Hello,
I did a post about APS coming to our home twice and and the neglect of self care of my husband's dad.
If any of you have read my previous question I now have a new one. My husband's father went to ER tonight 2/10/2020 at a local hospital and is being transport to his in network hospital Kaiser. APS has been called out twice by the medical field on him for neglect of self care in all aspect for himself...filth, smoking in the bed and dropping lite cigarettes under the bed, not showering for months at a time, falling, not eating what is given to him eat, refusing PT.
You know it is bad when one of the EMS says oh I have been here before!!! I wanted to say probably more than once we have a room reserved for you to move in to save you another trip... LOL
We do not know what to do next now that he is back in the hospital to get the proper help involved, to get proper parties to understand and see he is not as competent as he portrays..
Any suggestions? Learned experiences? What the next steps that can be taken?
Thx
Dumbfound
If that's the case, you'll have to keep enduring all of this; lit cigarettes dropped on the floor, coughing up a lung due to COPD, no showers for months on end, numerous trips to the ER where he will be discharged due to competency, frequent APS visits, etc. etc. It's his house, so he lives the way he sees fit, and you have no other choice but to live in the conditions he chooses.
Otherwise, move out and have your own lives you and your husband. Your FIL can hire a caregiver to come in to help him every day, or, he can sign up to live in Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing.
You do have a choice here, whether you feel like you do or not. Your FIL is choosing to live this lifestyle, meaning he is also choosing to die as a result of this lifestyle. You do not have to be a party to it. You've tried to help him, he won't take the help.,,,,,,you say you're 'done', then be done. Move out.
Best of luck
D
You need to move out ASAP. He does not need you. He is using you. Your husband is just going have to allow Dad to kill himself.
I have to vent this out....
I told him I’m done, he snapped “I know” I said “NO I’m done, no coffee, no newspaper, no meds, no meals you don’t eat it anyway no anything I’m done and walked out”.
his ER trip last night/this morning today was because of his COPD....he has been home but 20 minutes coughing up a lung lights up a cigarette.
Stupid #=?!/@ *%#@&.
Dumbfounded even more!!!!
If they send him home, start eviction proceedings immediately.
My husband in full tears as he is walking out the door he is sooooo numb he doesn’t know what to do.
Has to be at work at 7:00 and has a full day of appt calls, my husbands salary is about 70% commission based and his appt calls is where the commission comes in.
My husband is so numb he doesn’t know what to do! I don’t know what to do.
Thx for the suggestion though.
Dumbfounded