease was progressing which changed her very slowly. Grocery store and errands stopped due to combative behavior, walking stopped due to losing her balance, folding clothes, towels including matching socks she could no longer remember how to fold or match up the socks. Putting silverware away she could no longer do either. The progression of the disease starts out mild at first, but it gets worse with time.
 By the time we moved my mom in the house took her to a neurologist she was diagnosed stage 6 severe cognitive decline. Now, she is Stage 7 Severe. Between those two stages it was 2 years. When we reflect on the last 10 years all the signs of the disease were there, but my mom hid it well from us.
It sounds like your mom is in the early first stage of the disease. The only thing I recommend to you is enjoy your time with your mom because she will gradually change. Be sure you get a Power of Attorney now if there is not one. Please do not put that off like I did! Every person’s journey with the disease is different but the progression is all the same.
It is wonderful all the things you are doing for your mom!
I hope this helps you.

It does seem like you and your mom are at the beginning of a long road. My mom was similar to yours while she was at her home. She used to love Christmas music. I knew something was really wrong when I brought a Christmas cd over and started playing it one day two Christmases ago. She wanted it turned off right away. My jaw dropped. She said those songs just make her sad now. I suppose because it brings to mind happier times with people now long gone. Same with jigsaw puzzles. She always had one in the works. Now she won't even let me take the lid off. She says maybe she'll work on the puzzles when things calm down. Today she lives here with me because she can do literally no activities of daily living without help, not to mention caring for her cats. She doesn't even recognize me about half the time. This disease has taken her brain/ memory / personality / abilities in such a gradual, subtle way. Bit by bit. I'm just saying that even if placing your mom isn't the right thing right now, it could become so eventually. It is good to use this time to prepare yourself for the possibility, and come to terms with how you will deal with it while taking care of yourself too. As they say, hope for the best, plan for the worst.

I have to say there were many red flags with my mom, that I just didn’t see… mostly because I lived in a different state.

this is a red flag for you. Your mom is declining..it may be just a nibble here, but things will change.

So, make certain you cover the bases as your mom is aging. Be prepared for having all the medical and durable POA s , will, living will, bank accounts set up for POD ( payable on death). All passwords , social security/ Medicare info… anything that if your mom woke up tomorrow and is no longer capable. Make yourself aware of all Medicaid qualifications.

my mom all of a sudden did not want the tv on…

Many people with dementia appear just fine. But they are not. All care homes aren’t bad, and promises we make before they get sick don’t need to be honored. It would be nice if we could, but we have no idea what we’re promising at the time. It seems so lovely - I love you, Daddy, and I’ll make sure you never have to go to a home. But that’s before we have 3 kids and he’s smearing excrement all over the walls of his house. Don’t feel guilty for not keeping that promise. He never should have said that.

My mom showed signs of decline that my sister and I didn't recognize soon enough. She could still hold excellent conversations, did meal's on wheels, was in the Emblem Club. Then thing's we didn't recognize started to make sense. She would call in a panic without giving an explanation other than saying " I need you". I would drive like a maniac to get there only for her to say with a big smile that I came so quickly. One day she locked herself in her bedroom and couldn't get it unlocked so I was forced to knock the door down. She had urinated in the waste basket. One day she just couldn't walk and started shaking. This was our beginning. It starts with thing's we least expect. My mom used to love music and loved to sing. She doesn't anymore. God bless you on this very difficult journey. Find happiness in the small thing's. I'm still struggling with my worries and people on this forum have given great advice and truly only want to help you.

What we are trying to explain to you is that dementia changes a person entirely, and that what once was, is no longer. Your mother once loved music, now it irritates her, which is a case in point.

You were also given referrals to reading materials and online resources for help in learning about dementia. If that means you are in 'the wrong place', I'm not sure what kind of advice you were looking for, in addition to the 3 reasons you were given as to why your mother no longer likes to listen to music she once liked listening to.

"Putting" a person in a Memory Care ALF becomes necessary for many of us at a certain time and is not a punishment, but a fact of life for children dealing with their parents' dementia. It's a disease of progression, whether a psychologist tells you that or not. A Neurologist is the doctor to see, and/or a geriatric psychiatrist if the behaviors become difficult/aggressive, etc.

You are speaking with people who are or have walked the walk LC. And who can advise you accordingly, from first hand experience. You'd be wise to hear the advice you're being given, even if it is not applicable today. Tomorrow things can be entirely different with dementia, unfortunately. Sad but true.

Wishing you good luck.

LC46953, could be her hearing. I am only in my mid-70's and find I need to use the "closed caption" on the TV more and more. And certain music I use to enjoy is now a bit high pitched.

I, apparently, am in the wrong place. Her dementia is not so severe, at this time. Her psychologist did not recommend placement into a facility.

All I can say is that my step-mother who is in MC has lost her interest in everything except picking up rocks and sticks outside.

She has dementia, first recognized 10 years ago, she was holding her own for several years then the shade came down that is when she lost her interest in most everything.

What was is no longer and will never be again. She can change overnight.

She watches tv most of the time. Can discuss world events, cook a few things, heat her food. She can call me if she wants or need anything. She takes care of her cats. I clean her bathroom and arrange for yard work. I take her to the store weekly. Perhaps others would put her in a nursing home but I don’t feel this is the time. I posed a simple question, would have appreciated an answer.

Why is your 89 y/o mother living alone if she suffers from Alz/dementia?? That's a dangerous situation for her, as she advances with disease. She can burn the house down or mix chemicals together and asphyxiate herself quite easily. Or start wandering....right out the front door and get lost.

When dementia is at play, a person can easily forget they liked certain music, and suddenly find it irritating. Your mother can regress back in time to when she was 20, and not recognize you, because you weren't born yet. She can become afraid of you b/c you're a 'stranger' and get hysterical at your presence. Then what? You have to take action now to learn all you can about Alz/dementia and make plans to get in home help for mom or get her placed in Memory Care, before a bad accident happens, that's my suggestion.

I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (which is a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it. Medication isn't always the answer for 'behaviors', either; it's more about how YOU respond to HIM that makes all the difference.

Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller 
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2

She also has published a workbook entitled, “It Isn’t Common Sense: Interacting with People Who Have Memory Loss Due to Dementia.”
https://www.amazon.com/Isnt-Common-Sense-Interacting-Dementia/dp/1481995995/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468655&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-4

The 36 Hour Day is an excellent reference type of book you can pick up on Amazon; it will answer a lot of questions that will crop up.

Teepa Snow has excellent videos about caring for a dementia patient on YouTube. You can easily Google them.

You and mom are in for a long journey ahead and this is only the beginning. I went through it with my own mother who lived with dementia for at least 6 years before she passed away in February. She lived in Assisted Living for 7 years, and Memory Care AL for the last nearly 3 years of her life, thank God. She required a team of people to care for her 24/7 in the last years of her life, as it turned out, as her dementia became advanced and wreaked havoc with her physically, mentally and emotionally.

Wishing you the best of luck navigating this journey with mom.

With having dementia, she may just now prefer peace and quiet in her house, and she probably no longer understands the words being sung too, as comprehension is lost as dementia progresses.
With all the issues your mom has it's probably no longer safe for her to be living by herself, even with you going over for a few hours every day. What about the other 22 hours or so that she's by herself? That should be more of a concern to you than the fact that she no longer likes her music.
It sounds like it's time to start looking for the appropriate facility for your mom where she can receive the 24/7 care she needs and can be around people her own age.