My 89 year old mother, who has Vascular Dementia and possibly Frontotemporal dementia, as well, has very dry, irritated eyes. The optometrist has instructed us to put special drops in her eyes twice a day. Even when I try to get her lying down in bed, she squeezes her eyes tight shut, making it very hard to instill even a single drop. To make matters worse, I'm losing hand strength. I can't squeeze the bottle AND hold her lower lid open. Any suggestions? Has anyone else been through this?
Next question: who?! Umm... go back to your optometrist's office, explain the problem, and ask if they know of anyone. If they don't, then you want to track down a nurse with experience of this kind of care, perhaps through your GP/PCP or your nearest hospital with an eye department.
It quite annoys me when health care practitioners airily give you instructions without a thought of how exactly you're supposed to comply with them.
I had to do this job after my mother's cataract surgery. She too was an "eyes tight shut" person but even I, never slow to criticise her, couldn't blame her for that - it's a straightforward reflex, and it actually takes considerable willpower to relax your eyelids when anyone or anything comes close to them.
So I'm afraid it came down to brute force, because the mistake is to be too tentative. But there is a right way to do it: you place your thumb and forefinger carefully on your mother's closed eyelids, as close to the lashes as you can, and rest the side of the same hand over her temple/forehead to keep her head still against the pillow. Let the weight fall on the side of your hand, not on your fingers. Then very firmly but NOT pressing your fingers *down*, lever the lids apart and pop those drops in like lightning. Gently hold the lids shut for a few seconds, wipe away excess with a clean soft tissue, stroke mother's hair soothingly.
If the bottle isn't squeezy enough, ask your pharmacist to dispense the same drops in a bottle with a soft pipette in its top.
If your hands really aren't strong enough for the operation, perhaps consider contacting an agency to see if they have visiting nurses who will get the ball rolling for you until your mother is used to the routine and able to co-operate better.