My husband has Lewy Body dementia. He gets up in the morning and removes the depends before he gets to the bathroom. I have tried laying down pads but he just pees on them and next to them. Everyday starts with major bathroom clean up.

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Dementia prevents an elder from knowing or caring where he is urinating; it no longer matters to him, in reality, and a 'toilet' has no meaning to your husband anymore. He's not trying to upset you on purpose; his dementia has progressed to the point now where he just does his business wherever and whenever, as is the norm with such a condition. When I worked in a Memory Care AL, some residents would pull their pants down in the activity room, squat on the carpet, and take a BM right then and there. Or on an upholstered chair, same thing. They weren't worried that the chair wasn't a 'toilet', nor did they realize it was 'inappropriate' to do what they were doing. A brain disease robs a person of logic and the ability to know 'right' from 'wrong' according to societal norms according to those of us w/o a brain disease. #Truth

Amazon sells men's Alzheimer's anti-strip jumpsuits and pajamas for this very thing: so your husband cannot get to his Depends to remove them, nor can he urinate on the floor. Purchase one or two of these anti-strip suits and dress him in one at night, with a Depends and an extra pad in there to soak up more fluid. In the morning, YOU unzip the suit, get him onto the toilet, his Depends changed, etc. YOU control the mess he makes, not the other way around. YOU have to be in charge of his dementia or YOUR life will be ruined spent doing laundry 24/7 in addition to 100 other matters.

Alzheimer's Anti Strip Clothing:

Depends Booster Pads:

Look into Memory Care Assisted Living for your husband when things get to be too much for you to handle alone at home.

Good luck!
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What a horrible way to start your day!

How/where is he removing his depends? Are they diapers or pullups? Are you sleeping in the same room? Are you around when he first gets up and can lead or follow him to the bathroom to prompt him to do the appropriate thing? Have you considered a bedside urinal or commode?

Do you have any help? This is a lot for you to handle!
Helpful Answer (1)

I’m very sympathetic. Your husband Robert is younger than you, 76, and you end up doing this for him over and over again. This is all I can think of:
1) Get a reasonably good idea of life expectancy. You can’t do this for another 10 or 15 years, even if you are physically able. Find out when you need to plan for a care facility.
2) Sleep in a different bed.
3) Give Robert’s bed a waterproof cover, one with raised sides if possible, and some loose washables in with him. They won’t help if he gets up, but might make some of it easier to deal with.
4) Check for anything that could stop him removing the depends. A straight jacket springs to mind.
5) Do you think it is all about the dementia? Or does he just not care? If the latter, think about stick and carrot options.
Best wishes, and I didn’t put murder on the list! Margaret
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Cover999 Sep 18, 2022
It appears he sees the whole bathroom floor as a toilet.
People have talked about these onesie anti strip suits that zip to the back.
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